I feel love. I feel loved. Lying in bed this morning I put on my Meditation music and allow images to float into my mind's eye. I have a sense of my Yin and my Yang walking together hand in hand - these two parts of me loving and supporting each other, loving and supporting me.
I wonder what is different about me now - now that I am Consciously being a Witness to my Yin and Yang. I definitely have an Awareness of an internal dialogue, relationship, Union, love between my Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine parts of me. Their coming together has made me feel whole, complete within, I am more Confident and I have a greater sense of Value of myself.
I feel that my Yin and Yang are now equal partners in a loving relationship. This has been an incredible and worthwhile and life changing Journey and opportunity. When I started this Journey they were just children, playing together, getting to know each other - similar to the friendship in "
My Girl" and definitely making me remember back to when I was just a child with my child bestfriend.
In this childhood phase, this is when I first felt the Creative Tension between my Yin and Yang - where there was time to play with this new way of being - feeling into my Intuition and then my Yang following the lead of my Yin.
And then I had a feeling of my Yin and Yang in a teenage relationship, where my Yin had a crush on her Yang (especially as my Yin was really starting to like her Yang) - and then they enjoyed a first kiss, their first love - they were highschool sweethearts - like in the movie "
Sixteen Candles". I also looked back on a photo of me when I was a teenager and I remember when I was going out to a school disco, all dressed up, hoping to meet a boy (I have always been a Romantic and in search of love).
During this teenager phase in my process of getting to know my Yin and Yang, I felt that it was just a teenage crush and my Yin and Yang were still just getting to know each other. And then came my Commitment to true love, with me having a desire to strengthen this relationship of Yin and Yang.
I feel my Yin and Yang in partnership now - noone is in charge, they work together. My Yang does sit patiently and wait for his Beloved Yin, and he still lets her know he is there, eager for ACTION. As my Preference is Yin, I have in the past abandoned my Yang - and yet now, I am so fortunate to discover my Yang Strengths, Abilities, Capabilities and Capacities.
When I was sitting at the Doctor's Clinic waiting for my Appointment yesterday to present my Coaching Business, I did not feel nervous, or alone - I felt like I was being supported from my Yin and Yang. Even as I write this paragraph, this is HUGE for me, as even though I have enjoyed time on my own and I enjoy my own company, there have often been times when I have felt alone and that I needed someone to be beside me, keep me company, support me, to sit with me at home on the lounge or be beside me if I was going to an appointment. Now I have found myself.
I have loved listening to so many love songs over the last 7 weeks and revisiting them in the last couple of days. Shania Twain's song "From This Moment On" was my wedding song, the song I danced with my ex-husband - now I feel such Self-Love when I hear these words - like I am singing these words to myself.
I also love the words and this clip of "I Won't Leave You Lonely" - I love the images on the clip, Shania Twain is so beautiful and a Goddess - and when I listen to the music I once again feel myself singing these words to myself -
I am so fortunate to be loved unconditionally by my Man and my Family and I love to be showered in love and hugs by my Nieces, and yet now I have such a sense of Self-Love, that no matter what happens in my life, I have myself. I have a sense of inner Strengths and Resources within my Yin and Yang parts of me that can support and help me as lifeskills - and I have a sense of my Yin loving her Yang man and my Yang totally there for my Yin (with encouraging love and self-talk), my Yang singing me this song -
I look back over the last decade in my life to get a sense of what was happening for me - this is interesting:
- 2000 - Unhappy, lost, stressed, lonely - cover up and try to hold it together with a mask - then I find joy in running - and I search for a partner
- 2002 - Get married, marry a nice man, the wrong man - thinking that I will be happy
- 2003 - Lonely, lose my sense of self, I don't recognise the signs and I have a sense that I have no options and I fall into a deep, dark, depression, I do not value myself or my life
- 2005 - Start a new job, find confidence, feel fulfilled - my job in Training and Motivation of Teams brings out the best in me - both my Yin and Yang were working well together
- 2005-2009 - A series of unhealthy relationships - always in search of true love
- 2008 - With a change in the Company I move to a new Company - I thought I was happy - and yet the best part of the job was that it allowed flexibility for my Study
- 2009 - Meet my Man - experience unconditional love
- February 2010 - I am made redundant from my Job - the Universe clearly has other plans for me - in looking back my job was very Yang and I would often go into my Shadows of Overthinker, Stressed, Loner, Seeker of Positive Reinforcement - it did not bring out my best
- March 2010 - After being made redundant I loved being in my Yin, abandoned my business corporate part of me - just loved being with Nature, in my Imagination, drawing, creating, freedom, space for spontaneity
- APRIL-MAY 2010 - I REDISCOVER MY YIN AND YANG - I DISCOVER MYSELF - I EXPERIENCE SELF-LOVE - May it be the start of a long and forever Journey of Unconditional Self-Love.
