Being With My Emotions

After being at College all weekend with so much to learn, I have definitely been feeling a sense of overwhelm, so many Activities and Processes to learn so that they can aid us in working with our Coaching Clients.  

I was happy to complete all of the Activities that applied to my Physical Environment, and then in completing the Activities, this automatically led to new Awareness and then comes the work - more work.  And yet I also have a knowing that I do not need to put pressure on myself.  I can feel into my Intuition and I have a sense of the Areas in my life that need my attention.  I also have a sense that I want to exercise Exceptional Self-Care and focus on the basics - eating well, sleeping, relaxing.  

When looking at my Wheel Of Life, I rated my Health at a very low 2, and I am now taking Steps each day to help me in this Area in my life.  In particular, I am loving Yoga - very much loving Yoga - I am so Excited that I have finally started a regular class - it is wonderful - I am feeling less pain in my neck and back and definitely stronger in my body. 

I have also been enjoying Walking in Nature - I love getting out in the morning before I go to work.  I love walking in Gunnamatta Park - just being in the stillness.  I enjoy the time in Solitude.

Day 2 of our Course looked at our Emotional Level of Living and we talked about Needs.  For me time in Nature and Solitude are very important to me.  As explained by my Teacher, when our Needs are met, we are at our best.  For me, Walking in Nature is a positive way to start my day.  I love when I see Kookaburras - I love Birds and these are my favourite - bringing back childhood memories of holidays with my Family - and I just love the laughter of the Kookaburras.  I also love the Trees in the Park. 

I do miss my Running and yet it has definitely given rise to my new love of Walking in Nature and has renewed my love of Nature.  I remember at College a few months ago we talked about the new label of Nature Deficit Disorder - I use Google and look this up "a term coined by Richard Louv in his 2005 book 'Last Child in the Woods', refers to the alleged trend that children are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide range of behavioural problems" - interesting.  I remember at College we joked that a pill would probably be prescribed for this disorder.  Spending time in Nature in Solitude, and also Walking with my Man, is so important to me, and it will definitely be a Priority when we raise children.

On my morning walks I have been collecting rocks for my own Medicine Wheel.  On the weekend we created a Medicine Wheel and it was so beautiful and had so much meaning.  It has Inspired me to create my own Medicine Wheel.  I have collected 4 rocks for the main stones of North, South, East and West and I have 56 smaller rocks to collect - I am in no rush - I am just trusting the Gifts of Nature, as to what feels right for me to collect.  I am looking forward to displaying my Medicine Wheel in my Coaching Space from these rocks that I am collecting - especially with a knowing that they carry the energy of my favourite places in Nature.

As I refer back to my notes I see that one of the objectives of our learnings is to be able to connect in more fully with our emotional world.  Last night I experienced this first hand, Being With My Emotions.  I was contacted by someone from my past and it brought up a whole world of Emotions.  It took me back to a time seven years ago - a time that was filled with sadness and stress.  And as I sat in these Emotions, not being scared or overpowered by them, so many memories were triggered for me.  My Man was lovely and asked me what he could do to help me feel better, asking if I wanted to watch one of our favourite shows.  I just cried and said that Being With My Emotions was what I needed to do, rather than trying to move away from them.  And so I cried.  And I sat in Meditation, witnessing memory by memory, sad memories by sad memories, coming up for me.  It was like watching a movie of my life - seeing all of these scenes from times that I had been rejected.  And I just sat in the pain of the rejection.  The pressure on my neck was intense, as if the wounds of these unhealed Emotions were buried in my body.  And I just kept crying.  I went to bed early, crying, with my Man lying close by and giving me the Space to just be.  

I have been very conscious of wanting to heal any unresolved emotions, where I have a feeling that my back and neck pain stem from my past and from not processing my Emotions.  The other day I experienced the opportunity to deal with some unresolved anger through listening to a Louise Hay Meditation.  This Meditation was a good chance for me to look at unresolved feelings.  I initiated this Process and I actually thought that the Process helped.  Obviously the Universe and Spirit and God knew that I was strong enough to uncover another layer, where I needed to sit in the Pain of my past and just allow myself this chance of Being With My Emotions.  And now one day later, there is no longer the Emotional charge associated with these memories.  

