Stop

Stop - that's what I need to do when I decide to eat chocolate.  I have to Stop eating chocolate!

Growing up I loved chocolate.  It was always a special treat on the day my Mum went shopping, where she would buy a block of chocolate or we would get some dairy milk rolls as a special treat.  And then at school, I loved eating strawberry freddos.  I always liked chocolate.  And then I became super serious with my running, and for a long time, maybe around 5-7 years, I didn't eat any chocolate or any sugar or any cakes or any treats.  I loved that I was so disciplined and I felt healthy in some ways - and in other ways my diet was so extreme that it was stressful, especially since I was also vegan.

And so I started becoming more flexible with my diet.  Now my preference is vegetarian, although I do eat fish.  And since I met My Man I started eating Lindt chocolate.  And yet the truth is that even though I like chocolate, every time I eat it, I feel sick.  I thought that it may be me feeling guilty that I was eating chocolate and yet I eat it so rarely that I do not feel guilty - I just feel sick.  I eat chocolate, I definitely enjoy the chocolate, and then within a short period of time I get a headache, stomach ache and my legs start aching - I then lie in bed feeling sick.  And often the next day I wake up with a chocolate hangover - feeling heavy and tired and sick.  And I know all of this, and I still, from time to time, maybe once a week or once a fortnight, decide to eat chocolate.

The last two nights I have had chocolate.  And it might not sound like a big deal, considering I don't eat chocolate very much - yet it is a big deal, given that it makes me feel sick - I feel that I am allergic to something in chocolate - and I know it, and I still eat it.  The good news is, that I haven't really had much chocolate since Christmas, and so I know it is not an addiction and I know I can give it up - and I want to Stop eating it - to best look after my Self.

And I am aware that eating chocolate or sweets can often be linked to our emotional state - and I have definitely had two huge and challenging days at work - and I am conscious of eating chocolate - and often it is because I like the taste, and then the delight is very quickly replaced with regret.

I've been reading 'The Best Year Of Your Life' by Debbie Ford, an amazing book, and I love the poem by Portia Nelson, which illustrates how we "keep engaging in the same behaviours over and over again".

- "I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street."


I love this poem.  I feel Inspired when I read the words.  And I could definitely relate to the words, particularly for previous relationships that did not serve me.  And now for chocolate.  It makes no sense to me why I continue to eat chocolate, even if it is only every now and then, when it moves me away from my preferred happy and healthy Self - and so I am making the commitment to Stop.

My Strategy is to make sure I pause before taking a piece of chocolate, and in that moment I will imagine a Stop sign - as well as projecting forward and remembering how unwell I will be if I eat the chocolate. 

I am also Excited that I am getting married in 8.5 weeks and I also plan to Visualise my Self in my Yellow Dress, as I want to feel my best.  As we are also trying for a baby, which is SO important to me, I am also planning to imagine keeping my body healthy and strong for our beautiful baby.

By writing this Post, I am showing all of me, including my imperfections  - which is interesting, as I have continued to eat chocolate every now and then so that I am not being so strict on my Self and not being too perfect.  In Coaching, I am often on the look out for the Perfectionist Part of my Clients that sabotage Self-Esteem and can affect our achieving of our Dreams - and yet I need to get real - eating chocolate does not serve me.  I am using this Space to detail my Goal of not eating any chocolate at all anymore, and to also hold my Self Accountable to my Self.

Of course I have also asked My Man for support and asked him not to offer me any chocolate or buy me any chocolate, and to also tackle me if I make my way to the fridge to have some of his chocolate.  Time for me to be focused and Stop.  It's that simple.  And instead of chocolate I will choose a peppermint tea which I always enjoy and makes me feel relaxed and at peace.

Happy Days

I have been having some very Happy Days in the last week - new adventures, catching up with friends and finally a day at the beach -yay!!! 

After having a relaxing holiday, plenty of relaxation and sleep I headed up the Coast to visit my great friends who have recently moved to a new home.  For over a year now my friends have had a Vision to live on land and be self-sufficient, growing their own food, water tanks, solar power, remote location, no financial pressure - this has been their dream.  And how great to see them living their Vision.  My Man and I have been planning this trip up the Coast for months and after him hurting his back playing golf, I decided to venture on my own.  I met my friends in their nearest town Wingham - and how great to see them.  After getting our shopping and some local sightseeing, I was happy to drive to their home and wow, I was amazed, they live up a Mountain, right in the middle of over 500 acres of bushland - they call their home Paradise Mountain.  Once we were at the home, I couldn't believe the beautiful views in every direction - truly Paradise.

