Community

The other day I was with at my Parents' home and we were reminiscing about the days when I was a Runner.  I loved Running.  I was a part of a Running Club and I loved my Community.  I loved being part of this Community.  For a long time Running was a major part of my life - my week days and weekends were dedicated to training and competing.  And I loved it.  I do miss my Running and hope to get back to Running after we have a Family.  And I also love that now I have discovered new Parts of my Self.

I was showing My Man my photos from my Running and I also found a piece of writing from 26 January 2001 - 10 years ago.  Here is what I wrote:

"MISSION STATEMENT FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS

My wish is that all people will become actively involved in, and enjoy the benefits of, true Community.

Community is where a group of two or more people, regardless of differences, are able to accept and transcend these differences, enabling them to work effectively towards common Goals.  In a true Community, members support and encourage one another.  It is a place where there is freedom to be oneself, where ideas, opinions, sorrows, joys and Dreams are shared.

I am so fortunate to be part of the Western District Joggers & Harriers Club, which is more than just a Running Club... we are a Community... a Community that makes a difference to people's lives week in and week out.  The Running Club Community which originated in mid 1967 with only a few members now has over 200 Members.  Our Running Club meets every Saturday morning at Lake Gillawarna, Georges Hall at 7:30am.  We are a Family Blub which promotes Health and Fitness, with our Members enjoying the benefits and good feelings associated with being a part of a true Community.

My wish is that every individual becomes involved and joins a Community - such as a sporting group, a social club, a volunteer organisation, a church group, or a hobby group - any place where you can meet up with other people who may have the same interest (even if the interest is based on a desire to meet new people and enjoy new friendships).  I believe that the benefits for the individual and society of building communities are immeasurable.

My wish is that everyone can be proactive in building Communities within all their day to day relationships - within their Marriages, Families, work environments, social groups, sporting groups, suburbs, cities and countries.

As individuals we can build Communities by:

- Doing what is right;

- Being open and honest in all our interactions;

- Encouraging, celebrating and accepting our Uniqueness and different opinions, thoughts and ideas;

- Listening and being genuinely interested in others;

- Learning from one another's experiences;

- Always doing the best you can, in all you do;

- Being personally committed to continuous improvement;

- Treating others, as you would like to be treated.

God gave us the best Gift of all - the Gift of free will - the ability to choose.  Each day we make Choices.  We can choose how we want to spend our time, who we want to be, our Attitude and how we act and react.

My wish is that today, on Australia Day, 26 January 2001, all individuals make a choice to take personal responsibility and make a Commitment, to being the best they can be, and to build Communities within all their relationships.

It only takes small changes as individuals - but together we can make a big difference in building a better world.

I hope my wish comes true."

I loved reading what I wrote 10 years ago - feeling Inspired and seeing that my Values and Philosophy are still very similar.  And for the last 6 months I have consciously been aware of my feeling of a lack of Community in my life, or rather, the desire for me to regain a sense of Community in my life.  I am Grateful that I have a strong sense of Belonging with my Family and now with My Man, and yet there is a Part of me longing to again be a Member of a broader Community.  The Journey of being a Member came out when I was working with my Coach last year.  And I also know in my Heart, that some of my happiest times was when I was part of my Running Community - it is a time that brought me such great joy. 

And I am Excited that I have found a Community that I am growing to love.  I feel so at home when I go to Church on a Sunday - Kingsway Community http://www.kingsway.org.au/Welcome. There is so much Spirit within this gathering of friends.  I am made to feel so welcome and at the same time given Space so that I am not overwhelmed or rushed to give more than I can.  I have been going on and off for about 2 years and it was only recently that I started going there again more frequently after being away for about 5-6 months.  When I went back to Church I was overwhelmed with this feeling of being at home, overwhelmed with being somewhere so special, so emotional that I was moved to tears - happy tears. 