I am learning that it is so important to be real and be with Emotions - that this is the path of healing.  It makes sense.  I look back on an old relationship break up, a long time ago now, 10 years ago, and I remembered being so upset.  I remember crying and crying and expressing my upset, crying while I cooked dinner, crying with Friends and Family.  And I remember being expressing my anger and heartbreak.  And then the crying stopped and day by day my heart began to heal.  And there was no longer an Emotional charge - I had allowed the time to Process my Emotions.

As I end my Blog tonight I would like to include a quote that was emailed to me this morning - this quote makes so much sense for me -
"Other people’s opinion of you will only affect you when you don’t have a concrete opinion of yourself.” – Amir Zoghi –

"Be more concerned about what you think of yourself Kathryn, rather than being so concerned about the opinion of others. An opinion of another individual is only determined by the opinion that they have of their self, so it cannot be a true opinion of you anyway. Just like your opinion of others is really an opinion about yourself.  The UNIVERSE"

Last night when I was crying, it brought up so many Emotions, and I did start to compare where I am at in my life versus Friends from the past - and then I remembered that none of this matters.  I am happy to be me - my life is a Gift.

Commitment

'Commitment' is the word that has been coming up for me in the last few days - just the sense of Naming my Commitments and Honouring my Commitments.

Yesterday and today my Organiser Archetype has been in Action, with my To Do Lists, getting things done. And by being in Yang ACTION mode I do feel good about myself, I feel a sense of Achievement.  I have been organising my tax, health appointments and an Advertisement for my Coaching Business.  I have made a Commitment to get more Organised, so that I feel more Empowered in my Life.  

This morning, as I was lying in bed, I had a look at my Values on the wall and Commitment is one of my Values.  I love having my Values on my wall - they guide me for my day and for my life.

As I was lying in bed and enjoying lying in bed, I see the words Commitment and Health.  I am choosing to Name and Honour my Commitment to my Health.  Recently I was shocked to complete a Wheel Of Life Activity and have a sense that my Health is only at a 2 out of 10.  I was looking at my Wheel Of Life on 1 July 2010, knowing that I still had 6 months left of 2010, I wanted to put my own Dreams into ACTION.  I am SO HAPPY that I am now going to Yoga - I have a Commitment to go to Yoga at least once a week - and I love it.  I love the feeling of stretching and strengthening my body, I just love it!!!  After Yoga, I was very relaxed sitting at home on the couch and I was very very tempted to have some chocolate - and yet I have made a Commitment to not eat sweets during the week.  I am not sure what changed for me, I never used to eat chocolate, sweets, cakes.  I am glad that I am more relaxed and yet I need to Balance this with my Commitment to my Best Health. 

Thanks to my Commitment to Yoga, the last two Thursday nights I have slept so well, sleeping through the whole night.  Getting enough sleep is also important to me.

Nature is also on my list of Values, and while I could have stayed in bed longer, I felt Inspired to get up and go for a walk.  By having a Commitment to my Health, it is easy to make a decision to get moving and get active.  

As I go for a walk, I see some runners pass me and I always have the same response, a feeling of 'I wish I was Running'.  Every time I see a runner or hear a story about Running from a friend, this feeling is always present for me.  I love Running.  I have tried other activities such as Paddling and love the idea of Swimming - and yet I always come back to my love of Running.  And yet I have made a Commitment that starting a family within the next 6-12 months is a Priority for me and so I have decided to just enjoy Walking so that I can be painfree in my back and neck.  I know that I will be Running again one day and so for now I enjoy Walking.  I love the sense of peace that comes with Walking, especially when I am in Nature.

