I Wish

The other day I went into Paddington to get some makeup for my wedding. As I do not wear makeup very often and like a very natural look, I have been looking for a makeup artist and the right makeup. And after meeting a lovely beautician on Thursday night, my journey took me into Paddington.

I am not a big shopper and yet when I arrived at Paddington, I heard the faint whisper of a Part of me that said “I Wish”... I was shocked - the voice said “I Wish I was rich...” In a second I thought about how I would go to the day spa all the time for facials and massages and “I Wish I was rich to go into all of the fancy clothing boutiques” and ”I Wish I had the confidence to go into the fancy boutiques”. And then in an instant I thought “I Wish I was more beautiful”,” I Wish I had perfect skin”, ” I Wish I had perfect features”, “ I Wish I had beautiful long hair”, “I Wish I looked all dressed up and fancy like the ladies passing by me”.

I was very curious about this Part of me...

Normally I sit in a place of Gratitude and Thankfulness for all I am and all I have. Very big in my Awareness is the fact that so many people live in poverty and struggle for their basic needs or even just people who are affected by sickness and disabiity. And yet here I was wishing for more.

And it is not that I can’t afford clothes in those boutiques - maybe one or two pieces (maybe a scarf) if I made it a Priority - yet it actually comes back to the larger Part of me that does not really like shopping. And yet I have noticed that there is this Part of me that is become louder and wants to wear nice things and wear makeup and look pretty. For a long time I did competitive Running, it was always about being faster - short hair, skinny, Running shoes, Running clothes, Running, training, competing - very Masculine and Yang. I even remember a boyfriend at the time who grew sick of my tracksuits and wished I wore more skirts - I still remember him saying that to me. And after I hurt my back I started wearing shapeup joggers to help my back, and they do make a difference - and yet now I want different. Now my Feminine Part of me, my Yin, is coming more alive, back alive - where I am finding myself wanting to buy magazines, wear pretty blouses, wanting to paint my nails - and even travelling to Paddington to get the right makeup that is right for me.

These thoughts in my head of “I Wish” only lasted about one or two minutes. I was then able to return to the Part of me that knows I am so fortunate. And then I also sat in a Space of what is really most important to me - what “I Wish” for the most - “I Wish my Mum didn’t have cancer”, this is the big number one - and “I Wish we have a baby soon”, another big, very important Wish.

Being in the Space of “I Wish” made me think of the Serenity Prayer - “God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot Change; the Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” For me there are many things outside my control, some of the big things. And if my greatest ”I Wish” is about Family for me, I can continue to treat this as a Priority in my life.

And if I am finding my Spirit come alive and some excitement regarding matters of the Feminine, it does not mean that I have to get caught up in Consumerism, Materialism, Shopping - yet I can enjoy my trip to Paddington to buy makeup, I can buy and enjoy flicking through magazines, and I am really enjoying now that I am back again wearing more dresses, embracing my Feminine. And it doesn’t mean I have to spend a lot of money - I even enjoyed a look at St Vincent De Paul’s at Paddington and found a really nice designer blouse and also a dress - all for the total price of $18 - I was Excited. I don’t really care about the “designer” bit, although there was a Part of me quietly Proud as if I had bought it at full price - and the main Part of me loved the bargain. Mostly I always love the opportunity to be on a treasure hunt to see what surprises and delights me in second hand stores and I love the chance to Recycle and Reuse.

The “I Wish” related to the Feminine Part of me is loving colour and fabrics and fashion. My Spirit is highlighting that I could get back to sewing again - I remember with fond memories sewing clothes -back when I was about 16-20 years of age. I used to love sewing dresses and wearing them out. Perhaps a new hobby when the time is right. And I am also interested in expressing my creativity through photography - another hobby I once loved.

I am not going to say” I Wish I had more time”.   I know I have the power to manage my time so that I can focus on my Priorities and Values.

I just realised that if I stay in the “I Wish” Space for too long (more than a couple of minutes), I am almost sitting in powerlessness, almost waiting for someone to rescue me or make my dreams come true.

Instead if I use the “I Wish” Space as a window to when my Spirit comes alive and when I feel Inspired, I can decide if this is really my heart’s desire.  There is almost a childhood Innocence here -  I can ask my Innocence Part of me what I really want, and in the quietness listen to my inner voice.