I love being in Connection each week with new people and I really love the messages each week from the Pastors.  What I love is that the Pastor is able to make the bible readings very relevant for today.  I also love that what the Pastors talk about is very much in line with my work in Coaching.  I love the Kingsway Community Churchs' Mission and Vision - Refuge for Healing, River for Refreshment, Resource for Unity.  Just the other week one of the Pastors was talking about all people being in touch with their Uniqueness  in the divine plan - I loved listening and felt so Inspired after being at Church - especially since this is an area I am so Passionate about in working with my Clients - helping Clients connect to their own sense of Uniqueness and Greatness.  I also loved when one of the Pastors talked about Community as "sharing the joy of Hope".

I loved being at Church on Sunday.  I was actually Excited to be going, as I know I always enjoy the feeling of being in this Community.  This week at Church the Pastors talked about this year being a year of "letting go".  He talked about the verse in the bible from Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)  "since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" and used the metaphor of an Olympic Runner who is trying to run with a whole crate of lead and how he will be slower versus someone who is free.  He gave examples of "Everything that hinders:
    * Unfulfilled and unrealistic expectations
    * Disappointments/hurts/offences
    * Fear and insecurities, self-esteem issues
    * Apathy/laziness
    * Busyness
    * Accumulation/material obsession/worldly goals
    * Self reliance
    * Isolation/individualism
    * Programs
    * Belief systems
    * Health/fitness issues – physical/emotional/spiritual
    * Facades/masks
    * Unhealthy relationships
    * Demarcation
    * Control/pride
    * My agenda
    * Judgemental criticism
    * Disobedience
    * Comfort
    * Bitterness/unforgiveness
    * “Rights”/title/position."
I loved how the Pastor talked about Mindsets, Beliefs and Attitudes that slow us down and trip us up, and the importance of Perseverence.  I just love that the language that is used at the Church is in line with my life and my Beliefs and my Coaching.  I just love these words in one of the Pastor's Blog "The exciting thing in all of this is the goal … which is greater FREEDOM. Imagine for a minute what it would be like to be totally free … free from ‘every weight’ that slows you down, hinders your relationships, distracts your purpose, hampers your development, obstructs your growth and holds you back from being the extraordinary person God wants you to be for Him and His kingdom … NOW. The more we can get rid of these burdens, weights and loads from our life, the better and more effective we will be …  and the more fun we will have together."

I feel very Inspired to become more involved in this Community.  Whenever I go to Church I feel Inspired to Volunteer and now I feel Inspired to offer up my Gift of Coaching.  I am not sure in what form I will be involved - I would be happy to offer some Workshops and Coaching and I am Excited that I spoke with one of the Team Leaders last Sunday and will meet her for a cuppa and see if I can be of Service.  I was also very interested to hear about the Youth Programme the Church is running and may be able to offer Coaching to one of the teenagers.  I was amazed to hear that of the Youth going to a Youth Group on a Friday night, only 20% are from Families who go to the Church, 80% of the Youth are coming on their own, perhaps connecting to a sense of Spirituality for the first time.

I am Excited to have found a Community that I love.

I am also very interested in joining in the Community of Coaches that is being led by the Vision of one of my friends from College.  We are meeting in a few weeks and I am looking forward to hearing more about the Vision and Mission of this Community.  My wish is that I can combine my interest in being involved in the Community of Coaches with my desire to be more involved in my local Community.

What I love about my Church Community is that they are Local and offer so many great Programs for the Local Community, and they are also very Conscious and Connected to the Global Community.  And I love the music, I love the music - it is a chance to rejoice and be Grateful.  Here are some of the songs from last Sunday that I loved singing
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MKAzYJcWSY
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UJtuyY8v1g (very Inspired by the words of this song)
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79055I6o-NQ

When I was a Member of my Running Club, I loved seeing friends week in and week out, being caring and supporting each other, being of Service in the Community as Club Captain, and also being of Service for the greater good (as we raised money for different charities).  My wish for my Self is that I become a true Member of a Community again, and I feel I am taking steps in the right direction.

