It's Up To Me

It is 1 June - the first day of Winter.  At the beginning of the year I had made a Commitment to be up for the Sunrise on the first day of every month - I love being a Witness to the Sunrise.  This morning I was tired, I would have loved to just keep sleeping.

It is interesting to be an Observer to these two Parts of myself - the Part that wants to get up and out and see the Sunrise and the Part that wants to stay under my warm doona.  It is interesting now that I have discovered the two distinct Parts of myself of Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine - as it helps with my Internal Dialogue.  I feel my Yin wants to rest while my Yang wants to get up and out into ACTION.  I feel my Yang Part encouraging my Yin, reminding me of how much I love the Sunrise and asking Yin to "please get up, we made plans".  My Internal World is the same as a loving relationship between a Male and Female in the outside world - there is love, encouragement, negotiation, discussion.  When Male and Female come together and work together, there is MAGIC, there is ENERGY and warmth and light. 

It is funny thinking of these two Parts of me, and I am realising that Yin and Yang are almost like the Mother and Father of all my Sub-Personalities.  In my work with Sub-Personalities, I have learnt that when working with Inner conflict, there are usually two distinct Parts that want different things, that have different needs.  And I am now seeing that I can label each Part as either a Yin Sub-Personality or a Yang Sub-Personality - such as my Sub-Personality of my Couch Girl would be Yin and my Sub-Personality of my Sporty Kath would be Yang.  I also know that as well as a Yin versus Yang conflict, it is probable and possible that there could be a conflict between two different Yin Sub-Personalities or two different Yang Sub-Personalities.  In Coaching I love working with the empty chair and working with two Parts of myself or a Client - and now I have realised that my Yin and Yang can work together to help resolve the conflict and be in a place of love and understanding and support so that there is a Win-Win.  This is wonderful work.

I am still learning and getting to know these two Parts of me and I am always interested when different Sub-Personalities come onto the stage of my life.  And yet I can see that a greater understanding of Yin and Yang can help bring me into Balance.  When working with Inner conflict or facing a decision, I feel that there may be different Sub-Personalities, and yet I feel I can be in charge of my life, I AM in charge of my own life.  If I feel a Sub-Personality come onto the stage of my life, such as the Overthinker, my Yin Feminine whispers to her Beloved Yang that he should just rest and relax.  If I have a feeling of Self-Doubt, a Shadow on the side of my Yin, I feel my Yang man loving my Yin with reassuring and loving words. 

Best of all I feel that my Yin and Yang can help me achieve all my dreams - through the Strengths and Resources of both parts of me, and through their encouragement and support of the other Part of me - I feel like I can overcome all obstacles.  I  feel I have Choices and I can rely on myself.  I cannot say that I am not good at that, or I don't know how to do that, or live in fear or Shadow - as I now see  that I am all things, I have all these Parts to me that can be developed and brought into my life.  I have always loved these words - "If It's To Be, It's Up To Me".  I feel that from a place of Self-Love and Self-Confidence I have now springboarded to a place of Empowerment - where I can work with what is within my own control and using my power to make positive Choices.

My Yang was able to encourage Yin to get up this morning.  And what a wonderful morning.  I love being outdoors.  On my way to Cronulla Beach I decide to put some of my Flyers into letterboxes.  There has been no logical order to my letterbox drops - originally from a place of Yang I was planning on photocopying pages from a street directory to keep a record of the streets where I have given out my Flyers and also to keep a record of the numbers that I am distributing - and yet I just let my Yin be in the moment and let this be my guide - while my Yang is my feet on the ground.  When I am out the front of a unit complex, I just look at all of the different numbers and rather than putting a Flyer into every letterbox, I just let my Intuitive Yin part of me guide my Yang.  When I am putting my Flyers into different letterboxes, I find it interesting that there are so many different letterboxes, and then my Yang Thinker, thinks about all the different types of houses, and then I think about all the different people and families, living in the houses, and then my Yin has a sense of so many different stories and has a sense of Spread The Yellow, and I send love and light and Yellow with my Flyer.

It was so cloudy and so I didn't see the sunrise above the horizon, and yet I just loved watching the sky and walking along the beach.  I am glad that I took my camera this morning to take some shots of my beautiful morning.