I love Gunnamatta Park, it is one of my favourite places.  My Soul feels at home here.  I just love the Trees and the quiet.  I love being outdoors, especially at Gunnamatta Park.  I feel a sense of Connection with Nature.  I love feeling a sense of Connection with Trees.  I am drawn to a tall tree and I have a sense of the Tree's Wisdom.  I put my hand on the Tree and listen to the whisper of the words that I feel inside of me.  I wait.  I have a sense of the following words - "Be", "You are here", "You are here!!!", "Follow the signs".

I feel a sense of stillness.  These words speak to me.  I have a sense that due to the nature of Coaching and the moving forward, I am often looking forward and setting Goals and wanting to take the Next Steps and in  hearing these words "You are here" I have a feeling of Relief, Peace, Rejoice, Celebration - "I AM HERE" - WOW!!!  I say to myself "Wow, I AM HERE, look where I AM".  I have so much to be Grateful for right now - after years and years of being unhappy in my Career and wanting to work with people and be a helper and healer - I AM HERE - I am a Coach now.  This is a new Journey and I am still learning and growing and yet I Am Here - I can be happy with where I am right now.  Yes, I want to grow my Business and work with more Clients and be more Active in running Workshops and Group Coaching and today I also have a sense of being a Teacher and speaking at Seminars - and these are all possibilities and opportunities.  And this will come.  And I have reassurance in the words "Follow the signs".  I also have a sense of "I AM HERE" in the area of my love relationship - for years and years I have put so much energy into the wrong relationships and this has been my Soul Path and now I AM HERE in a loving relationship - my Man is Home to me - it is a wonderful feeling.  I have a strong Commitment to my relationship with my Man.

I love being in Nature.  I have a strong sense that I want to do outdoor Coaching that may involve Nature Walking and picnic rug style Coaching as well as Group Coaching at Sunrise and also Sunset.  These are just ideas that feel right for me, and my Organiser Archetype has scheduled 2 hours next week to put these and more of my other ideas into writing.  I definitely have a Commitment to grow my Coaching Business.  I love Coaching and working with Clients.  I also have a Commitment to Spread The Yellow in my daily living, in my Coaching and also through my Business.

I also have a Commitment to be in Community and so I enjoy being at the Bookstore today where there are some lovely woman and I love being able to talk about our Spiritual Journeys.  I really enjoying sharing time with them and enjoy a sense of Connection.  I also enjoyed a Meditation at the Bookstore today, guided by one of the healers.  This is the second time I have come to this Mediation Group and I am really enjoying this opportunity.

I always love the opportunity to just connect and relax within.  I have a feeling that I am within my Soul's Home, my Yellow Heart, which is a place of Love and Light, and I am just being "Present and Warm To What Is" - it is really nice to just take time for Meditation.

I love the image above and it captures the sense of my Yellow Heart filled with Light and the rays of Light coming from my Heart.  And I also have a strong sense in my Meditation of rays of Light coming from the Heavens - from God, the Universe, my Angels.

During the Meditation I have a sense of the words "I Am Here" (again here are these words).  And I also have a visual of a Yellow Path, that I will be guided and I just have to "Follow the signs" (these are also the words from my Nature walk this morning).  I love the visual of a Yellow pathway and I hear the words "Trust", "Trust".

I have a Commitment to my Soul Purpose to Spread The Yellow and I am asking for Guidance to show me the signs of my Next Steps.  I do not want to be so in Yang that I am not in tune with my Yin - I want Spirit to speak to me through my Yin and for my Yin to then direct my Yang.

As I Name and Honour my Commitments of my Health, my Man, my Coaching Business and my Purpose to Spread The Yellow, I believe that this will open up more doors and ways for me.  I have a sense that I have to "Be" and "Listen" and "Trust".

I love the following quotes about Commitment -
- “Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” Tom Robbins

- “There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

- “Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality.” James Womack

- "When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” - this is how I feel about my Coaching and being in a place of Spread The Yellow - I feel like I am definitely on my Yellow Path, I AM HERE!!!  And as I say these words I am Excited and Delighted, I feel a lightness, a brightness - I AM HERE!!!  And I have a Commitment to follow my Path, even if it is not always Yellow, even if it takes me through the forest or down into the Valleys, I have a sense that my Light will carry and support me on my Journey...