Perfect

Perfect - Defined as:
- conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type
- excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement
- exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose
- entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings
- accurate, exact, or correct in every detail:
- expert; accomplished; proficient.

When do we start trying to be Perfect?  Is it when we are young and start school and try to get everything right so that we get some gold stars and be "good"?  Is it when we are teenagers and start comparing ourselves to other people in our class, stars on television, models in the magazines?  Is it when we start working and there is the pressure to know all the answers and act like we are great at every part of our job (especially since we try so hard at the interview to impress and 'act' like we will be Perfect for the role)?  Is it when we become Wives and fall 'victim' to the 'Perfect HouseWife Syndrome'?

I am about to become a Wife again and a big Part of me wants to be the Perfect HouseWife.

I remember years ago - years and years ago - when I bought my first home with a boyfriend, a man I thought I was going to marry.  I loved our house.  And I was keen to make it a home.  I wanted it to be Perfect.  After a few months, my boyfriend broke up with me - he said I was like 'Betty Crocker' and he wasn't ready to settle down, he wanted to travel and party and stay young - he wasn't ready.

And then years later I got married and my ex-husband was happy for me to be his Wife.  And I wanted to be Perfect.  And I struggled to be Perfect.  As a couple we were far from Perfect.  And in my Self I was searching to be Perfect, to find the Perfect career to make me happy.  And I had a lot of stuff - I remember that one of our bedrooms of our three bedroom home, the study, was a mess, and I would always quickly shut the door if we had visitors.  I hated that I wasn't Perfect.  And then the imperfections became  very clear as our marriage started falling apart and I started falling apart.  And this was a long time ago.

And now I am getting married again - and I can't wait!!!  It feels very different this time.  Last time, I remember 6 weeks before the wedding and I was worried about sending out the wedding invitations and I spent a lot of time thinking and justifying in my mind why I should get married - while my Intuition, my 'gut' feel, was yelling out to me - and I didn't take notice.  Now I pay attention to my Intuition and I am so Grateful that now every part of me knows that my marriage to be will be wonderful - our relationship is wonderful.  What I love about being with My Man most is that I can be Me.  I also love that I do not have to be Perfect.  And I love that My Man is Perfect to me.  We are both imperfectly Perfect.  We accept all Parts of each other. Our love is Perfect.  How Perfect that I can be my ImPerfect Self and be loved by My Man.

As a Coach I am always on the look out for my Clients' Perfectionists, who may be stopping my Clients from moving forward in achieving their Dreams.  In working with my Clients I help them access other Parts of Self so that they can set and achieve their Goals.

And so I ask my Self - what is the role of the Perfectionist in our lives?  What is the role of the Perfectionist in my life?  I know from my Training and experience that there is a Gift to every Part within our Self.  As I Dream about being a Perfect Wife I wonder what is the message here for me?

Just today I have been thinking about what I want to achieve before we get married - apart from having a Perfect Wedding Day.  I have set my Self some Goals that are important to me: 

- Clean my Study (so much paperwork and clutter)

- Organise my Superannuation

- Clean and organise and de-clutter my garage (again). 

Perhaps the Gift of my Perfectionist is that this Part of me is reminding me of what needs to be done to clear clutter and Create Space in my home and in my mind.  And it is easy to be motivated to achieve these Goals as I know that I will feel very happy.  I always feel good after housework - I actually enjoy cleaning.  Now it is time to make more time for our home and my personal finances - it is time to get done what is important to me -  to treat these as Priorities in my life. 

It is my Mum and Dad's 43rd Wedding Anniversary today - which is beautiful.  I feel bad that I am not the Perfect Daughter as I have had such a busy week and day that I forgot that today was their special day - and now I am justifying and finding excuses.  And I am happy that my Mum and Dad had a lovely day out today - that is most important - and so it doesn't matter if I wasn't Perfect in my own eyes - what is most Perfect is that I love my Mum and Dad so much and they love me.

