Choice and Commitment

I've been having a lot of Dreams lately - they seem so real that I wake up in a daze.

The other night I had this Dream that I was getting married and I was trying to do this dance routine, like a show, and I wasn't marrying My Man.  The Dream was just on me, I did not see the groom in the Dream - and yet I had such a strong feeling of sadness that My Man wasn't the groom.  In the Dream I just wanted to be slow dancing with My Man.  When I woke up, I was so relieved to see that it was a Dream and that My Man was sleeping next to me.  Phew!!!

This morning I had another strange Dream that was very confusing.  I had a very restless night, I was up and down all night, feeling very sick in the stomach.  When I finally did get to sleep I had this Dream that I was going to ring up sick and in the Dream I couldn't work out who I had to call.  I couldn't work out if I was at school, I thought I was in Year 7 and that I had to ring a Teacher, then I had this fear in my stomach that I was in Year 12 and better start studying for the HSC, and then I realised I was working and I couldn't work out where I worked and who was my boss that I needed to call.  No wonder I have had a headache today.

I always love the words of wisdom and quotes that I receive every morning and yesterday I received these quotes
- “Take the world as it is, not as it ought to be." – German Proverb –
- "Instead of trying to change the world into what it ought to be, accept it as it is, instead of trying to change who you are into who you ought to be, accept yourself as you are. Then you will realise that the parts of your life and yourself that you had been trying to change into what they ought to be were only the parts of yourself that you had not yet loved the way you ought to love.  The UNIVERSE"

These quotes allow me the freedom to be okay with not feeling 120%.  Today in feeling at about 60%, I allowed myself the opportunity for Self-Care.  I gave my Self permission to have a sick day off work and rang my Boss.  I take the Commitment of my work seriously and yet when it comes to Choice and Commitment for today, I choose to Honour my Self.  I enjoyed the opportunity to crawl back into bed and slept for a few hours.  I feel so much better after sleeping.

And then I had another Dream.  My Soul is definitely sending me messages.  I had a Dream that My Man and I had a disagreement and then he left and then I called him only to find that he didn't pick up the phone, he must have bumped the phone and so I could just hear him in the background.  In the background he was buying an airline ticket and I didn't know where he was going and he couldn't hear me, and I was yelling out and he still couldn't hear me.  I was also relieved to wake up from that Dream by My Man ringing me to see how I was feeling.

I'm still feeling less than 100% and I'm okay to just be real with how I am today.  I am also learning to be in relationship and in love in the everyday and in the realness.  We had such a fantastic day on our engagement and I am a woman in love and I can also say that this is a Choice and Commitment that I choose to Honour, even on the days when we are both feeling less than 100%.

I have baggage from my Past, given that I have been married before and engaged another time.  I have had almost had a fear of whether I could take this big step again.  And yet when I have uneasy feelings of my Past, I see an image of boxes that are all packed up and I remind myself that I can leave the boxes closed.

This is my chance to Design my Life.  And I am glad that My Man is the one in my life, the one in my everyday.  I'm glad that my recent Dreams are not Dreams come true - if anything they made me feel terrible at the prospect of not having my Man in my life.

It was great when My Man got home from work.  It was great to go for a walk outside together.  I love being outside.  This is my medicine.  I love walking out by the beach and we are delighted to see the moon over the ocean - what a beautiful sight - the sky is a pinky blue colour.  At this time I wished I had my camera to capture the beauty.  We take a moment and capture the beauty in our mind's eye.  By the time we get home, the sun has set and we look back and see the glow of the full moon.  I just love being outside.

Another positive part of my evening was also running to an old friend from school - he is now married and due to have his first child any day now.  One of my favourite parts of living where we do, is running into people around the local Community.  I love being in Connection and Conversations.

As I reflect on today I wonder what Archetypes naturally came into my world today.  I definitely felt my Sage this morning when I made the decision regarding Self-Care.   I love having my Sage as a Resource.

My Sage activated my Caregiver Archetype - choosing to give Care to my Self.

I also reflect on the questions - What has changed?  What I am consciously applying in my day?  I feel that I am bringing myself back to the Present moment and out of my mind by consciously bringing in the image of my Yellow Heart.  If I am triggered to go into my Past, I am able to bring in the image of boxes that are packed up and this brings me back to the Present moment, rather than wasting mental or emotional energy on my Past.  I am also able to be Present and Real to what is, in my own feelings and in my relationship.  This is allowing me the opportunity to sit still in the moment.

I am happy to love and be loved at a deep level - to feel the bond at a deep level.  In my Heart, I have such a strong sense that there is nowhere else I would rather be - I have a sense of being at Home with My Man.  And it is also a Choice and Commitment that I make on a daily basis, in the sunshine, in the rain, on cloudy days, when flowers are blooming.  My Mum and Dad have been married 42 years and I have such great role models of Marriage and Commitment.  I am Grateful for my Man and I am very glad that we can both be real.  I especially love holding hands with My Man - it is the small things that are the BIG things.

Today I am Grateful to be able to go out walking with my Man, I am Grateful for extra sleep, I am Grateful for peppermint tea, I am Grateful for My Man making me dinner, I am Grateful to enjoy the beautiful sight of the full moon.  I am very Grateful that my Dad came home from hospital.  And I am Grateful that I can sit in the Space of not feeling 100% Fantastic.   And I am Grateful that I am learning to hold the Paradox of Dark and Light.

I Love Coaching

Tonight I met with one of my Coaching Clients.  I Love Coaching.  I LOVE COACHING. 

I have been at work all day, working my Monday to Wednesday job, my job outside of Coaching.  I enjoy talking to the Customers and I especially enjoy Connection and Conversations with Friends at work - and I am Grateful for my job - and the work is interesting - yet this is not my Lifework.

Once I get to my Coaching Space, I feel comfortable and Peaceful and Happy.  I enjoy setting up my room.  I feel at Home in my room.  I sometimes wish I had a room at my Home and yet I am Grateful to be part of a Community of Healers and definitely feel in the right place and Space.  

I love my Butterfly Scarf which reminds me of the Journey of Life and the Coaching Opportunity to support Client's on their Journey.  I also love lighting my candles - with the Light of my candles I feel ready - I also feel that the candles invite Spirit into my Sacred Space.  On the table I have a tealight candle holder in the shape of a rock with the word 'Love'.  I love this candle as it also reminds me of the emphasis of my work - I love to work with my Coaching Clients for love of life and love of self.  For me it all comes down to LOVE - it is this simple.  I also love lighting my Yellow candle that is in the lotus flower candle holder - I love the symbol of the Lotus - the beautiful flower emerging from the mud.

I am Grateful for my Coaching Clients.  I am Honoured that Clients share their Journey with me.  I am Honoured to share this Space.  Holding and offering a Sacred Space is of upmost importance to me.  I am  SO Grateful for the Clients that I have welcomed into my Space, VERY Grateful that they have chosen me to be their Coach.