They have a Rooster called Bruce, chickens and 200 varieties of fruit trees (WOW!!!) and a permaculture garden - lucky for them, the previous owner is a horticulturist and so he has done so much.  There is such diversity in the vegetation - I enjoyed white strawberries and also heard about the unusual fruit and seeds such as an ice cream bean that tastes like ice cream, as well as so many other delights.

I loved spending time with my friends - they are great company and I felt Inspired by their lifestyle - quite incredible - their wood oven heats the water for the shower and washing up and they have beautiful fresh rainwater,  their lights are all solarpowered and they also have water from the freshwater creek for watering their gardens - no water or electricity bills and they are definitely committed to doing their bit for Mother Earth.  I loved that there was no television - silence - I loved the silence - I love silence!

I also loved our trip to Ellenborough Falls - this is one of the largest single-drop waterfalls in the southern hemisphere.  We enjoyed a nice walk down to the bottom of the waterfall - beautiful, breathtaking!!!  

A few members of our group headed down to the rocks and enjoyed the spray from the waterfall.  I would have liked to be spontaneous and adventurous but my common sense and fear of slipping on the rocks won and I stood on the sideline.  However, I was so hot walking back up the stairs, on the return  up the  valley, that I wished I had have taken the chance to go for a swim in one of the rock pools.  It was a big effort walking back up all the stairs - thank goodness for the seats along the way - we took every opportunity to sit down and rest and then gather our strength for the next round of steps.  Once upon a time, what seems like a lifetime ago now, I would have been racing up those stairs.  It was a great day with friends.

I look forward to other adventures in the countryside of my friends' new home, many more Happy Days to be enjoyed - next time we will enjoy the walk to their creek, there is a local vineyard, also a nearby cheese factory, and I am really excited to visit their nearest beach which I have been told has the most beautiful stones (and I have seen some of their collection).

Talking about the beach - another of my very Happy Days this week was when My Man and I went for a nice long walk along our local beach and enjoyed such a great swim at Darook Beach.  I love the ocean.  I love warm sunny days.  I just love being in Nature.  I especially love floating on my back in the water - love it!!!  I didn't take my camera and it was nice being so Present to the day - I love my camera and love taking photos and sometimes it seems that you miss being in the moment, sometimes.  And how great that I found this great picture on the internet - this is Darook - it is a beautiful paradise.

I definitely look forward to many more Happy Days just enjoying our local beach.  It is one of my greatest joys.

And so after a few weeks holiday it was back to work today.  I have really enjoyed having a rest - sleeping in, sometimes even having an afternoon nap - just time to relax - I couldn't believe how tired I have been over the last few weeks.  And yet today, I was happy to get up early so that I could enjoy some "me time", some quiet time, before heading to work.  I was organised in allowing time to snooze my alarm clock twice, enjoyed some quiet time reading inspiration for about 5 minutes and then went Walking to the Bay, one of my favourite places.  I love being outdoors - even when it started pouring rain and I had no umbrella, I felt happy to just be alive and out enjoying the start to the day.  I realise that it would be easy to sleep in, usually this is a much easier option and yet by making a Commitment to get up and get out before work, I can have the best chance of having Happy Days.

On my walk today I was thinking about thoughts and our ability to change our thoughts.  I am usually conscious of not getting caught up in my thoughts when I am out in Nature (as I do not want to miss the beauty that surrounds me), usually only allowing myself a certain part of the walk or a set time to allow thinking, although always open for inspiration.  I was thinking that it would be easy for me to not have a happy day at work, especially since my Team Leading role is separate to my lifework of being a Life Coach - and yet I can choose positive, happy thoughts.

I was reflecting that my thoughts are not me, they are just a perception.  And from my own experience and witnessing this in others, I see how negative thoughts just attracts more negativity - more negative thoughts or negative people - contributing to us feeling lousy, unhappy, powerless.  And I am on a mission to have Happy Days and so I came up with an easy acronym for a process to help put negative thoughts at an arm's length away:

A - Awareness - Being an observer to my thoughts can help me identify if I am being negative or holding thoughts that do not serve me - I may not speak these thoughts but even internally thinking them is keeping my mind busy and not bringing me peace.  Sometimes just an Awareness of my thoughts, "hmm, that's interesting..." can be enough to allow me to move on in a different direction, without any negative thoughts attaching to other thoughts.  The key for me is to not be caught up thinking or overthinking, the Goal for me is to be present in the moment.