So now I have this new Awareness and this strong Union of my Yin and Yang - Where to now?
I refer back to my College notes on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I feel that in understanding my Yin and Yang and my way forward - this is an important part of the puzzle, explaining "what energises, directs and sustains human behaviour."
http://www.edpsycinteractive.org/topics/regsys/maslow.html
In terms of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
http://www.businessballs.com/maslow.htm "Each of us is motivated by needs. Our most basic needs are inborn, having evolved over tens of thousands of years. Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs helps to explain how these needs motivate us all. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs states that we must satisfy each need in turn, starting with the first, which deals with the most obvious needs for survival itself. Only when the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied are we concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personal development. Conversely, if the things that satisfy our lower order needs are swept away, we are no longer concerned about the maintenance of our higher order needs."
I feel that my Needs on 6 of these Levels are being met, and yet it is interesting that when I have had a sense of a possible deficiency, this caused me to act or react, with my fear and Shadow parts of myself coming on stage. Last week when I was confused about no longer continuing with the booking of a permanent space, I had some fears around finances and I was also feeling a sense of separation - and I went into Overthinker, Overwhelm and Loner Shadows. And yet by then being intouch with my Yin, I was able to get my Yang to act for me - the events of the week gave me the opportunity to be honest and true and make some adjustments to make this work for me. I also now have a sense of Connection and Belonging at the Bookstore - and I am Excited that I was able to bring my Creativity of my Yin and Focus of my Yang to put together an advertisement that will be placed in the Bookstore's Newsletter. And I am also Excited by the opportunity to work with Clients at my friend's Physiotherapy. I am also happy that through the Creative process and being in touch with my Yin, I was able to realise that it is not about the rooms - of most importance is the Connection and Power in the Coaching Relationship and that I can bring my light to any space.
I am pleased that some fears and Shadow parts of me did surface - as it allowed me the opportunity for Self-Development, learning from a potential mistake. Of most importance for me is continuing to be an Observer to myself. I have a Commitment to build the Strengths and love of my Yin and Yang and to practice these positive new habits of these parts working together rather than discarding each other. I am happy that my Blog helps me to Reflect daily on my Wins, my Challenges and my opportunities for Growth - and even allows an Honesty and Authenticity where I can be a Witness to my fears and notice my Shadows when they come to the surface. I also realise the importance of not always rushing in and making Decisions - I am bringing in a Check In, a question to ask myself before I make a Final Decision - "Are you sure? Take the time to Check In" - and really taking the time to Check In with both Yin and Yang and making sure that my Decision is not based on fear or the acting out of the Shadow parts of me.
I am happy that I have recently put my Values on a piece of Art paper that I have placed on the wall for me to see when I wake up in the morning. These help me in setting my Intentions and getting my Yin and Yang to work together to help me live a life based on my Values. I am finding that my Yin and Yang are working together with my Health Goals, where I am cooking more healthy and vegetarian meals which has been a Goal for a long time. I am also getting my Yang to help me be more Ordered at home, and less cluttered. I am also currently getting Yin and Yang together to help me with my Goal of starting Yoga which I have been talking about for 1 year. My Yang has been collecting timetables and researching classes and my Yin felt into the Studio that feels right and when being in the flow, I was able to meet a Yoga Teacher and ask her about my back. I have now found a class that will suit me - and I have made a Commitment, a Promise to myself that I will go to the class this week.