I feel very relaxed and natural sitting in the seat of the Coach.  It is true that you can never possibly know what a Client will bring as an Agenda for the Coaching Session - and I am  SO Grateful that I have been trained to Trust the Magic and the Mystery of the Process.  I am also Grateful that I have been trained in Counselling skills as I feel that this helps me offer the best support for my Clients.

Have I mentioned today that - I Love Coaching.

I look back over some of my notes that I emailed my very first Client from when I started my Business in May.  I feel Inspired when I read my Vision for my Coaching and my Values and Beliefs in relation to my Coaching, which Shine through when I read about Client Benefits, the Transformational Coaching Process and Shine Coaching - About Me.

Client Benefits
S - Self-Awareness, Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, Self-Care, Success of Goals and Celebration of Wins
H - Happiness and Joy and a Sense of Gratitude
I - Inspiration - Feeling Energised and a sense of Purpose and Meaning
N - New Awareness and a Feeling of Newness, Hope and Excitement, A New Beginning, A New day
E - Empowered - Sense of working with what is within one’s own control and using one’s power to make positive choices

Transformational Coaching Process
S - Based on the Client’s Specific Agenda and Goals – with an opportunity for Self-Reflection and a focus on a Client’s Strengths and Resources
H - Holistic Coaching is about bringing about Balance and Authenticity in all Areas of Life, as well as attention to Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Aspects 
I - Intuition - Coaching is not about giving advice or direction, the Process involves assisting a Client to access their own answers and Insights
N - Next Steps – Each Session offers the opportunity to identify and commit to action steps for forward movement, with a space for people to be accountable to themselves
E -  Experiential – The Coaching Process allows space for sharing, and there are invitations for different exercises, questions, meditations and visualisations to assist a Client

SHINE Coaching – ABOUT ME
•    SHINE: Excitement, brightness, glowing, brilliance, excellence, eyes lighting up, a feeling of basking in sunlight, reflecting light to others
•    As a Coach it is a Honour to work with people – As a Coach I see the light in people, their uniqueness, their greatness - so that they may SHINE
•    I have been working with people for the last 5 years in Training, Motivation and Performance Management and now with training in Counselling and Coaching, I have recently started my own Coaching Business where I am very passionate about working with people in the local community
•    The Coaching Process involves shining a light on areas in life that are both working and not working, shining a light on the Vision for the future and bringing obstacles into the light to help bring about change
•    My belief is that each day is a new day, that we are not defined or restricted by our past, but that with the rising of the sun there is the opportunity to begin again or take new steps towards our desired destination
•    My desire is that the Process of Coaching can help more people LOVE SELF and LOVE LIFE

I am Excited that I am living an Authentic life and most Excited that I have my own Coaching Business.  This is a dream come true.  For years and years and years I struggled with being in the wrong job and feeling very stressed trying to fit into jobs that were not right for me.  For years and years and years I was searching for my Lifework - although I have always known that I wanted to work with people.  When I was in my early twenties I started talking about studying Psychology and about 10 years ago I first heard about the role of a Life Coach and I knew this was the role for me.  And now I am finally living my dream.

I feel that I have a deep empathy for others due to my own life experience.  I especially know the feelings of doubt and being lost and lonely and sad and anxious and depressed and experiencing a lack of purpose.  I now know the feelings of peace, truth, love, a deep inner joy and happiness and a sense of Self-Love and a strong sense of Purpose.

I have a strong sense of my Life Purpose to Spread The Yellow and I love that I can offer a Space for Connection and Service to my Clients.  I Love Coaching.  Each and every day, in the Coaching Space and outside Coaching, I am on a Mission to Spread The Yellow.

Dear God, Please allow me to be of Service for the Greater Good.  I Trust in you.  I am ready to be of Service to more Clients.  Please help me live my Vision.  I appreciate my Gifts and my Uniqueness.  I am Blessed.  I am Grateful.  Amen - Oh and also God - MOST IMPORTANTLY Please look after my Dad and Mum - please keep them safe and strong and in good health.  Amen.

My Archetypes Evening Review

I have spent so much time getting to know my Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine and now is the time to get to know my Archetypes (which are a combination of Yin and Yang).

I enjoy looking at this website http://www.herowithin.com/arch101.html which has a lot of great information about Archetypes - "Archetypes provide the deep structure for human motivation and meaning...  Twentieth-century psychiatrist C.G. Jung called them 'archetypes'.  Building upon Jung's work, Carol S. Pearson has created a system of 12 archetypes that put a human face on the meaning structures that are correlated with success and fulfilment today. Studying Pearson's archetypes can help you:

* Better understand your own journey

* Increase communication between your conscious and unconscious minds

* Trigger a greater sense of meaning and fulfilment in your life

* Inspire and motivate others

* Cope more effectively with difficult people

* Have greater flexibility to respond to the challenges of life

* Be more effective within your family, workplace, and community context."

When I read the above paragraph I feel motivated to learn more and embrace the Archetypes in myself, essentially the Strengths and Resources within me.  As part of my own Journey and my College work,  I enjoy time in Self-Reflection, where I am especially interested to understand the Archetypes that are showing up for me on a daily basis.

Today was my Niece's 4th Birthday.  I love my Nieces, they are a blessing in my life, they bring me so much joy.  We had a great day.  Time now for My Archetypes Evening Review to see what Archetypes were present for me today.  This is a Process recommended by my Coaching Teacher, Mentor, my Coach and I am happy to finally start looking at my Archetypes by using a more Yang Structured Process.

To assist me in this Process I enjoy the details on this great website -
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:mYkgixQeeIsJ:www.marketingforsports.com/content161.html+CAREGIVER+ARCHETYPE&cd=9&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=au

 

MY EVENING REVIEW
1. Which different Archetypes were predominant at different times during this day? What circumstances (inner or outer) made them emerge or withdraw? Were there any conflicts between them?
- Today I feel that I was in my Regular Gal Archetype "The Regular Guy/Gal/Orphan understands that everyone matters, just as they are.  Down-home and unpretentious, it reveals a deep structure influenced by the wounded or ophaned child that expects very little from life, but that teaches us empathy, realism, and street smarts"

-  I also felt that I was in the Caregiver Archetype "The Caregiver is an altruist, moved by compassion, generosity, and selflessness to help others.  Although prone to martydom and enabling behaviours, the inner Caregiver/Atruist helps us raise our children, aid those in need, and build structures to sustain life and health."

- I felt that I Consciously chose to be in the Regular Gal Archetype and my Caregiver Archetype naturally came in when I was with my Nieces and my Parents.