And this afternoon my Man is doing a cleanup and finds some beautiful Christmas decorations that we bought last November and that we had forgotten to display at Christmas.  He brings them out and I love that there is an Angel with a Yellow Heart and also a Golden Butterfly.  They are beautiful and have so much meaning for me.  I decide to bring them into my everyday, rather than just packing them away for Christmas.  I feel the Angel with the Yellow Heart is there to remind me of my Soul Purpose - that my Yellow Heart, at the centre of my being, is filled with Love and Light and is a Gift from God.  This is why I am here, to Spread The Yellow, and God, the Universe and Angels are here to support me.

And the Golden Butterfly also speaks to me - the Butterfly is such a strong symbol of Tranformation.  As I look at the picture of the Golden Butterfly, the Light has created a Shadow - a reminder to me that Life is Light and Dark, Day and Night, Summer and Winter and a reminder to me that I am also Light and Dark.  And as I live in the Light and Upper World, I can make Space to Witness my Shadow and be open to all emotions and open to the messages of my Unconscious... this is my Commitment.

Channel My Energy

I am loving some of the Yang, Structured Processes that can be used for Coaching Clients and which I am using for College and as an opportunity to Channel My Energy.

After looking at my Ideal Scene in 5 years and then looking at my current Wheel Of Life - the next Process is the Energy Leaks Inventory.  As written in my College notes "Your energy is one of your most precious resources.  It's time to look at where it is all going... Anything that we find ourselves 'tolerating', whether we are doing so consciously or unconsciously (such as through habit), drains our energy system.  This is a simple yet powerful concept.  'Energy Leaks' is both an internal and external matter.  Whilst we ultimately hold responsibility for how we respond (or react) to life, we can also call upon our empowerment to change external factors and thereby plug up these holes in our system.  For example, every time we look at an in-tray of papers that need to be dealt with, we actually lose energy on the thought itself.  The 'Oh-no, I haven't done that yet' is an Energy Leak in our system."

Reading the "Oh-no, I haven't done that yet" resonates with me and I realise that this very internal feeling is definitely an Energy Leak for me time and time again.  I have been enjoying being more Yin than Yang since February this year and I have a more Yin Preference - and so I wanting to bring more Yang, more ACTION, more doing into my life.  I love the Energy Leaks Inventory as it gives me a list of Possible Energy Leaks and then I can list a Possible Solution or ACTION.

My Goal or Vision for myself is to feel a sense of Vitality and Freedom where I am Consciously Choosing how to Channel My Energy.

I love this Process where I identify my Energy Leaks and Potential Solutions, including (and not limited to):

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

- Sometimes a sense of worry or stress - SOLUTION - Meditate 15-30 minutes/ day

- Lack of focus, concentration or organisation - SOLUTION - Better use of my diary to get organised

- Unhappy with appearance - SOLUTION - Grow my hair, review my wardrobe AND acceptance of me

PERSONAL AND SPIRITUAL GROWH

- Lacking sense of spiritual path - SOLUTION - Meditate 15-30 minutes/ day + Pray + be involved in Church Community

- Lacking sense of, or time for, fun - SOLUTION - Make more time for fun on a daily and weekly basis

- I miss being part of a Community that supports growth - SOLUTION - Be more involved in Bookstore Community, Church Community and Local Community

PHYSICAL HEALTH

- Lack of energy - SOLUTION - Walk at least 4 times/ week

- Unhealthy, unbalanced diet - SOLUTION - More time creating healthy recipes + no sweets Monday-Thursday

- Chronic pain or health condition - neck and back pain - SOLUTION - Commitment to Yoga 1-2 times/ week

- Too long since dental visit - SOLUTION - Book appointment to see the Specialist

- Particular health concern not yet addressed - neck and back pain - SOLUTION - Book a massage