For ages and always, since I have stopped Running over the last couple of years, whenever I see a runner, I always say to myself “I Wish I could run again”, and so today on my walk, I allowed my Self to enjoy a few minutes of Running, in between Walking, enough to make me feel the aliveness and Joy of Running. Wonderful!!!

From the “I Wish” Space I can also check to see what is underneath the “I Wish” and show Curiosity of how I can fulfil Needs for my Self, my Soul. As an example the “I Wish I was rich and I would go to day spas more often”, I know this for me is about yes being pampered, but most importantly just wanting time to relax and have “me time”.  And so this morning I made it a Priority to get up early and take a walk in nature, and this evening made time for a relaxing bath.

And so from the “I Wish” Space, which feels so distant and far away, I am able to move to a place of feeling Excited and Empowered.

Manifesting My Heart's Desires

For a long time I have been reading self-development books.  I started reading these books when I was 21, I had just finished university - this is when my real education began - stepping out into the world - LIFE!  And in the last 10 years of my life I have experienced many HUGE life lessons - and I am still learning - learning everyday.

Like many people I enjoyed 'The Secret' - I read the book 4 years ago, I watched the dvd, I listened to the CDs.  I read it and thought that it sounded like a great idea - and yet it has only been in recent months that I have been a lot more focused on developing the skills of Manifesting My Heart's Desires.

A few months ago I had a wonderful conversation with a friend from the Clinic where I work - she is a Master of Manifestation.  It was around this time that I set the intention to bring my Magician Archetype onto the Stage in my life - I started this Process of learning Manifestation by Manifesting my Magician - by consciously inviting this Part of me to be more present in my life.

I started to read the great book  'Ask and It Is Given’ Esther and Jerry Hicks - this was a great book for me to read - I learnt a lot.  This book has so many wonderful words of wisdom, including:

- "... you came from a Source of love and well-being.  When you're matched up to that energy of peace and love, you then regain the power of your Source - that being the power to manifest your desires, to summon well-being, to attract abundance where scarcity previously resided, and to access Divine guidance in the form of the right people and the precisely correct circumstances."

- "there is nothing that you cannot be, do, or have"

The book talks about being in the right vibration - "The reason you have not already gotten what you desire is because you are holding yourself in a vibrational holding pattern that does not match the vibration of your desire."  Now this is a key part of what I read "Whatever you are giving your attention to causes you to emit a vibration, and the vibrations that you offer equal your asking, which equals your point of attraction.  If there is something you desire that you currently do not have, you need only put your attention upon it, and by the Law Of Attraction, it will come to you, for as you think about this thing or experience that you desire, you offer a vibration, and then, by Law, that very thing or experience must come to you.  However, if there is something that you desire that you currently do not have, and you put your attention upon your current state of not having it, then Law Of Attraction will continue to match that not having it vibration, so you will continue to not have that what you desire.  It is Law."

"Sometimes a person will say 'I'm not happy over here where I'm standing.  I would much rather be over there - over there where my body is not sick, or over there where I'm not overweight, or over there where I have more money or a better relationship'... We then explain that it is important to talk about what is believed to be 'over there' and try to find the feeling-place of what's 'over there'."

Since inviting my Magician on the Stage in my life I have been so Excited and Thankful for so many wonderful Gifts from God and the Universe.  There have been so many examples in my life recently of where I have been putting thoughts and desires out into the Universe and if by magic, so many things are appearing for me.  Recently, I had many thoughts about looking for Meditation Resources and Scripts and was Excited when one of the other girls from where I work, was talking about a great author and I looked at the books and found some great Meditation Scripts including one on building Self-Esteem, which a big area of interest for me, in terms of working with Clients.  I was also saying to My Man that we didn't have a song and it would be great to have our own song that we love - and I forgot about it (rather than searching for one) - and then one day when getting ready for work, they had a guest performance on 'Sunrise' and I loved the song - I showed My Man the 'youtube' clip - we found our song!