2.    What were the valuable qualities and what were the limitations to the situation of each Archetype or in their proportions? How did each help me or get in my way?
- In the Regular Gal Archetype I felt comfortable and I felt a sense of belonging with my Family, I did not feel any sense of pretense, just a genuine care and interest in everyone
- The limitation was that in blending in with everyone, there was not always the time and opportunity for a sense of Connection
- In the Caregiver Archetype I had a desire to look after my Nieces when they were in my care when we went to the Park and I also had concern for my Dad
- The challenge for me of the Caregiver in me is that I need to respect that my Nieces are not my children and that I have to trust my Mum and Dad in their own decisions - I can offer care and then I can move away and continue on my own path

3.    What did each want to contribute? What would it like my life to be if it could contribute to its highest level?
- I like what I read about the Regular Gal and Caregiver Archetypes that rings true for me
- "The Regular Guy / Gal wants to fit in. By developing ordinary, solid virtues and avoiding any form of pretense or pomposity, the Regular Guy / Gal achieves a sense of belonging in his or her chosen environment.  The Regular Guy / Gal archetype begins as an orphan who seeks somewhere to belong. At the second level, the Regular Guy / Gal learns to connect with others, accept help and develop friendships. The highest level of the archetype is the humanitarian who believes that all people have value regardless of their abilities or circumstances."
- "The Caregiver helps and protects others. By serving others and supporting them emotionally and financially, the Caregiver helps others achieve their goals.  At the lower levels, the Caregiver archetype involves caring for one’s friends and family, and learning to balance caring for others with caring for oneself. At its pinnacle, the archetype involves an altruistic concern for and desire to help the entire world."

4.  Were my Archetypes in harmony with what I wanted to do, or did I have to integrate or synthesis them? What part did I take in harmonizing and directing them?

- In my Regular Gal Archetype I just naturally sat in this place and then moved into the Caregiver Archetype as needed through the day

- In terms of my Caregiver Archetype I did need to remind myself that I am not the main Caregiver of my Nieces or my Dad and just need to give love and care in the moments and I need to ensure that this does not extend into worry

5. What are the underlying or implicit values and beliefs operating in each?

- Values of my Regular Gal Archetype are Family and Love - My core belief is that I do Belong with my Family

- Values of my Caregiver are also Family, Love, Service - My core Belief is that I do have a responsibility to give care to my Family

 

6. What assumptions can you challenge upon which you base/d your ideas, feelings and actions regarding not working with an archetype in the optimal way?

- Being in the Regular Gal Archetype assumes that I am just like everyone else and should just blend in - perhaps then I am not bringing my energy or personality or uniqueness or greatness to the day

- Being in the Caregiver Archetype I have a sense that I need to be loving and caring and yet I also must respect that my Family have their own lives and it is not my responsibility to be the worrier or rescuer

7. Recognise potential biases or discriminations in your choices or engagement with them

- Being in the Regular Gal Archetype I almost feel that I am not consciously bringing my whole Self to the day

- Being in the Caregiver I have a potential bias to move to overcare or worry

8. Describe any fears to acknowledge them and build resources to transform them

- In terms of being in the Regular Gal Archetype I have a fear that I am not bringing other Parts of myself to the day, I am lacking Consciousness of what Parts of me I may need to bring onto the stage

- In the Caregiver Archetype there is also a fear of stepping into worry and also a sense of being misunderstood or unappreciated

9. Identify possible areas for improvement. What might make a difference?

- In terms of being the Regular Gal Archetype I do not want to just be sitting in this Archetype - I would prefer to be sitting in my Soul's Home of "Being Present and Warm to What Is" and then Consciously bringing my Archetypes onto the stage as guided by my Intuition

- In terms of the Caregiver Archetype I love my Nieces and my Family and my Man and I can bring in my Sage's wisdom to stop me from going into overcare or worry

10. What are the most compelling reasons to make this difference and grow?   What is the deeper meaning of this for you?

- By sitting in my Soul's Home of "Being Present and Warm to What Is" I can tune into my Sage and understand the Archetypes that will support my being, my day, my Journey

- While I love the Gifts of the Regular Gal of realism, empathy and lack of pretense - I do not want to fall into complacency where I just blend in and lose a sense of my uniqueness

11. What change does this call for? What theories and philosophies might help and assist your growth? Where or who might that help come from?

- I have a sense that Meditation on a daily basis will help me connect with my Soul and Sage and this will assist me on my Journey

- I also love just taking this opportunity to learn about my Archetypes and believe that Art Therapy will also help me on my Journey

12. What is your Vision for the outcome of these differences?

- My Vision is to sit in a place of Awareness and Consciousness of all Parts of Self

- By also Being in a relaxed, peaceful and natural state, with a Consciousness of being "Present and Warm To What Is" I feel I can choose how to act and respond by tuning into my Sage

- Other times, by having an Awareness of all my Archetypes, I feel I will naturally bring them on to the dancefloor of my life to serve the greater good

13. Outline the specifics if you need to (mind, spirit, body, emotions). Where is the first place to start experimenting with the change? When will this occur? 

 - For me I am making the Commitment to enjoy Meditation every day

 - I am also going to use my Journal and all of these questions for Self-Reflection

14. What else might create opportunities for practicing the “how” of the change?

- I can practice this change when I am in the workplace from tomorrow, just being "Present and Warm to What Is"

- I can also continue to remind myself that my Family are on their own Soul Path and rather than constantly being in the role of Caregiver I have to be active in caring for myself with a focus on my own Path

15. What might help move this toward becoming a new positive habit?

- Affirmations will help me - "Present and Warm to What Is" and "Trust others to be on their own Journey"

- Art Therapy

16. What systemic changes might create powerful additional help with reinforcement of whole new directions?

- These changes will free up my energy and create Space, so that I can tune into my Intuition and my Sage that will guide me on my Next Steps for my Purpose, my Life, my Coaching Business.

WOW, that is a big Process - a lot of great questions.  This Process is definitely worthwhile.  I have a sense that I can Consciously choose which Archetypes will serve the greater good.

And after such a Yang Process, I embrace my Yin and enjoy Art Therapy.  When I spend time on the Regular Gal Archetype I draw lines and lines of colour and then I have a sense that this does not feel right, that I want to shake it up!  I also write next to the Regular Gal heading - 

"How can anyone be Regular?  

We are all the Same,

We are all so Different!!!

We are Ordinary, 

We are Extraordinary!!!

I also enjoy sketching in colour in Reflection on the Caregiver and I have a sense of rays of light and energy all coming from me towards others.  I write the following words -
"If I direct all my light and energy to others, I am not taking care of myself.
In this space, I am not trusting others to care for themselves."


Now time to give Care to Self...

Yin And Yang Everywhere

It was a busy and great weekend for me - time with Friends, Family and my Man.  On Saturday I enjoyed a long walk with a close Friend.  My Friend is studying Counselling and I love hearing about her Course and her Life and her Projects.  I also love sharing my excitement about Yin and Yang.  

I now see and feel Yin And Yang Everywhere.

On Saturday afternoon I enjoyed seeing 'Sex And The City II' with Friends - it is a fun movie.  And while watching and laughing with the movie, I am also seeing the Yin and Yang playing out in the characters and in the relationships between the characters.