 

I love the sky, I love the sky.  I could have stayed there all day.  I am also amazed when I watch the ocean swimmers, so fearless of the cold.  I have always thought I wanted to be an ocean swimmer and yet I get so so cold.  I am so Inspired when I am dressed up warm in a tracksuit and I see the swimmers in the ocean in Autumn and Winter.

I just love seeing people in the world, living their life, doing what brings them Joy.

When I get home I enjoy a Meditation.  I have a sense of me in Sunshine and I see a Visual of me and my Man and our Baby and my Nieces.  And then I see another beautiful image of me sitting on a picnic rug on the front lawn of my Parents' home and I am with my Mum and my Baby.  I love this image.  I also have an image of Yellow bubbles floating and yet they are more like Yellow feathers floating down on someone, with warmth rather than a cold burst of water, and then I get a sense of Yellow rose petals.

I have a strong belief that if a Goal is really important to me that It's Up To Me and my Yin and Yang will come together, work together. 

I could stay at home today and then I feel two Parts of Yang in conflict - one wants to keep writing - one knows it has to go to work.  My Yin reminds my Yang that I enjoy the Community at my work and that I do get a Sense of Achievement.  My Yin reminds my Yang that there will be time tonight to do what I love to do.

I get home and I do what I love to do - a relax and read in a hot bath, I make a Vegetarian risotto, time with my Man, enjoy a chai latte (made by my Man), Blog and Art Therapy.  I am loving my Yin and Yang and as I am a Visual person I enjoy some Art Therapy to create a picture of Yin, Yang and my Sub-Personalities and Shadow and Soul and Spirit.

This Art makes sense for me - perhaps this is the Yang part of me trying to put everything in a Logical order.  I see my Soul at my core, the Yellow in me, the part of me that is my Uniqueness, my Greatness.  And within my Yin and Yang parts of me, there are some Sub-Personalities (Xs) in the light, and some in the Shadow.  And I see Spirit, my God above me, and Spirit whispers to my Yin, and my Yin hears the voice through her Intuition.  And then there is a Wise One which is the part of me that can be the Observer to myself, can be the Counsellor to my Yin and Yang, believes in the greater good - my Wise One is a Resource to my Yin and Yang, a Resource to me.

I am in a loving, wonderful relationship with my Man.  And yet for the first time in a long time, perhaps forever, I am in loving relationship with My Self.  

Sometimes, when I write so many words in my Blog, or my Blogs are so long, I have this sense of Self-Doubt come up, that I "should" make them shorter, or I write or say "too much" - this is just my Overthinker, or People Pleaser Shadows - and yet my Yin and Yang Parts give me reassurance and remind me that this Blog is for me, this Blog is my Journey.  

I love that I can be Real...  I am Proud of myself for my Courage...  I am Proud to be Me... 

I am Very Happy that I have a knowing that It's Up To Me - It's Up To Me to make Choices, to put my Dreams into ACTION, to Live a Life I Love...

Inspired To Go For It

After being an Observer to my Yin and Yang and realising that I need to bring my Yang into power - Today is the day.  I have decided that I want to be more Confident in building my Coaching Business - this MATTERS TO ME.  Through the day I draw on my image of Yin and Yang in power - me in my power.

As my growth area is to strengthen my Yang, I also draw on my Yang images, the ones that I have chosen that represent my Yang.  As I am Visual, I find it easy to see these images in my mind's eye.

First thing this morning I read my friend's Blog and I feel Inspired, it is a great way to start the day http://piece-sunshine.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-abundant-life.html - I love reading that my friend is "really excited and inspired", that Kara refers to her life as being "amazing" and I love that Kara asks questions to her readers - "what is stopping you from living that life NOW? Why wait for the future?" - and I love this line "So live the life you want to live, NOW."  It is a wonderful, must read Blog.  