One of the questions being asked by my Teacher in relation to the Yin-Yang Project is "How are you affecting your 'mastery of being' and self-actualization within this creative process?" I decide to look at where I am at with all of the eight levels of the Hierarchy of Needs, where I am at - and I find a great Self Test
- Biological Needs - "Aside from dieting and personal choice, I never starve through lack of food, nor lack of money to buy food. Aside from the usual trauma of moving house, I have no worry about having somewhere to live - I have a room over my head'." YES
- Safety Needs - "I generally feel safe and secure - job, home, etc - and protected from harm. My life generally has routine and structure - long periods of uncontrollable chaos are rare or non-existent." - YES - this is true for me - and this is why I made the choice of getting a part-time job so that from a place of security, and without stress or desperation I could build my Coaching Business
- Belongingness and Love Needs - "I am part of, and loved by, my family. I have good relationships with my friends and colleagues - they accept me for who I am." - YES - this is true for me
- Esteem Needs - "I am successful in life and/ or work, and I'm recognised by my peers for being so. I'm satisfied with the responsibility and role that I have in my life and/ or work, my status and reputation, and my level of self-esteem." - DEFINITELY YES - experiencing the falling of love of my Yin and Yang has allowed me to experience high self-esteem and Self-Love
- Cognitive Needs - "Improving my self-awareness is one of my top priorities. The pursuit of knowledge and meaning of things, other than is necessary for my work, is extremely important to me." - YES - this has always been important to me
- Aesthetic Needs - "Above mostly everything else, I actively seek beauty, form and balance in things around me. My interest in beautiful culture and the arts is central to me" - Hmm - Yes - although I am not very materialistic, I definitely love the beauty in the world, the beauty in Nature and I do love art and colour
And now for the top two areas that are explained as:
- Self-Actualisation Needs - "My aim is self-knowledge and enlightenment. The most important thing to me is realising my ultimate personal potential. I seek and welcome 'peak' experiences."
- Transcendence Needs - "The most important thing to me is helping others to reach their ultimate potential, whatever that may be, even at my expense."
I definitely have a sense of experiencing and being driven by these two Needs and I am definitely Inspired to develop further so as to fulfil these Needs - to continue to Consciously work with my Yin and Yang and the Creative Tension between them. I am Excited that I find a great link - a Self Test about Self-Actualisation - this one involves Scaling, which I really like, it helps me see where I am at, and create a Vision for where I would like to be -
http://www.selfcounseling.com/help/personalsuccess/selfactualization.html
Here is the Test and my responses (I choose a rating based on how I am feeling today, being so in touch with my Yin-Yang Journey) -
"Listed below are a series of 16 characteristics of a self-actualising individual as described by Abraham Maslow. Self-actualising here is defined as a person who is in the process of fulfilling their potential. After slowly and thoroughly reading each characteristic, rate yourself on the scale listed below that characteristic from 1 to 10. Your results will give you both a linear and intuitive representation of your strength and weaknesses in moving towards being a self-actualising person. Spend some time focusing on why you are stronger in some characteristics than others. What is it that has given you a higher score? What might you do to make your score higher on any given characteristic. The highest total you can receive is 160 points. How close are you?"