I see the Yin and Yang dynamic in Carrie and Big's relationship - Big is enjoying more Yin time, quiet, relaxing time on the couch and Carrie is wanting more Yang, more "sparkle", sensing that there is too much Yin and not enough Balance, leading to not feeling a sense of Connection in their marriage. I love seeing Carrie take ACTION and the Conversations between them.  I also love Charlotte's Storyline, trying to be the "perfect" Mother and Wife and pretending that everything is going well - Charlotte is trying to be Yang, feeling that she can be Yang, where it is ordered and logical.  And then in Connection with Miranda, Charlotte is able to reveal her truth, her Emotional Yin, in that Motherhood is hard, and she is finding it difficult even with a nanny.  I love that Miranda makes it okay to talk openly.  And I also love Miranda's storyline, where she has a clash with her Boss, so much Yang happening in the Laywers' Office, and then she is able to be true to her Feminine Yin and be at her Son's School Awards and also then finds a job where she can be in her Yin and Yang.

I also see the dynamic of Yin and Yang playing out in relationships in my own life.  I see a situation playing out where there is a Yang energy and then this triggers another Yang energy and then there is no Connection - and as a third person, I try to bring in a Yin energy, softly, gently - and yet the whisper of Yin is too soft, the Yang energy is taking up the Space.  And then, in another situation I witness myself being more Centred and Grounded in my Communication with my Brother, which allows him to be open and share with me.  In the past I have often showed up in too much Yang or too much Yin, solely in a Warrior or Caregiver Archetype, which did not generate Connection, instead it was about right and wrong, black and white.  Yesterday I really enjoyed walking and talking with my Brother in an open and caring Space.  I would love there to be more time to enjoy Conversations and Space and I treasure these moments when my Brother is open and we are in the natural flow.  

And the lesson for me is to step away and not take on the worry or the energy - to trust my Family members to be in charge of their own lives (as they know that I am always here if they need me).   This is an area of Self-Development for me, not taking on the worries or concerns of others.  My Friend sent a text which was beautiful today "Happy Winter Solstice.  What are we going to say Goodbye to and allow more to come tomorrow when we wake?" - GREAT QUESTION.  I choose to say Goodbye to worry:

- Goodbye to worrying about the lives of others (still caring and showing empathy)

- Goodbye to worrying about that which is not within my Sphere of Control

- Goodbye to worrying about my past mistakes (still learning and growing from life experience)

- Goodbye to worrying about the Future (still believing in the Future and having a Vision for the Future, but letting go of my attachment to an outcome, and letting go of thoughts and worries that do not serve me in the NOW).

I Welcome BEING IN THE NOW.  I Welcome CONNECTION.  I Welcome being a Witness to Yin And Yang Everywhere and Consciously making Choices to bring Yin and Yang in Balance in my life, my relationships, my Coaching Sessions.  I love the below image of Yin and Yang - this speaks to me about the dynamic between two people in Connection.  This is the Consciousness that I bring as a Coach to my Clients.

I love that my Consciousness of Yin and Yang allows me to draw on these aspects within myself as Strengths and Resources.  On my work today, I am very Conscious of bringing in my Yang to support me for the day - it is though my Yang Part of me, my Masculine is the one giving me a positive pep talk.  As I walk to work I draw on my Yang image of Richard Gere who reminds me of the importance to go to work.  As my Monday-Wednesday job is not my lifework (at an obvious level) I sometimes have to bring my Yang to keep me Motivated.  And yet once I walk in the door, I stay true to my Commitment to do my best and I love when I Achieve and Exceed my Targets. 

And I am Conscious of also wanting a Balance of Yin and Yang in my work, in my everyday - and so I love the laughter and Conversations with other Staff and with Customers and I love walking outdoors in my breaks.  

By knowing my own Yin and Yang, I can Consciously make Choices in my life.  I am happy to be out in the world and an Observer to myself and the world, an Observer to myself in the world. 

It Is A Gift

I have had a wonderful day today.  I love just being in the Flow of the day.

I had a wonderful morning meeting with my Client.  I LOVE BEING A COACH.  It is such an Honour to sit with a Client and witness Courage, Beauty and Transformation.  I only have one Appointment today and one Client at the moment and yet I am so happy that I am now Coaching and trust that my Business will continue to build and there will be a natural flow of Clients.

I am Grateful for having Space in my day to allow for the magic and mystery and just trusting the flow and following my Intuition.  And it is in this flow that I can enjoy Connection with others.

I love seeing my friend at her Physio Clinic - just to enjoy a brief Connection.  And I love seeing my friend and her lovely little baby and I enjoy just sharing Space and sitting together.  And I love sharing Conversations with the Manager at the Bookstore where I work - I love hearing her stories and hearing her excitement about her dreams.  I love just being in Presence and Connection.  Through my Training in Counselling and Coaching I have learnt to listen, to really listen, to be totally Present with another - and I love listening and I love being totally Present with another.  It Is A Gift - such a beautiful Gift and Honour to have another share their story, their passions, their dreams, their challenges, their emotions - and It Is A Gift to give someone your Presence.

And I love having Space for Connection with My Self.  And time for Connection with Nature. 

It Is A Gift to be Present and in the Moment - therein lies the opportunity for other Gifts - such as the Gift of the beautiful Autumn leaves that were just waiting to be noticed on the pavement and that I brought home in awe of their beauty.  Very easily I could have been lost in the Overthinker Shadow or in my Imagination, and  yet as I was in the NOW, while walking through the mall, these beautiful leaves caught my eye.

I am Grateful that my Man supports my Dreams and he trusts my Journey.  I am Grateful that my Man welcomed me into his home which is now our home, and this has always been my Dream - to love and be loved and be in Union.  His love and support has also helped me step into my Coaching Business.

And I love being an Observer to my own Journey.  Today there are many of my Archetypes that come and go in my day.  My tag line for my Business is "Love Your Life" and yet a big part of my work I am drawn to in Coaching is about helping Clients Love Self, Love Life.  I feel myself in the Lover Archetype - "The Lover is gentle and reaches out gently to others.  Following a loving acceptance of ourselves, we may gently reach out to others, contributing ones unique abilities for the greater good of all.  Helps us transform the fear of losing the taste of living, at the superficiality, cruelty and indifference around us.  Integrating the personality can help us to find a way forward as true human beings, loving and nurturing one another."  I LOVE THESE WORDS and I love that I have a very real sense of Self-Love and a genuine Love of ALL Life and My Life.

I also feel myself in the Creator Archetype today - "Creator - The artist, writer, poet types the maker of Dreams, the inventor that discovers ways of making new things and of unfolding new Dreams.  The Creator Sub-Personality will assist you in making your life less stale, more flowing, in conveying your ideas to others, contributing to the collective Dreams of humanity."  I love being in my Creator.  Today I get an Intuitive Impulse about leading a Self-Development Book Club - it had been an idea I had discussed with the previous owner of the Bookstore, and yet now that I am Coaching from the Clinic at the Bookstore it seems like an opportunity to become more involved in the Community.  The Manager at the Bookstore agrees that it is a perfect fit and we Brainstorm and discuss potential books.  I am feeling Excited and Inspired.  Rather than rushing in and thinking, thinking, thinking, I am just going to sit with the idea for a few days and then I will dedicate some time to think and feel and perhaps enjoy a Meditation to get in touch with the possibilities and then put together some ACTION Steps to make this happen!