I love that I have such wonderful role models of marriage from my Mum and Dad.  And I do think that my Mum and Dad are both Perfect.  And My Man and I will be Perfect in our own way, in our unique way.

And as I think about my upcoming marriage I do believe that things will be different - I want things to be different.  I know that I will feel different.  We have lived together for a year now and yet I know for me marriage is different.  Some people say that when they get married it is no different from living together.  And yet I know it will be different, I want it to be different.  Getting married for me is a very BIG deal, especially after I have been previously married and it did not work.  I believe that I will feel different.  And I want the exterior to also be different - and so I want to do a BIG clean up before we get married.  It has been challenging moving 2 x 2 bedroom homes into 1 unit - and that is just an excuse.

I think that I have been so against being Perfect, that I have been too Relaxed.  And I have loved the Relaxed Part of me - it lets me relax on the lounge and watch my favourite shows after having a busy day at work.  And now it is time to bring the Organiser Part of me onto the Stage of my life and help me achieve my Goals before I get married - and I don't have to be Perfect.

I need to remind my Self - I don't have to be Perfect.

I don't want to be like the women in 'Stepford Wives' - I just want to be My Self.

Now that I am a Life Coach, working with Clients to create a life that they Love, I often challenge my Self - shouldn't I be Perfect and have every area of my life at a 10 out of 10?  Sometimes this is what I ask my Self - and then I remind my Self that I do not have to be Perfect - that, like my Clients, I am also on a Journey and I am learning and growing.  What I can promise my Self and my Coaching Clients is that I am committed to Self-Reflection, Self-Awareness and Self-Development.  With this promise and knowing I can be less Perfect and more accepting and more loving to my Self.

Beyond The Story

The Goal for me is to look Beyond The Story.  This is the Goal, when in Self-Reflection of my own life, and also in my relationships and in my Coaching.

I could tell the long Story of my day, and yet today I just want to focus on the Peak Moments or Angst Moments that highlight what may be important for my own learning.

This morning there were some Angst Moments, a time when I am tired and just waking up and somehow I go into a space of doubt about my relationship with my Man.  I am not really in doubt about him, it is just me projecting my "stuff" onto our relationship - "stuff" from my past, fears for my future based on my past.  What I love about my Man is that he loves me and I have never experienced such unconditional love.   What I love about My Man is that he does not react to my doubt, he knows my "stuff" and we can talk openly and lovingly and we can be real.  My Man is also very funny and I love that we can have a laugh together.  I love my Man.

I am glad to finish work early today.  I am feeling a sense of so much to do - I have College, and my Business and work and home.  As I am prone to clutter, I have a sense that I need to get organised at home so that I can get my College and Business "to do lists" happening and then start to get things done.

This is not about me cleaning up the spare room or clearing out my wardrobe of clothes or clearing the clutter from the dining room table.  Beyond The Story, this is about me bringing out the Yang in me, the Organiser, Doing Part of me - this is about me Consciously making Choices to focus on what is important to me.  I bring my Yang Masculine image to my mind's eye for motivation.

I love that I focus and get our spare room cleared of my clutter.  I feel that I need to develop a Resource in me that supports new behaviour in keeping clutter from accumulating in the living area and our spare room - I just have a lot of papers and books and clothes.  I close my eyes and have the idea that everytime I put something down in a place where it doesn't belong I will get sense of "NOW" which will motivate me to put the piece of clothing or paperwork in a place that it does belong.  I need my Richard to keep me ordered and organised.

I read about the Ruler/ Organiser Archetype - "The Ruler's job is to blend the other Sub-Personalities into a continuous expression.  The Ruler makes the decisions to leave something and start a new (enacted by the Destroyer and the Creator).  The Ruler decides who will do what in order to ensure the completion of the Goal in a timely manner."  When I read about the Ruler Part within us, I get a sense of my Goddess In Power image - as if she is the one asking Richard for help to get organised.  And yet I also feel that this Goddess In Power image is the Warrior part of me.  Perhaps the Goddess In Power image is me when I am Centred and Grounded, where I am able to draw on other Parts of me, all the Parts within me, all my Strengths and Resources. 