"1. The self-actualised person has more efficient perception of reality and more comfortable relations with it. They can accept the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, and he can tell the difference.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (6)
2. Acceptance of self, others, and nature. The self-actualising person sees reality as it is and accepts responsibility for it. They are as objective as a subjective being can be in their perceptions.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (7)
3. The self-actualising person has spontaneity, simplicity and naturalness. In other words, this kind of person is not hung up on being as others think he should be. They are a person who is capable of doing what feels good and natural for themself simply because that’s how they feels. They do not try to hurt others, but they have respect for what is good for themself.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (7)
4. Problem Centring. The self-actualising person is someone who is generally strongly focused on problems outside of themself. They are concerned with the problems of others and the problems of society, and are willing to work to try to alleviate those difficulties.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (7)
5. The quality for detachment, the need for privacy. For all their social mindedness, the self-actualising person has a need to be by themself or a need for solitude. They enjoys times for quiet reflection and don’t always need people around them. They can be with the few people that they would be close to and not need to communicate with them. Their presence is sufficient in and of itself.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
6. Autonomy, independence of culture and environment. The self-actualising person is capable of doing things for themself and making decisions on their own. They believe in who and what they are.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (7)
7. Continued freshness or appreciation. The self-actualising person experiences a joy in the simple and the natural. Sunsets are always beautiful and they seek them out. They can still enjoy playing the games they played as a child and having fun in some of the same ways they did many years before.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10)
8. The mystic experience, the peak experience. Self-actualising people usually have experiences in which they literally feel they are floating. They feel very much in tune or at one with the world around them, and almost feel as if they are, for a momentary period in time, part of a different reality.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
9. A feeling of togetherness. Self-actualising people have a feeling for all of mankind. They are aware and sensitive to the people that are about them.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (9)
10. Interpersonal relations. Self-actualising people have deeper and more profound interpersonal relations than other adults. They are capable of fusion, greater love and more perfect identification that other people could consider possible. They generally tend to have relatively few friends, but those relationships are deep and very meaningful.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (7)
11. The democratic character structures. Self-actualising people tend to believe in the equal nature of human beings, that every individual has a right to their say, and that each person has his strengths and each person has his weaknesses.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
12. Discriminating between means and ends, between good and evil. Self-actualisng people know the difference between means and ends and good and evil and do not twist them in a way that hurt themselves or others.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (9)
13. Philosophical and unhostile sense of humor. Self-actualising people tend to enjoy humor. They like to laugh and like to joke, but not at the expense of others. They are generally seen as good natured, even though they are capable of being very serious.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
14. Creativeness. Self-actualising people are capable of being highly creative. Creativeness can be expressed in many dimensions by writing, speaking, playing, fantasies, or whatever, but self-actualising does have moods of being creative. Maslow has said that a first-rate cook is better than a second-rate painter. Hence, creativeness can be expresses in many dimensions.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
15. Resistance to inculturation, the transcendence of any particular culture. Maslow feels that the individual is above their culture in some way, that they maintain a strong individuality and are not so absorbed that they cannot evaluate the culture objectively in such a way that they can make decisions about what is best for them and those they care about.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (8)
16. The imperfections of self-actualising people. Self-actualising people are individuals who are aware of the fact that they are not perfect, that they are as human as the next person, and that there are constantly new things to learn and new ways to grow. The self-actualizing person, although comfortable with themself, never stops striving.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10)
TOTAL SCORE 127 out of 160.
I feel happy that I am on the right track and that I can Consciously make Choices to become more self-actualised. Of most important to me is that I continue my Journey of Self Awareness, to live my potential. I am still learning and I am still on a Journey of Discovery - that's what makes life so wonderful. It is also of great importance to me that I help others. It is from a place of Strength and Compassion and Authenticity and Self-Love that I believe I can best serve others in my Mission to Spread The Yellow.