When I get home from Coaching with my Client and Conversations with friends, I also Consciously choose my Organiser Yang to come onto the stage of my day.  I am happy that my Yang is helping me with new habits to help me  to stop leaving my clutter in the spare room or on the dining room table.  Even when I am feeling my Yin wanting to be creative and enjoy other Projects, my Organiser keeps me focused to achieve my Goals - even simple things, like putting away my clothes in an organised way in my cupboard or paying bills or making phone calls to organise advertising - my Yang is getting the jobs done for me.  Even when I am tired tonight and I just want to relax on the lounge and watch the DVD that I rented, my Yang Organiser keeps me going to wash up and clean up the kitchen.  And I feel good - even feeling good at completing the most basic of tasks.

And now it is time to relax and just enjoy a movie...  and what a great Gift to give myself... 

Different Parts Of Me

Today I am Grateful for my day.

When the alarm goes off this morning I feel tired and I would have been happy to stay in bed a little longer, a lot longer - I stay a little longer.  I feel my Athlete Archetype wanting to come on stage.  Last night I read about the Athlete Archetype in 'Sacred Contracts' by Caroline Myss - "This Archetype represents the ultimate expression of the strength of the human spirit as represented in the power and magnificence of the human body."  I have been Walking rather than Running - and I have enjoyed Walking - and yet I love Running.  This morning I felt Inspired to go Running and it felt wonderful to be Running.  I only ran for 8 minutes and it was slow - and yet it was just for me.  I remember the days when I would be out Training every morning, Running, Racing, Competing, Sprinting - and it was an incredible feeling when I was Racing and it was amazing crossing the finish line and winning Races.  And there may come a day when I Race again.  And yet for today and for now, I am happy to just Run.  I am glad my Athlete Archetype came through for me this morning.

When I reach the Park I am happy to be in Nature.  I love being in Nature.  In the Park I have a sense of the words "I Am Health, I Am Beauty, I See Beauty".  I could stay in Nature all day.  I love being in the Park, I love looking out at the ocean, I love watching the seagulls.

On my way to work I am delighted that I see a beautiful Kookaburra - I love Kookaburras.  The Kookaburra is sitting in our backyard, peacefully sitting on the wooden outdoor setting.  I am running a bit behind time, and yet I love Kookaburras and so I walk up and say hello - not being too close - just close enough for me and enough space for the Kookaburra not to be scared.  Seeing Kookaburras brings back wonderful memories for me of when I was a child and would be away with my Family and we would feed the Kookaburras on the balcony.  I look up Google Images and yet I cannot find a photo that would capture the picture in my mind's eye.  I love having my camera on hand to capture images and yet I very much love just being in the moment to capture the moments in my heart and mind's eye.  When I am in the Park, in Nature, spending time with the Kookaburra I feel I am in my Yin Goddess Part of me - my Goddess Part that I have affectionately called Rose.

In 'Sacred Contracts' I read about the Child of Nature Archetype - I find information on this website
- http://www.goddess-guide.com/archetypes.html
"This Goddess Archetype feels most at home in the outside bonding and communicating with the forces of nature. The Child of Nature is often emotionally very sensitive and prefers solace and the company of animals to being with people. They are often independent and physically fit... To have this particular stereotype you need more than a love of nature. Your health and well-being is affected if you are unable to spend time outside working with animals, plants and other nature spirits. Your idea of hell is likely to be working in a busy office in the centre of town."

I love being in Nature.  And when I am in Nature, I wish I could stay there all day.  When I am at work in the office, I love getting out, at every chance I get - just to be out in the fresh air, enjoy the Trees and Flowers and hear the Birds singing.

I am really enjoying getting to know the Different Parts Of Me and then I love reading about the Archetypes.

Peak Moments In Time for me involved me being in Connection with others.  I love being in Connection, enjoying Conversations with others.  Today I loved listening with interest to the stories of some of the ladies from work, I really enjoyed sharing a sacred space, just for a few minutes.  This weekend at College I have been reminded of the power of listening, attentive silence, reflection - the power of being totally present.  I feel that when I am in Connection with others and when I genuinely offer an acknowledgement from my heart, I feel that this is my Gift to Spread The Yellow.

I am happy to receive some beautiful Flowers from my Man - we have been together for 10 months today. My Man is so important to me and I am very important to me - and so I am now Consciously choosing to find the Balance.

I am happy to be in love and there is so much else going on for me.  I feel that I am overloaded with so much information and yet there is also so much simplicity - therein lies the paradox.  My Mentor and Teacher used this word "paradox" on the weekend and I feel that this word and reality resonates with me.  I am joyful and I also have a sense of sadness.  There is so much and yet it is so simple.

I feel that there are some big learning opportunities for me.  I feel that I carry a lot of heaviness on my shoulders.  I feel my Caregiver Archetype is strong and yet the Shadow of the Caregiver is that it wants to take care of everyone.  I feel that I sometimes worry about what is not within my control - and yet the opportunity for my growth is to allow others to take responsibility for their own lives and not feel that I have to worry or give advice or even place judgement or step into a Parent shadow.

All of this Self-Reflection can put myself at risk of turning into Overthinking or Analysis - and I really just want to smell the roses and be in Connection.  And yet I feel that this work is valuable and helps me be in Connection with me.

Self-Reflection offers me the opportunity to get to know the Different Parts Of Me and how they play out in my life.  Through Self-Reflection there is the opportunity for me to Consciously make Choices in my life.  I love that I have now made the choice to not put the TV on until after dinner - instead tonight I put on music and enjoyed dancing, I felt my Goddess dancing around the loungeroom and then I enjoyed creating dinner for my Man.

I listen to one of my Shania Twain CDs and I love this song - I feel like I am singing this to my Self  "Wanna Get To Know You That Good" - I also love this clip - Shania Twain is a beautiful Goddess -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iJvLdcvbis&feature=related

As I get to know the Different Parts Of Me, I learn to love the Different Parts Of Me.  I learn to love that I have all these Strengths and Resources within me.

And I love that I Am A Coach and I love that I can help my Clients discover their Beauty, their Self.  This is my greatest desire - to help my Clients Love Self and Love Life...

Walk In Nature

Another perfect two quotes that were emailed to me this morning

- “As we cultivate peace and happiness in ourselves, we also nourish peace and happiness in those we love.” Thich Nhat Hanh

"If it’s peace and happiness you are looking for Kathryn, you don’t have to look so far for it. It’s not so much out of your hands as you think my dear. It’s right where you are, right where you stand, in this present moment and it’s all up to you. Your natural state is peace Kathryn and you will connect with your natural state when you stop trying to find peace in your environment. Your environment and circumstance are only reflecting to you what you are holding onto within you. Find inner peace, inner happiness and you will reflect peace and happiness in your world. It’s hard to believe isn’t it, that this whole time you could have been peaceful and happy for no reason but because you connected with yourself? The UNIVERSE"

I am tired this morning, up late writing my Blog and watching my favourite TV Shows and yet I am happy to be up and out of bed in time to go outdoors and Walk In Nature.  When looking at my Values (that I have on my bedroom wall), I see that Nature is at the top, even though I did not put these Values into any order or Priority.