RELATIONSHIPS

Friendships and Social Life

- Not enough contact with friends I value - SOLUTION - Organise monthly get togethers - movies, walks, tea and chat

- Unfinished Business - SOLUTION - Meditation and writing to let go of any ties to the past

- Lacking a loving and supportive Community - SOLUTION - Be involved in Church Community

Partner

- Not enough quality time with partner - SOLUTION - Time on a daily basis, rituals to Connect + weekly outing/ walk together

Family

- Family life feels heavy, obligatory or strained - SOLUTION - Not take on Family worry - love and support and trust my Family to take care of their own lives and focus on my own Journey

HOME ENVIRONMENT

- Home is cluttered and disorganised - SOLUTION - Need to spend time on a weekly basis to be organised in home - chunk it down, area by area - free up space and organise

- Garage - SOLUTION - Learn to sell by ebay, sell by ebay + organise Garage Sale

CAREER

- Working in wrong field - Monday-Wednesday - SOLUTION - Give my best at work and be open to other opportunities + build my Coaching Business which is my lifework

MONEY/ FINANCES

- Spend more than I earn - SOLUTION - Need to earn more - work an extra day where there is the opportunity + build my Coaching Business + live to my Budget

- Credit Rating - SOLUTION - Review Credit Rating and ensure all of the correct details

- Need an up-to-date will - SOLUTION - Organise a will within the next 6 months

- Feeling worried about money - SOLUTION - Stick to a Budget + Channel My Energy into building my Business

- Superannuation unorganised - SOLUTION - Review all Plans and organise.

After completing this Activity, I then move to the 'Tackling Procrastinations' Worksheet.  

I list down 5 things I have been Procrastinating about which are 5 of the Items from the above listing including: Yoga, Meditation, Ebay, Garage Sale + Superannuation.  I then rank their importance and also add in a date Commitment.   From a Procrastination List, I now have Specific and Measurable Goals - that are definitely Achievable.  And I feel Inspired to honour these Commitments.

I am also going to continually work on all of the SOLUTIONS of the Energy Leaks in my Life.  I am Committed to being the best I can be on a Personal Level, so that this will allow me to Channel My Energy into being the best Coach that I can be for my Clients.  By understanding the effectiveness of these Processes, they also offer the opportunity to be excellent tools for my Clients to help them on their Journey.

I am happy that I am making my Health a Priority - where I have been concerned that I ranked this at a 2 on my Wheel Of Life in terms of Satisfaction with this Area in my life.  Now that I am Walking more and as I have started Yoga, these are positive steps in the right direction.

In my Brochure I ask 'Do You Love Your Life?' and state 'SHINE Coaching Can Help You Put Your Dreams Into Action'.  And for me I also Choose to Honour these words and Channel My Energy to put my Dreams Into Action.  And even if I am not living my Ideal Scene, where I do not have a 10 out of 10 for every Area of my Life, I can Honestly and Openly say that I do Love My Life.  I am Grateful.  I am Blessed.  I am Loved.  I have Joy.  I have Choices.  Thank you God.  Thank you Universe.

Yes I Did It!!!

Yes I Did It!!! Yoga!!!  Finally!!!  I have been wanting to go to Yoga for years and today was my first Step.

I had been recommended to this Yoga Teacher from my Chiro and yet it was a Thursday night class a few suburbs away.  And yet I felt Excited when I was on my way and I felt so Present in the Class with so much Trust in the Teacher.  Yes I Did It and Yes I Loved It!!!  I felt my body stretching and I loved that feeling and I can't wait to go again next week.  I am in a Beginners' Class which is excellent as the Teacher is going through all the basics and making sure we are doing each move in the right way.  I now wish that I had have started years ago and I am Grateful that I have started this Journey.

After writing my Ideal Scene for 5 years from now - I looked at my Wheel Of Life and I was surprised to see that my level of Satisfaction is low in many Areas.  Very surprised!!