My Coaching Business is so new and I feel that there is much to be done and yet I feel confident that with the support and love of my Yin and Yang parts of myself that I can become successful. My main Vision is to be working with 5-7 Clients every week by September. Rather than just doing a Marketing Plan, and being all in my Yang and having everything Planned - I am very much relying on the flow - and opening up to my Intuitive Yin and using my Yang to go into ACTION. My Yin is very appreciative of my Yang's business skills and ability to plan and complete 'to do lists', Yang is my feet on the ground. While Yang is allowing space for Yin - for magic, mystery, spontaneity. And my Yin also asks my Yang for ideas - and then feels into the idea - head and heart working together - they are in Conversation and Connection (and I look out for the Shadow of my Overthinker). As I work 3 days a week, I have just been working on my Coaching Business on a part-time basis and yet as this is my lifework, I have a sense that I need to take ACTION on my Business every day - let my Yin show me the way. Yesterday I bought a beautiful card - the words speak to me about my Business, about my life -
"When you come to the edge of all that you know,
you must believe in one of two things:
there will be earth upon which to stand,
or you will be given wings."
When I designed my Business Logo, I had a sense that Yin and Yang would be of supreme importance in my Coaching work. Yin and Yang is now HUGE for me in Coaching – I see the importance of having them both working together to bring about energy and light - and growth.
I remember meeting with the graphic designer to explain my Logo and my Yin and Yang were in their Power - I was speaking from the heart with Passion and also giving details and logic. I explained that the:
- Yellow heart in the middle is the spark – the light within – it can be Soul purpose, it can be one's Uniqueness and Greatness, it can be one's dream, idea, insight, inspiration – for me it is my dream of bringing my Coaching Business to life
- Red around the heart represents the love between Yin and Yang – the Passion and force of them coming together – the love story between Yin and Yang
- White circle around Yin and Yang being a representation of the Hero's Journey
- White and Yellow glow and rays is the sun – energy, warmth, ENERGY, magic, BRINGING THE DREAM TO LIFE – and seeing it SHINING IN THE WORLD – And Shining because you love what you have brought forth into being.
I am SHINING now after being in Reflection of my Journey in the last 7 weeks. I am Excited to work with Clients in helping them develop their own Strengths and Resources, helping them become more Self-Reliant and Confident and experience Self-Love.
Myers-Briggs Personality Profile was such a great starting point to find out about my Strengths and Preferences. I believe it will be worthwhile to invite all of my Clients to complete an online survey as an opportunity to learn about themselves, so that they can bring their own Yin and Yang into Power and help them consciously design and achieve their own Goals.
After speaking with the Doctor yesterday and during my own Reflection, I am realising how Passionate I am about walking with people as they take an Inner Journey - perhaps their Goals are more Confidence, greater Self-Esteem, more Joy and Fulfilment in their lives, a greater sense of Purpose, a new way of being in the world. I also Welcome all Clients and Trust that an External Goal, such as getting a new job, may also lead us to the underworld of exploring what is going on for a Client, offering the opportunity to explore how the Client can feel a greater sense of peace and happiness. I love that the Coaching Process can help people develop their own Strengths and Resources, life tools that will always support them on their Journey - especially in helping them live their potential and also during times of change and transformation.
My Yin-Yang Journey has brought me Home to Self where I am in a place of Self-Love. I now believe that anything is possible and I can make my dreams come true. And I look forward to working with Clients to help them with their own Self-Exploration and Self-Discovery - helping them see their own Greatness and Uniqueness - a Journey of Love of Self and Love of Life.
I love this quote from '
Soulcraft' - I believe it speaks about the Power of Yin (Vision) and Yang (task):
"
A Task without a Vision is just a job.
A Vision without a Task is just a dream.
A Vision with a Task can change the world."
I love that I have my Yin and Yang to help me with my Vision and Task. I love that I have powerful images of my Yin and Yang that I carry with me and draw on in my mind's eye.
If I feel I am too much in my Goddess Yin, I will call on the image of my Yang male - and if I am too much in Yang, I will invite his Beloved Goddess to share the space. My Commitment is to have them holding hands, a Union, a Fusion - and that's what I love about the Yin and Yang logo, even in Yin there is still Yang, and in Yang there is still a piece of Yin - they are never totally separated or without each other. In writing this I get a sense of my Goddess in Power, which I believe has Yin and Yang qualities.
I read this quote yesterday and I really like it -
"I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities"
This is a whole new world for me - I am Excited by all the possibilities.