It is interesting to me now, that I can see Health under Nature and then Balance and next to Nature is Gratitude and of course Love is always at the Centre.  It is interesting as I feel of Great Health when I am in Nature, and I am always so Grateful of the beautiful Gifts of Nature - the Birds singing, the sunshine, the ocean, the Flowers, the Trees.   Being in Nature also brings Balance in my life - so despite the cold air and the need to get to work - I love my Walk In Nature this morning.

While I walk towards the Bay I am thinking about my Dream from last night.  Initially my Yin Feminine takes the stage, as I walk along and I listen and watch the Birds and love smelling the single red rose from the corner house on the way to the ocean.  My Yin then allows her Masculine Yang Thinker to come onto the stage - thinking about my dream from last night.  Of course Yang invites Yin to share the stage, feeling into the emotions of the Dream.  

Since I have opened up to this world of my Dreams I am gaining more insight to myself and my Journey.  I read another interesting part in 'Soulcraft' that "Jungian analyst Robert Johnson recommends we avoid understanding our Dreams in a way that flatters the ego.  The Dream maker, the Soul, wants us to help the ego mature and transform, which, as we have seen, often begins with the ego dying to its current worldview.  The Dream maker is not interested in congratulating the ego, but rather in suggesting where it might be limited, wrong, confused, mistaken - that is, where it has opportunities for initiation into a larger story, a larger life."  WOW - I love this - there is still so much to learn and so many opportunities for growth.  There were a few aspects in my Dream that spoke to me this morning - one part was where there were two little girls and I was telling one of the girls to dance, that she should always dance, that dancing is so great.  In recalling this part of the Dream I had a sense that just because I love to dance, does not mean everyone likes to dance and it is not up to me to tell others what to do.  And that's what I do love about Coaching - it is not about giving advice or direction - it is about allowing the space for a Client to get in touch with their own answers within.  Perhaps my Dream is just a reminder to me, and this helps take away the pressure of needing to know or feeling I have to know.

I love my Walk In Nature - by the time I reach the ocean, I have left the story of my Dream behind and I am now in the moment.  I feel Inspired to run up through the Park and enjoy being amongst the Trees.  I just love Gunnamatta Park.  As I walk through the Trees I have this sense of my Goddess Dance, swirling around in a long flowing skirt and just twirling in and around the Trees.  I love this feeling.

As I feel myself as the Goddess Dancing, I have a sense of my Child Yin running ahead of me, hiding behind the Trees, playing and giggling.  I have this Visual image in my mind's eye - it is an image of a photo of me as a Child.  My Child Yin leads me to the left hand side of the Park and I love seeing a Kookaburra laughing and singing - I love Kookaburras, my favourite of Birds.  

It is quite incredible having this sense of observing another Part of myself in my imagination.  I follow my Child Yin, following my Intuition and I find myself in front of another of my favourite Trees.  I love all the Trees in Gunnamatta Park, I have a sense of Belonging, of Protection, of being at Home here.  I love stopping and being in Connection with the Trees.  I put my hand on the heart of this Tree and I let go of my thoughts and relax and I have a sense of these words "It is not about doing, it is about being.  Yin and Yang are always there.  Take off the pressure, leave all pressure outside the door.  Welcome sacred space."  I also have a sense of mirrors being in my room to help others see the greatness in them, however not mirrors that would make someone self conscious.  I then have a sense of the words "Shake it off".  I say "Thank you my wise friend" to the Tree and as I walk away I "Shake it off" - shaking my legs and arms and moving about - just letting go of any pressure I am putting on myself as a Coach - I love this action - it reminds me of a dance we did at College which I loved, which is also offers the opportunity to let go.

As I walk back through the Park, I now have a sense of my Adolescent Yin just standing still.  I can feel her energy.  I don't feel her watching me - rather I am an Observer to her.  My Adolescent me is just standing there, trying to be perfect, wanting to look pretty, wanting to fit in, afraid to move.

In the feeling of my Goddess I watch her and realise how I feel so different to my Adolescent Yin - no longer needing to fit in or desperate to be liked - now I have given permission to myself to be me.  It is a wonderful feeling.

As I leave the Park I do a twirl, I feel alive, I bid my favourite place and Trees goodbye for today.

I have a sense that my Child Yin, my Adolescent and my Goddess are all within me and I am happy that I have had a chance to meet them and get to know them, recognise them.

For me I have such a strong knowing and I am so Grateful that I now have all these wonderful Strengths and Resources and Yin and Yang Parts within to draw on to help me on my life Journey.  The words that came to me when I was in Connection with the Tree really speak to me today - my second Session with my Client is tomorrow and yet I am feeling very relaxed and at peace.  I feel that I do not have to do anything - most important for me is to just be - to create and hold a sacred space with my Client.

I have this beautiful feeling, that in my Coaching, it is as though my Yin and Yang are in embrace, totally in the moment, totally present, quiet, enjoying a sunrise (such beauty).

My Yin and my Yang, my Self are a Witness to the sunrise - the beauty in my Client, the beauty of my Client's Journey.  My Yin and my Yang are there together to serve the Client - and they sit and listen and wait and wait.

And then my Yin Intuitive Part of me is open to my Spirit and may invite the Yin Feeling Part of me to express empathy or acknowledgement or my Yin may call on my Yang to pull out tools and techniques and exercises to help the Client, or my Yang may need to be direct in communication.  My Yin and Yang are there to serve me as a Coach, and as a Coach I am there to serve my Client.  I love feeling into the images of my Yin and Yang, bringing their images into my mind's eye.

Today on the way to work I realise that I am never totally in Yang or never totally in Yin - while out enjoying a Walk In Nature and feeling into my Intuition, it is common for my Yang Thinker to enter my mind - or when I am at work and I am in Yang, I cannot separate out my Yin - my Feeling, Creative, Intuitive Yin is always there, ready for Yang to take a break from work and notice the coloured painting on the wall.

While at work today, I love being in Conversations with my work colleagues, this is one of my favourite parts of my Monday-Wednesday job.  It is funny I never feel nervous or feel a need to prepare for Conversations in my daily life - as I do not know with whom I will share time and what the other person will say - I just love naturally being in the flow and in Connection with another.  And I realise that this is the reality of working with Clients - Coaching is just a series of Conversations with guidance and tools along the way.  I spend time reading my Client's notes and work on some ideas that may support my Client - and yet I remain open to the magic and the mystery - and I feel very comfortable being in this Space.

For me I look forward to just holding a sacred Space for my Client, for all my Clients.  I am here to Make A Difference.  I am here to Spread The Yellow. 

I am VERY Inspired by these quotes 

- "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Mother Teresa

- "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Teresa

- "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." Mother Teresa

- "Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light." Norman B. Rice

- "There are two ways of spreading light - to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." Edith Wharton, Vesalius in Zante

- "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier."  Mother Teresa

- "Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person." Mother Teresa


I AM FEELING VERY INSPIRED!!!!!!