One of my main Areas I want to focus on right now is my Health, I have rated it at a 2.  And after receiving clear results from an X-Ray on my neck and back, and after going to Yoga tonight, I already feel that I am moving up the Scale.

With today being 1 July 2010 - I am very Conscious that we have experienced 6 months of this year and there is 6 months to go - and I want to make every day Count.  Rather than having a Step by Step Plan, my Intention is to follow my Intution to take Next Steps that will naturally move me towards 10 out of 10 in each Area.

This has been a perfect ending to a positive day for me.  I am Grateful to be working with a brilliant Coach where I am learning so much about my Soul's Journey.  I have a sense that my Health is being affected by taking on emotions and worries, absorbing them in my Body.  I am also Conscious that rather than automatically going into Positivity or Gratitude, I may also need to Honour my Feelings.  My Coach talks about being at my Soul's Home and the words "Being Present and Warm with What Is" resonate with me. 

When I get home I enjoy Art Therapy to capture the Awareness and I enjoy time in Meditation where I work with my Sage, the Wise Part of me to look back on my Past where I may still be carrying layers and layers of pain.

I make a Commitment to myself to tune into my Feelings, my Body's Felt Sense.  I find a great website talking about Honouring Feelings -
http://www.evancarmichael.com/Work-Life/1870/How-do-you-honor-your-feelings.html

"Why do you think it is important to know what you are feeling? Do you take notice of what your body is trying to tell you or do you bypass your emotions, allowing your head to rule the day? Do you think other people's feelings are more important than your own?

It is important to know what you are feeling as feelings are the best personal response! Your feelings are like a compass, directing you through your life, so it is important to listen to what they have to say, as they can guide you into making the right choices. Your inner wisdom is brilliant - yet most of us ignore it by denying our gut feelings and initial reactions. However, to do this can cause you harm as it can lead you to befriend the wrong people, pursue inappropriate career paths and be in relationships with the wrong person. How many times have you said to yourself 'I knew I shouldn't have done that'?  So trusting and honoring your feelings is vital to achieving your best life ever!

Learn to trust that your feelings are there for a reason. Do you get an uncomfortable feeling every time you go to a certain event or meet a certain person? This could be your feelings telling you to Beware! Is your body exhausted or stressed - this may be your body telling you to slow down a little and take care of your health. You may also find that if you choose to ignore these feelings, they often get stronger and stronger and will not just go away! Often your feelings will escalate until you listen to them and pay attention to them. For example, if you ignore the fact that you are tired and exhausted, you may end up having a virus or a cold.

However, the choices you make as a result of honoring your feelings will bring you contentment, acknowledgment that you are on the right path and joy and fulfillment.

So, how do you honor your feelings?

Try the following steps:
1) When you feel something in your body, give it a name and identify exactly what you are feeling.  At least twice a day, ask yourself, What am I feeling?  Write your feelings down. Start each day by writing 'I feel..' and then keep on going

2) Try to understand what your feelings are trying to tell you - Are your feelings telling you you're anxious? Happy? Overwhelmed? If so, try and work out why! Are you working too hard? Are you about to do something which is not in integrity? Are you about to do something which is not appropriate to your life plan? Are you feeling anxious because you are about to try something new?
 

3) Affirm and validate your feelings - We are very good at invalidating our own feelings! We consider them to be unimportant, stupid or unacceptable. Many of us have even learned that it is unsafe to honor our own feelings. Try to listen and honor the way you feel - your feelings count! Try the following affirmation to assist you in validating your feelings:
* All of my feelings are acceptable
* I honor and respect my feelings
* I choose to have compassion for myself

In conclusion, your feelings are often the voice of your biggest desires which are waiting to be heard. They have so much to teach you and will always give you clues to your inner wisdom and the right path to follow. Growing into the wonderful people we are meant to be requires honoring our feelings!"

I love reading these wise words which are in line with the work that I am doing with my Coach.  I am Inspired with the words "Being Present and Warm with What Is", especially since tomorrow is my day of being the Coach, and I am really looking forward to holding this Sacred Space for my Clients.