Connection Is Most Important

Through getting to know my Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine and in their coming together, I have come to a place of Self-Love, I feel that I have Inner Resources to help me on a daily basis.  I feel more Self-Reliant, where I can depend on myself to achieve my Goals.  And yet I also believe it to be true, that people need people, we need each other. 

It reminds me of the quote "No man is an island..." - I Google the quote by John Donne - Meditation XVII "All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

When I read these words I do believe that people are social beings and they cannot live entirely alone or in isolation.  I love the movie 'Castaway' with Tom Hanks, where he makes a friend from his volley ball - in the movie Wilson is a real and true friend.  Hanks has said that in studying survivors of various situations he found that they need someone to talk to (as much as they need fire and water) and if they don't have someone, they create them.

I am Honoured to be a Coach in that for many people this offers an opportunity for Connection, for real Conversations, for people to be real and honest and speak from their heart.  Even as I write these words I  have a feeling that this is my favourite place, where I am in real Connection with others.  I read these words in 'Soulcraft', "Soul initiation transforms our lives by the power of the truth at the centre of our Soul image.  Embracing that truth results in a radical simplification of our lives.  Activities and relationships not supportive of our Soul purpose begin to fall away.  Our former agendas are discarded, half-completed projects abandoned.  Many old problems are not solved but outgrown.  Old ways of presenting and defending ourselves become less appealing, and less necessary."    

John Donne was also communicating that all mankind is interconnected - I believe that this is so true.  Perhaps that is why I don't enjoy watching the news or reading newspapers (very often) - there is so much sadness and human suffering - I cannot watch it without feeling pain for those fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters.  I can relate to the words in 'Soulcraft' about feeling a Connection to all people and to Nature, "...pathways to Soul stimulate a deep bonding, not just between people but also between humans and the other beings of nature.  Bonding across the species boundaries help us overcome the conflicts and disparities between Nature and culture and within human culture itself.  By deepening our identification with all life-forms, with ecosystems, and with the planet herself, we begin to discover within us what deep ecologist Arne Naess calls the 'ecological self' or what James Hillman calls 'a psyche the size of the earth' - the broader and deeper self that is a natural member in the more-than-human community."

Being in Connection with others when it is real and heartfelt is wonderful.  It is through relationship that we can Value and Encourage and Love each other. I am delighted when I get two emails from friends and a positive and happy email from a past Client.  I love when I feel in Connection with others.

And when I don't feel Connection with others, this also teaches me something about myself - my desire for Connection is strong and so my internal reaction is strong - I just want to be real and have real  Conversations.  My Teacher was saying one weekend in College (I can't remember her exact words) that we are meant to be in relation to each other - that we only see ourselves and find ourselves when we are in relationship to others.  When we love something about someone, we love that capacity within ourselves. - I love when seeing the lady at work Excited and talking about the photos of her daughter from their overseas trip, and also hearing my Man's Mum talk about her holiday.  And then when I have an internal reaction to someone (someone pushing my buttons) this is usually a signal that we are disowning a part of ourselves, there may be a part of ourselves in the Shadow.  By being a Witness to myself, I find it interesting to realise that there is a lesson in her for me.  Such as when my Judge part of me comes onto the stage and I am judging someone else for being a Judge, it makes me look at areas in my life where this may be playing out.  With my Yin and Yang on hand I can bring my own Shadow Parts into the light, and also be in acceptance of Self and acceptance of others.

Being in relationship is very important to me.  I love the strong Connection with my Mum and Dad - I love talking to them every day.  I love that I can have real and heartfelt Conversations with them.  Of course, I love talking to my Man - even though we enjoy our own time and interests, I feel we have a strong and loving Connection - and I am Grateful.  Spending time with my Brother and Sister-In-Law and my three beautiful Nieces is always a top priority for me.  And now I am also hoping to build a stronger Connection with my Man's Family.

Tonight I talk to a close friend.  We do not see each other very often and yet we are very close.  This beautiful woman showed me her true friendship when she would come and sit with me and just sit and share space, when I was in a deep, dark place.  It is a very long time ago - and yet I will always remember the difference she made in my life through her unconditional love and caring.  Tonight we talk on the phone, I feel in Connection with my true friend, and I tell her that I will always be Grateful for just coming and sitting with me.  This experience taught me the importance of keeping it real and the importance of a true friend.

True friends are important to me.  Especially now as I am entering a new phase in my life.  Connection Is Most Important to me - real, heartfelt Conversations and believing in each other, encouraging each other, seeing the beauty and greatness in one another.  I am blessed to experience Connection with many of my wonderful College friends - although my life feels very separate to them - and yet I feel they are my Soul Sisters.

I bought a new book last Saturday (another book - I love books) - 'Where will you be five years from today?' by Dan Zadra and I read these words tonight -

"Surround yourself with people who believe you can.

By all means, share your goals - 

but only share them with people

who can help you attain them.

Benchmark test for choosing friends:

Will spending time with this person drag me down or life me up?

Will he or she make me want to be a better person?

A happier person?  A more successful person?  

Will he or she help me achieve my most important goals?

If not, find friends who will."

And then this quote is also included - "One of my best moves is to surround myself with friends who, instead of asking, 'Why?' are quick to say, 'Why not?' That attitude is contagious." Oprah Winfrey

I love that I have some very strong relationships and I feel that being in Connection is Most Important, most Important to me - otherwise I feel that I am wasting time or just caught up in a story or a drama.  And there is room for the story and room for drama and room for sadness and realness and human imperfection, and I want to be in a space of keeping it real.  In my relationships, of most important to me is to, be genuinely interested in each other, ask questions, listen and be in eye contact, have an open heart, deepen our understanding of the deeper meaner, the Emotional and Spiritual Journey - "What is really going on here?".  It is most important to me to feel total love and acceptance.  And this space can be challenging sometimes - even writing these words are challenging myself to look closer at my relationships with Friends and Family, to really look at the relationship.  I am Inspired in that I can grow and strengthen my relationships.  I can ask myself questions -  What is the basis of this relationship?  Is there the opportunity to strengthen the Connection? 

Or do I need to be in Labels or Analysis - instead I can just be in Acceptance and come from a place of non-judgement.  I can have a feeling of non-attachment - with no attachment of expectations or outcomes. I can also realise that all people are different and part of being in relationship is also Acceptance - Acceptance that some people may be quiet, some people may take longer to get to know, sometimes people are just tired or may not be bright and happy and friendly or interested all the time (or at any time or in the way that I naturally show up in the world).  It seems I am very Passionate about this topic, this has been an opportunity for me to look at myself, all Parts of myself - hmm... another lesson here for me - with my Yin and Yang on hand with love to support my Journey rather than stepping into a Self Critic.  My Yin reminds me that I am genuine in my Intention of wanting Connection with others and I shouldn't worry about the thoughts of others. 

I also realise that it is not just about Connections with Friends and Family.  Sometimes I can enjoy Connection and real Conversations with a colleague from work or just waiting at a coffee shop or walking across the street.  Up comes another piece to this puzzle - if I am interconnected with all people, I have a responsibility and relationship to all people.  The best I can do is be myself and be the best I can be in my relationship with others and I can be open hearted, with a genuine, open heart, always open to being in Connection with my fellow members of the human Community. 

When I say the words Connection Is Most Important - I mean Most Important to me when I am relating to others - this is true for me (and I recognise not always the Conscious wish of others).  This is one of my Core Values.  And Connection to Self is equally as important.  To me it is about Balance - I love time with others and it is also such a Priority to me to deepen my relationship with myself.  I will trust my Intuitive Yin to guide me...