Connection Is Most Important

Through getting to know my Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine and in their coming together, I have come to a place of Self-Love, I feel that I have Inner Resources to help me on a daily basis.  I feel more Self-Reliant, where I can depend on myself to achieve my Goals.  And yet I also believe it to be true, that people need people, we need each other. 

It reminds me of the quote "No man is an island..." - I Google the quote by John Donne - Meditation XVII "All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

When I read these words I do believe that people are social beings and they cannot live entirely alone or in isolation.  I love the movie 'Castaway' with Tom Hanks, where he makes a friend from his volley ball - in the movie Wilson is a real and true friend.  Hanks has said that in studying survivors of various situations he found that they need someone to talk to (as much as they need fire and water) and if they don't have someone, they create them.

I am Honoured to be a Coach in that for many people this offers an opportunity for Connection, for real Conversations, for people to be real and honest and speak from their heart.  Even as I write these words I  have a feeling that this is my favourite place, where I am in real Connection with others.  I read these words in 'Soulcraft', "Soul initiation transforms our lives by the power of the truth at the centre of our Soul image.  Embracing that truth results in a radical simplification of our lives.  Activities and relationships not supportive of our Soul purpose begin to fall away.  Our former agendas are discarded, half-completed projects abandoned.  Many old problems are not solved but outgrown.  Old ways of presenting and defending ourselves become less appealing, and less necessary."    

John Donne was also communicating that all mankind is interconnected - I believe that this is so true.  Perhaps that is why I don't enjoy watching the news or reading newspapers (very often) - there is so much sadness and human suffering - I cannot watch it without feeling pain for those fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters.  I can relate to the words in 'Soulcraft' about feeling a Connection to all people and to Nature, "...pathways to Soul stimulate a deep bonding, not just between people but also between humans and the other beings of nature.  Bonding across the species boundaries help us overcome the conflicts and disparities between Nature and culture and within human culture itself.  By deepening our identification with all life-forms, with ecosystems, and with the planet herself, we begin to discover within us what deep ecologist Arne Naess calls the 'ecological self' or what James Hillman calls 'a psyche the size of the earth' - the broader and deeper self that is a natural member in the more-than-human community."

Being in Connection with others when it is real and heartfelt is wonderful.  It is through relationship that we can Value and Encourage and Love each other. I am delighted when I get two emails from friends and a positive and happy email from a past Client.  I love when I feel in Connection with others.

And when I don't feel Connection with others, this also teaches me something about myself - my desire for Connection is strong and so my internal reaction is strong - I just want to be real and have real  Conversations.  My Teacher was saying one weekend in College (I can't remember her exact words) that we are meant to be in relation to each other - that we only see ourselves and find ourselves when we are in relationship to others.  When we love something about someone, we love that capacity within ourselves. - I love when seeing the lady at work Excited and talking about the photos of her daughter from their overseas trip, and also hearing my Man's Mum talk about her holiday.  And then when I have an internal reaction to someone (someone pushing my buttons) this is usually a signal that we are disowning a part of ourselves, there may be a part of ourselves in the Shadow.  By being a Witness to myself, I find it interesting to realise that there is a lesson in her for me.  Such as when my Judge part of me comes onto the stage and I am judging someone else for being a Judge, it makes me look at areas in my life where this may be playing out.  With my Yin and Yang on hand I can bring my own Shadow Parts into the light, and also be in acceptance of Self and acceptance of others.

Being in relationship is very important to me.  I love the strong Connection with my Mum and Dad - I love talking to them every day.  I love that I can have real and heartfelt Conversations with them.  Of course, I love talking to my Man - even though we enjoy our own time and interests, I feel we have a strong and loving Connection - and I am Grateful.  Spending time with my Brother and Sister-In-Law and my three beautiful Nieces is always a top priority for me.  And now I am also hoping to build a stronger Connection with my Man's Family.

Tonight I talk to a close friend.  We do not see each other very often and yet we are very close.  This beautiful woman showed me her true friendship when she would come and sit with me and just sit and share space, when I was in a deep, dark place.  It is a very long time ago - and yet I will always remember the difference she made in my life through her unconditional love and caring.  Tonight we talk on the phone, I feel in Connection with my true friend, and I tell her that I will always be Grateful for just coming and sitting with me.  This experience taught me the importance of keeping it real and the importance of a true friend.

True friends are important to me.  Especially now as I am entering a new phase in my life.  Connection Is Most Important to me - real, heartfelt Conversations and believing in each other, encouraging each other, seeing the beauty and greatness in one another.  I am blessed to experience Connection with many of my wonderful College friends - although my life feels very separate to them - and yet I feel they are my Soul Sisters.

I bought a new book last Saturday (another book - I love books) - 'Where will you be five years from today?' by Dan Zadra and I read these words tonight -

"Surround yourself with people who believe you can.

By all means, share your goals - 

but only share them with people

who can help you attain them.

Benchmark test for choosing friends:

Will spending time with this person drag me down or life me up?

Will he or she make me want to be a better person?

A happier person?  A more successful person?  

Will he or she help me achieve my most important goals?

If not, find friends who will."

And then this quote is also included - "One of my best moves is to surround myself with friends who, instead of asking, 'Why?' are quick to say, 'Why not?' That attitude is contagious." Oprah Winfrey

I love that I have some very strong relationships and I feel that being in Connection is Most Important, most Important to me - otherwise I feel that I am wasting time or just caught up in a story or a drama.  And there is room for the story and room for drama and room for sadness and realness and human imperfection, and I want to be in a space of keeping it real.  In my relationships, of most important to me is to, be genuinely interested in each other, ask questions, listen and be in eye contact, have an open heart, deepen our understanding of the deeper meaner, the Emotional and Spiritual Journey - "What is really going on here?".  It is most important to me to feel total love and acceptance.  And this space can be challenging sometimes - even writing these words are challenging myself to look closer at my relationships with Friends and Family, to really look at the relationship.  I am Inspired in that I can grow and strengthen my relationships.  I can ask myself questions -  What is the basis of this relationship?  Is there the opportunity to strengthen the Connection? 

Or do I need to be in Labels or Analysis - instead I can just be in Acceptance and come from a place of non-judgement.  I can have a feeling of non-attachment - with no attachment of expectations or outcomes. I can also realise that all people are different and part of being in relationship is also Acceptance - Acceptance that some people may be quiet, some people may take longer to get to know, sometimes people are just tired or may not be bright and happy and friendly or interested all the time (or at any time or in the way that I naturally show up in the world).  It seems I am very Passionate about this topic, this has been an opportunity for me to look at myself, all Parts of myself - hmm... another lesson here for me - with my Yin and Yang on hand with love to support my Journey rather than stepping into a Self Critic.  My Yin reminds me that I am genuine in my Intention of wanting Connection with others and I shouldn't worry about the thoughts of others. 

I also realise that it is not just about Connections with Friends and Family.  Sometimes I can enjoy Connection and real Conversations with a colleague from work or just waiting at a coffee shop or walking across the street.  Up comes another piece to this puzzle - if I am interconnected with all people, I have a responsibility and relationship to all people.  The best I can do is be myself and be the best I can be in my relationship with others and I can be open hearted, with a genuine, open heart, always open to being in Connection with my fellow members of the human Community. 