R - Reframe - With recurring thoughts that do not serve me, I can Reframe them, look at it from another angle - what is another way I can think about this person, person's behaviour, situation?  I can think of at least 5 other explanations or possibilities?  I can reframe the negative thoughts to have a positive spin - at least for 2-3 new thoughts - by moving to a positive thought - positivity attracts positivity

M - ME - "If it's to be, it's up to ME" - What is in my Power?  What can I change?  I love the Serenity Prayer, "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference".  I can reflect what is the message for me and what choices do I have to make changes within my sphere of control - this allows me to feel empowered.

- Acceptance - perhaps I can just accept this situation and let this go from my worrying and overthinking
- Alteration - I can choose a pattern breaker to alter my thoughts that are not serving me - for example, every time I have a thought that is not serving me, such as thinking about a past issue that I cannot change, I can image a bright red STOP sign to help me stop thinking these thoughts

- Affirmation - I can say a positive affirmation to strengthen new beliefs 

- Action - perhaps I can speak to someone or change something to make this situation or relationship better
- Attitude - I can choose to look at the positives and as I look at the situation in a new positive light, I will begin to gather evidence that will support these new thoughts, with the Reticular Activating System in my brain activated to support me (a good example of when the RAS is activated is when you may buy a new car - let's say a Ford Focus - your friend suggests this car to you, you buy one, and then you see them so often, much more than you ever noticed them before, it seems that a lot of new people have also just bought this new car - actually your RAS is just activated so that your attention is alerted) - so I can choose to say I enjoy my work and I will begin to see evidence that supports this belief.

I love that in Positive Psychology in defining Happiness, for a rich and meaningful life, this will involve a range of different emotions and I love that I have learnt to sit with the depth and darkness of pain and sorrow and be so present to joy in my life.  And I also believe I can be active in having Happy Days, whether that involves a walk in Nature, or simply me choosing how I choose to look at every day.  I don't want to waste my days or life, just feeling that I am in Groundhog Day or "I hate Mondays" or "I hate work" - I intend to Love My Life and be Grateful for all of the Gifts in my life.  A ritual that I love, that I intend to make time for every night, is to name 3-5 things that I am Grateful for from my day and it is important for me to thank God and Spirit - to be Grateful to God and Spirit - to pray, to reflect, to rejoice.

So here's to many and most Happy Days in 2011!!!

Step By Step Towards My Goal

I lay in bed hearing the wind, suspecting it was raining - I was tired, feeling that it would be nice to sleep a little bit longer - so I hit the snooze button... twice.  Of course, I had pre-planned the extra time, just in case I needed snooze time.  Isn't that a good thing - knowing ourselves and being prepared for the obstacles.  I am happy to report that I was up and out of bed before the second snooze alarm sounded - that made me feel good.  Isn't it the little things that are the BIG things - and it is important to give ourselves a pat on the back.  Especially since it sounded so cold outside - it would have been easy to make up an excuse to sleep longer.

I am glad that I have the Goal to run - it definitely makes me feel excited!!  I make the bed as soon as I get up - less chance of being enticed back to slumber.  I have a Goal.  I have made a commitment.  Now I have to exercise my willpower and dedication to stick with the plan.

Out the door I run, it is windy, cold and cloudy, but I am happy to see the rainfall has stopped.  I am also happy to feel focused.  This morning I had visualised the run in my mind's eye - now I am just putting into action what I know is achieveable - the main goal is to run longer than Monday's run.  My main priority is to keep increasing the time Running - just Step By Step Towards My Goal. 