Just the other day I was planning to go to 'Peter Alexander' in the city (didn't have enough time in the end) and then the next day I was shopping locally and I was just about to leave and then felt Inspired to go a certain way in the Shopping Centre.  And then I was so surprised to see this new 'Peter Alexander' store - and I bought this great new pink and yellow nightie - my favourite colours, and even having yellow wattle on the nightie, I love wattle.

And a big one for me was when I put it out there that I would like to earn around $300 more per week and  I put it out there that I would be happy to take on more responsibility at work - within a few days a position was advertised at work, I applied and I was offered the job.  The great part of this job is that I will be able to bring more Coaching into the workplace.  And with some other opportunities I will be earning the extra money that I put out there to the Universe.

Also once I changed my vibration to being so Grateful and Excited about my current Clients with a trust that more Clients will continue to come to my Business, rather than focusing on the lack of a full diary of appointments, my Coaching Business has been building and I have been attracting new Clients - which I love!

Of course there is always the times when you think of someone you want to talk to or see and then you see them.  It can also work against you - I was talking at College about an ex-partner and all of the stress that it caused me - I really remembered the emotion of this chain of events - and to my surprise, I was checking my phone in the break and at the same time I received a call from this man - someone that would be unlikely to call me on a Saturday and who I hadn't spoken to in over 6 months.

I have learnt now to Consiously choose my thoughts and choose my vibration.

So how does it work - I am still learning and experiencing the power of Manifesting My Heart's Desires - I am not an expert - in fact that is why I have included so many great words of wisdom from 'Ask and It Is Given’ Esther and Jerry Hicks.  I do believe that in sending out the energy of what we desire, this connects with other energy in the Universe and draws that to us.  Likewise if someone sends something out to the Universe, this can also draw us in - like when people say "your ears must be burning" if someone is talking about you. - or just the other day I had the thought that I wanted to hear from my friend, and then realised that they had sent me an email - perhaps them sending out the energy, attracted in my thoughts.

I also believe that when we are very clear about what we want, the Universe, our Angels, God will bring opportunities into our awareness, send messages to us via our intuition.  I also love the Reticular Activating System in our brain - an example of the Reticular Activating System is when we buy a certain type of car or want a certain type of car, and then all of a sudden we see this car everywhere on the road - it has probably always been there - and now this is filtering through to our awareness.

When we are clear about what we want, and when we are totally relaxed and in the flow, we are going to notice and be drawn to that which we desire.

For me I have been practicing Manifesting My Heart's Desires by:
- being clear in what I want, consciously putting an order into the Universe
- feeling into the vibration - being positive and Grateful for all of the positive in my life and in this area of my life (a good step here is to use Visualisation and Imagination)
- letting go of the attachment to the outcome and having TRUST - I recently read about the Law of Detachment - “in order to acquire anything in the physical Universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it” - it is all about TRUST - what is TRUST? TRUST - To Rely Unto Spirit Totally (I love this acronym - a great reminder to me).

I love this analogy that my friend shared with me about TRUST - which helps me a lot when Manifesting My Heart's Desires.  Consider you are at a restaurant with a friend and you look at the menu – there are a lot of nice things – you decide what you want – you order the fish – the trick is to TRUST that the fish is being prepared and will be delivered to you – and so you enjoy conversation and be PRESENT IN THE NOW with your friend (rather than sitting there wondering when it is going to arrive, asking the waiter when it will be here, thinking about it a lot, talking about it with your friend about when is the fish going to arrive) – the fish will come.

I love that 'Ask and It Is Given' talks about having your own unique desires and preferences and from this place, as we are unique, there is abundance for us all - once again we can just TRUST.

ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT BELIEF FOR ME is that I am also conscious that my Magician cannot work alone - I need all Parts of me to allow my Dreams to come true - other Parts of me such as my  Destroyer (to let go of what does not serve me), my Organiser (to help me with my Priorities), my Sage (wisdom for and from my Highest Self), my Creator (Action from Intuition).  My Innocence is very important, helping me work out what I truly want, what is at the Heart for me.   It is also important that I invite in my Caregiver to listen to and look after my Innocence, and also consciously bring in the presence of my Warrior to defend my Innocence and stand up for my Truth (and overcome any fears or doubts).

I imagine all of these Parts of me dancing together in Celebration as I live my Vision.