When I say the words Connection Is Most Important - I mean Most Important to me when I am relating to others - this is true for me (and I recognise not always the Conscious wish of others).  This is one of my Core Values.  And Connection to Self is equally as important.  To me it is about Balance - I love time with others and it is also such a Priority to me to deepen my relationship with myself.  I will trust my Intuitive Yin to guide me...  

Every Day Is Precious

We are still out of hot water - I have been wishing I could enjoy a hot bath when the taps were broken, and now I am so looking forward to the luxury of a hot shower in our home.  Thankfully, we are going to my Man's Mum's home every morning, and I am very Grateful to have a hot shower.

The benefit of not having hot water is that it means I have to get out of bed a lot earlier - so I have much more time in the morning.  I talk to my Mum and my Mum tells me that if anything happens to her, that if it is sudden, that she doesn't want me to be sad - to just look after my Dad and my Brother and have a happy life with my Man.  I fight back the tears and tell my Mum that this is just another small hurdle to get over, that she is too young - that I want her to see my children.  My Mum says that if anything happens to her that she will be looking down from heaven at me and my children.  I get off the phone and I cry.

It is one of my close friend's birthdays today and I am so happy that we are able to enjoy an extra long phone Conversation - just to catch up and chat and enjoy Connection.  I love that we can talk so openly, we have a true and real friendship.  I was telling my friend that I was using the Law Of Attraction, with images of my Mum and my children.  My friend offers a helpful, meaningful suggestion, offering me the idea that this is good for me, if I find it helpful, and that I can just allow my Mum to feel whatever she wants to feel and support my Mum as best as she chooses.  I have been studying Counselling and Coaching and I "should" know all of this - just holding space, being with what is - and yet this is my Mum - I want us all to do all we can.  And yet, I just have to trust my Mum and allow and accept.  And for now I can enjoy every day I have with my Mum, every phone call, every visit, everything about my Mum that I love.  

My Mum wants me to continue with my life and live my life.  Even yesterday, I was feeling sad and fragile, after a worrying and dark night, and yet I know that I have a choice - I choose life, and I am Inspired by my Mum's Strength.  I will never forget when my Mum once said to me the following words - 

"You can kick and scream and say 'Why me?', and yet that won't make a difference, so you just have to do it."

And so today I go out into the world and continue to take steps towards my Goals.  I have been working at bringing my Yin and Yang into their maturity, a strong love affair - where I am able to  use my own Strengths and Resources, my Left and Right Side of the Brain, the two parts of me.  With my Yin and Yang in union, I am able to rely on myself to take powerful action towards my dreams.

After getting in touch with my Intuitive and Emotional Yin part of me over the weekend, I made a decision yesterday that I would let go of my permanent room booking.  My Logical, Analytical and Ordered Yang has been working hard for me - writing a list of what I do want for my Coaching space and what is important to me - and taking action by writing emails where there may be rooms available.  I am very Grateful when I go to the Physio this morning and it is agreed with the two owners that I can work for space at their Clinic, that I only have to pay when I book a Client and that there is flexibility in terms of days.  I love the Physio, as it is dynamic and energetic and I feel an aliveness - I bounce in and I feel myself. 

I was worried about advising the Bookstore that I would no longer be booking a permanent room on a Friday.  I thought about putting it off until tomorrow, and yet I knew that I had to go today - as Honesty is one of my Values, a guiding principle in my life.  Every Day Is Precious and I have a sense that I need to have this Conversation today, rather than bring this energy into tomorrow.  As I was walking towards the Bookstore, I realised that I was in a Emotional Yin space and then my Intuitive Yin realised that I needed to call on Yang - to take the time to sit and have a cup of tea, and write some points for my Conversation - so that my words would be Logical and Ordered as well as Passionate and Emotional - Head and Heart.  I have a sense of my Goddess in Power and definitely an image of my Richard Gere Businessman - drawing on these images to give me Strength and overcome my fear.  

I sit in the coffee shop and write some points that are important for me to communicate.  I write out the points and as I am a Visual person I draw an image of each point to help me remember to say everything that is important to me - this is helpful - drawing on Imagination of Yin and Order of Yang.  I meet with the Manager and tell her of my decision, also thanking her and letting her know that she has been very lovely and supportive.  I am honest and explain that I am looking for more flexibility where I can just book rooms by the hour for each Client and offer more flexibility in terms of different days and times.  I explain that I am looking for a room that offers more natural lighting.  I offer that I do not want to close the door as I believe there may be other opportunities, particularly for Group Coaching.  I also tell her about my Mum - I tell her that this is not the reason, as I will continue to focus on my Business, and yet it will be important to have more space available in my life.

Tonight I am feeling a sense of relief that I do not have a room booked on a certain day every week, where I had a feeling that I was just setting up my room and sitting there waiting for Clients - now I can be more active in promoting my Coaching Business, allowing Space for my Mum, and Space for Spontaneity (I say this to my friend today and she loves this 'Space for Spontaneity' - my friend encourages me to run a Workshop on this topic).

I feel happy that with Self-Confidence I ring a Prospective Client, and email my Client Form.  I feel my Yin and Yang are working together - I am following the Intuition of Yin and yet Yang is becoming a powerful force in terms of Strength and Confidence and using my Business Skills and taking ACTION.

I am also happy that I was talking to the Owner of a local cafe today, and with Confidence and Convinction I asked if I could run a Promotion.  We had a quick Brainstorm and she is more than happy for me to put together a draft of the idea and if she gains approval from Head of the Franchise, then she will happily give out the Competition Entry with every coffee.  I am Excited!  This idea was not part of a Marketing Plan - I loved that the idea just came to me and I seized the moment and asked about the possibility.  I love my Yin and Yang - by being Consciously Aware of these two parts of me, I am able to bring out the best in me in bringing my dreams to life.   

While I was in the coffee shop, there were a precious few minutes where I was Witness to a beautiful interaction of a down syndrome young woman and another young woman who has a mental and physical disability.  Their carer was in line waiting for a beverage and I was just watching the friendship and joy and laughter and love between these two young women, where the down syndrome young woman was hugging the other woman in the wheelchair and they were laughing and having what appeared to be a great time.  And then seeing the interaction of the carer with these two young women, she was also amazing.  Wow, Life Is Precious!  Every Day Is Precious.

Every day with my Mum is Precious.  When I write these words, I have a sense of a stillness, definitely a sadness, definitely an Awareness that I do not know what the future holds.

And I am Committed to being True and Authentic and making the best of every day.  I am Grateful for my every day.  I am going to try my very best to not worry about the future or worry about what might happen -  this worrying takes my energy away from the Joy of life right now, the potential for Joy.  Every Day Is Precious, and I am going to be present and treasure every beautiful moment, especially every moment with my Mum.  We do not know what the future holds or what is around the corner - and yet we have NOW, right NOW, right NOW today, right NOW in this moment. 

My Man must have read my thoughts... he just came over and gave me a big kiss...