Of most importance for me is to feel Beyond The Story - such as when I think about ringing my Mum or not ringing my Mum tonight, thinking that we are so close and I love speaking to my Mum, and sitting with feelings of fear about losing my Mum.  And when I do call my Mum and Dad, I have a knowing of how much I enjoy speaking to my Parents - I love sharing our stories and I love having a sense of the emotions Beyond The Story.

Tonight I stick with my plan to not watch TV when I first get home.  And I love when I put on the music and dance around the loungeroom.  I love music and dancing.  I feel my spirit come alive.

I love reading in the bath and love reading 'Soulcraft' tonight - it is such a wonderful book.  Each word is filled with so much wisdom.  I love reading about 'Sacred Speech and Silence' - "Unlike the heartfelt conversations of Council, we spend much of our time talking about trivial matters and practical ones - the weather, plans for the day, routine office events, frivolous gossip, the new movie, canned jokes, the latest shopping acquisition, the next technological miracle, stock market shifts.  Chitchat, the everyday wins and losses.  So little of our conversation addresses our passions, loves, emotions, dreams, or our creative insights and Soul stirrings."

I love this book - "An effective strategy for tuning our awareness to the frequency of Soul is to minimise everyday conversation that separates us from the here and now and from what is truly meaningful... Few people ask the bigger questions.  For the Wanderer, however, nothing is more important: she seeks the hidden treasure, the spring bubbling in the desert, the song of the world. Constant superficial conversation keeps us from noticing what's going on with us emotionally and spiritually or in our bodies."

I want to sharpen my Gift of being the Wanderer and engage in Sacred Speech - "Sacred Speech is conversation that deepens.  It deepens relationship and enhances the fullness of our presence whenever we are and whomever we are with.  It is dialogue centred in what exists here and now between us.  We speak from the heart and address what truly matters - our feelings, imagery, dreams, life purpose, our relationships, soul stories, our discoveries of how we project aspects of self onto others or learn to withdraw those projections, and our meetings with remarkable humans, animals, plants, and places... There is no requirement that such conversation be solemn or hushed.  The sacred is often funny as well.  We laugh at our oh-so-human foibles and the jokes life plays on us every day.  The more real our conversations become, the more alive we become, the more we want to scream or shout or cry."

Tomorrow I meet with my Coach and Friday I meet with my Client.  As Client and as Coach, it is important for me to look Beyond The Story and be open and trusting of the magic and the mystery.  I feel I need to go beyond the words and go deeper.  

I am Grateful that I have been taught many Meditations and Active Imagination Techniques.  Tonight I enjoy a 10 minute Meditation, practicing a new Technique that I learnt over the weekend of identifying an area of concern and getting in touch with Body, Feeling, Needs, Thoughts, Imagination, Intuition and Will.  It is a wonderful Meditation.  I am Excited to learn additional Meditations that can help me on my Journey and also help my Clients.  I love the image below of a woman in Meditation, and to me the rising of the sun represents the new insights and awareness that can rise from our subconscious and unconscious, bringing in new awareness and offering new possibilities. 

While I am spending much time in Self-Reflection (to support my Journey of Self-Development), it is of so much importance to me to be true to my Soul Purpose and Mission and Vision to Spread The Yellow.  And tonight I remind myself of my Commitment to be present in the now and open to the opportunities to love and serve others...  

Inspired To Go For It

After being an Observer to my Yin and Yang and realising that I need to bring my Yang into power - Today is the day.  I have decided that I want to be more Confident in building my Coaching Business - this MATTERS TO ME.  Through the day I draw on my image of Yin and Yang in power - me in my power.