I am finding running easier, although anytime that it seems a bit tough I just repeat my affirmation to myself - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can - and I just keep running.  It is low tide and I am drawn to run along the beach - this was not the original plan, or the run I went on yesterday - but I decide to be flexible - as long as I beat Monday's 17 minutes.  I give myself permission to go in a new direction.  Running along the beach is challenging, very challenging - running in the sand is okay but the wind is strong, pushing me back, making it hard to move forward - at times I feel I am making no new ground, but I keep running - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can - I challenge myself - just focus on the seaweed, I say to myself - and once I am there, I nominate another milestone - Step By Step Towards My Goal.  At this time, it would be easy to give up, noone is watching, noone would know, what would it matter - but I don't entertain these thoughts - I can't imagine having these thoughts - this matters to me - this is about my Goal. 

I run as far as I can go, and have to turn around as the ocean is blocking access, so I turn back and am led to run up an alley of stairs, back to the street - this is tough - I keep repeating my affirmation and I find it gives me strength and focus to keep going - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can.  And then I am back in a familiar street and find myself facing another hill - another hill to climb, the hill from Monday - it is a tough hill.  I decide to approach the hill by just taking one step at a time, just watching the small space in front of my feet, not looking too far ahead, just Step By Step Towards My Goal. 

When I reach the top of the hill I am once again rapt - and I silently congratulate myself and keep on running - I am getting tired - yet I keep running - I decide my target time is 22 minutes, 5 minutes more than Monday's run - so I check the time on the phone and see I have a few minutes left - and I am tired - yet, rather than dragging my feet I decide to give this my best effort, I check my core, and make sure I am running tall (it's amazing that a change in posture can change the whole feeling within - I should mention my physio Aideen who has made me so conscious, in a positive way, of improving my posture -thank you).  I pick up the pace and race - I nominate a tree as the finish line, and I just go for it!!  And I feel great!!  Exhausted - but so great - as I have achieved today's Goal - and most importantly I have tried my best, I have given my all. 

I am feeling happy with my achievement.  I have always kept up my walking - yet running makes me feel like I am really exercising - I just love to run.  I have a framed running poster that I just love - it has a picture of a runner and then the following quote - I can relate to these words -

"The Essence of Running
Running is a road to self-awareness and reliance …

you can push yourself to extremes and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations
or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet.
But when you are through, exhilarated and exhausted,
at least for a moment everything seems right with the world…"

I then enjoy a leisurely walk home and I am fascinated by the seagulls.  They must be having a conference down at Cronulla - there are about 40 seagulls, gathered together on the beach, just near the water.  I have been quietly observing the behaviour of seagulls - just an observation a few times when I have been out walking - what I notice is that sometimes they stay with the group, sometimes they walk off on their own, sometimes they are off searching, other times they are just still and just silently stay, other times they run along, many times they fly, they fly and then they stop and rest... looks like they are just doing what feels natural to them at the time.  I realise that I can choose to be like a seagull, I can make it okay to be like a seagull - I don't have to fly all the time, or run around, or focus on busily searching - sometimes I can just relax and be still. 

How much we can learn from nature -

"Nature is an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in." George Washington Carver (1864-1943)

Of course I easily forget about the silence and stillness - as I get busy walking back home, busily in my mind, thinking, thinking, thinking.  It is only when I get a pull from my intuition, that makes me look back, that I realise I have walked past the Tree that was cut down - I then realise that there were actually 6 Trees cut down yesterday - again I feel saddened.  I also realise how easy it is to get caught up thinking, in the mind, thinking about the past, planning for the future, that I am not always present to the now - and I totally missed giving honour to the Trees that are important to me - just because I was busy in my mind.  Apart from my running Goal I am also in the journey of learning to be in the now and embrace the present and be able to set aside my mind to just 'be'.  I really like these words - Being in the moment involves giving maximum appreciation and love to your present experience."  Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart

This was just 1 hour of my day - running and walking - and it was such a precious part of my day.  In honouring myself and staying true to my commitments, plus all the energy that comes from exercise, I felt like I was ready for my day - able to go to work, talk to my family, enjoy quality time with my boyfriend.  I feel like I have energy to give, I am able to Spread The Yellow.

And I am always grateful to those in my life who Spread TheYellow to me - my boyfriend (gets a mention, as always) for sending me a lovely text message and for taking me out for dinner tonight to our favourite restaurant, my friend Aideen for her acknowledgement and for sharing her stories of how she naturally, so easily, can Spread The Yellow to her clients - and I also want to acknowledge my Operations Manager at my work for being thoughtful and giving us all Easter Eggs.  I am very grateful for the wonderful people in my life - thank you for being a witness as I am putting my dreams into action.