As my growth area is to strengthen my Yang, I also draw on my Yang images, the ones that I have chosen that represent my Yang.  As I am Visual, I find it easy to see these images in my mind's eye.

First thing this morning I read my friend's Blog and I feel Inspired, it is a great way to start the day http://piece-sunshine.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-abundant-life.html - I love reading that my friend is "really excited and inspired", that Kara refers to her life as being "amazing" and I love that Kara asks questions to her readers - "what is stopping you from living that life NOW? Why wait for the future?" - and I love this line "So live the life you want to live, NOW."  It is a wonderful, must read Blog.  

I then look at my emails and notice that I have a SPAM folder, that I have never checked before and I find this wonderful quote that was sent to me this morning -

“Time waits for no one, it just ticks away. Why then do we make our lives so much about saving or making time, why not just make it about having a great time?!!” Amir Zoghi -
"Slow down Kathryn, slow down. What are you really in a rush for? Does it really matter at the end of the day? How would you live if you knew that you only had a limited amount of time here? I’ll tell you, you would wake up to living every moment for what it is and for what it has to offer you. Well my dear, I have news for you, you are here for a limited amount of time. Did you forget that? Start living and stop waiting for the right time. The time is now, it has always been.  The UNIVERSE"

Yes - what a great way to start my day - a wonderful Blog and now a great quote to get me Inspired.  Last night at my Course we did an exercise of putting an anti-virus system around your own mind - it was a Meditation and I imagined a Yellow light radiating out.  Anthony Robbins talks about having a guard to your mind to stop negative self-talk or anything negative from entering your thinking.  This to me is so important  and I am blessed that I am naturally a Positive person.  And yet, I also believe that we all have the opportunity to read great stories or Blogs, to have great books or quotes on hand - even just have a quick look at a page of a book that is filled with Positive words and Inspiring quotes - anything that will help us be Motivated and Inspired for the day.

Today I was Inspired - Inspired To Go For It - it is time to bring my Yin and Yang into their maturity - to take ACTION.  I meet with the Operations Manager and I tell him from my heart, with Passion and Energy, that I have started my Coaching Business and that I am experienced in Motivating Staff and would like to be more involved at work in helping Coach staff and run an Incentive Program and Motivational Sessions and utilise more of my Strengths and Coaching at work.  My Yin is Passionate, My Yang is Confident and gives examples of ideas that may help staff SHINE at work.  I am rapt when my Manager says that he has been thinking of how I can help in different areas at work - and when he gets back from work, we will have a meeting with the Owner of the Business.  AWESOME, I AM Excited!!

Today at work I am also Confident when talking to other Staff about my Coaching Business - I show them my Flyers and I have a lady who says she will talk to her Husband about me Coaching her daughter - it is an Honour that she would consider me.  I look at her directly, and speak from my heart - telling her how Passionate I am about Coaching, how much I love working with people to help them grow.  I love that this lady from work offers me some ideas for promoting my Business in the local area.  I love when people offer tips and ideas - wanting me to be Successful, as they believe in me  I also love that this lady looks at my Flyer and says how much she likes it - that means so much - a kind word - the Gift of words are my favourite.

The power of my Yin-Yang is also coming into force in other areas of my life - helping me in my Communication with my Family - as we support and care for each other and work together for the Greater Good.

And then I get home and I love being home - my home with my Man.  I am so Grateful that I am so in love.  And I am so surprised when my Man walks in the door and greets me with a big bunch of Sunflowers - they are so beautiful - like they have been picked fresh from the garden - they are so beautiful.

And tonight we can relax together, enjoy some Thai home delivery (I love that my Man always orders Vegetarian dishes that I can enjoy) and some quality time together.  I am so happy with myself - I am giving myself a pat on the back, celebrating the Wins of my day, where I gave my all and was Inspired To Go For It - I loved feeling the energy and force of what is possible when my Yin and Yang work together to Make A Difference.  I am genuine in my desire to Spread The Yellow and I have a Commitment to make every day count.