I then look at my emails and notice that I have a SPAM folder, that I have never checked before and I find this wonderful quote that was sent to me this morning -

“Time waits for no one, it just ticks away. Why then do we make our lives so much about saving or making time, why not just make it about having a great time?!!” Amir Zoghi -
"Slow down Kathryn, slow down. What are you really in a rush for? Does it really matter at the end of the day? How would you live if you knew that you only had a limited amount of time here? I’ll tell you, you would wake up to living every moment for what it is and for what it has to offer you. Well my dear, I have news for you, you are here for a limited amount of time. Did you forget that? Start living and stop waiting for the right time. The time is now, it has always been.  The UNIVERSE"

Yes - what a great way to start my day - a wonderful Blog and now a great quote to get me Inspired.  Last night at my Course we did an exercise of putting an anti-virus system around your own mind - it was a Meditation and I imagined a Yellow light radiating out.  Anthony Robbins talks about having a guard to your mind to stop negative self-talk or anything negative from entering your thinking.  This to me is so important  and I am blessed that I am naturally a Positive person.  And yet, I also believe that we all have the opportunity to read great stories or Blogs, to have great books or quotes on hand - even just have a quick look at a page of a book that is filled with Positive words and Inspiring quotes - anything that will help us be Motivated and Inspired for the day.

Today I was Inspired - Inspired To Go For It - it is time to bring my Yin and Yang into their maturity - to take ACTION.  I meet with the Operations Manager and I tell him from my heart, with Passion and Energy, that I have started my Coaching Business and that I am experienced in Motivating Staff and would like to be more involved at work in helping Coach staff and run an Incentive Program and Motivational Sessions and utilise more of my Strengths and Coaching at work.  My Yin is Passionate, My Yang is Confident and gives examples of ideas that may help staff SHINE at work.  I am rapt when my Manager says that he has been thinking of how I can help in different areas at work - and when he gets back from work, we will have a meeting with the Owner of the Business.  AWESOME, I AM Excited!!

Today at work I am also Confident when talking to other Staff about my Coaching Business - I show them my Flyers and I have a lady who says she will talk to her Husband about me Coaching her daughter - it is an Honour that she would consider me.  I look at her directly, and speak from my heart - telling her how Passionate I am about Coaching, how much I love working with people to help them grow.  I love that this lady from work offers me some ideas for promoting my Business in the local area.  I love when people offer tips and ideas - wanting me to be Successful, as they believe in me  I also love that this lady looks at my Flyer and says how much she likes it - that means so much - a kind word - the Gift of words are my favourite.

The power of my Yin-Yang is also coming into force in other areas of my life - helping me in my Communication with my Family - as we support and care for each other and work together for the Greater Good.

And then I get home and I love being home - my home with my Man.  I am so Grateful that I am so in love.  And I am so surprised when my Man walks in the door and greets me with a big bunch of Sunflowers - they are so beautiful - like they have been picked fresh from the garden - they are so beautiful.

And tonight we can relax together, enjoy some Thai home delivery (I love that my Man always orders Vegetarian dishes that I can enjoy) and some quality time together.  I am so happy with myself - I am giving myself a pat on the back, celebrating the Wins of my day, where I gave my all and was Inspired To Go For It - I loved feeling the energy and force of what is possible when my Yin and Yang work together to Make A Difference.  I am genuine in my desire to Spread The Yellow and I have a Commitment to make every day count.

Now In This Moment

We have finally put my favourite print on the wall in our bedroom - it is a photo of Cronulla at sunrise.  I love that I see this photo when I first wake up in the morning.  I feel Inspired to get up and get outdoors and get down to the beach when I see this photo.

I get up earlier than normal and I am Happy to receive this message by email -
"There is nothing more important than what you are experiencing Right Now In This Moment." Amir Zoghi

"Nothing Kathryn, nothing.  Absolutely nothing can be more important than what you are experiencing in this moment.  Because there is nothing but this moment, anything you perceive to experience outside of this moment are simply thoughts, a thought from memory or a thought of the future.  This moment is real; anything else is only a shadow of this moment.  Where are you living Kathryn?  In life or in its shadows? The Universe"  

I love these words - this is a great basis of an Intention to carry with me today - especially, consciously on my morning Walk.  I become a witness to myself - observing my own self - it is interesting.  I notice that my mind is so active - so active.  By being a witness to myself, I am able to catch myself each time the Overthinker part of me comes onto the stage - often I am in the moment - and then I will see something that catches my heart and my attention and it may send me back into the past or into thoughts of the future.  For example I see an older couple walking together, hand in hand - and it is a lovely sight - of course it makes me think about love and relationships.  Or I just start thinking about my Coaching Business and what needs to get done this week.  And by being a Witness and Observer to myself, I am able to consciously choose the focus of my energy.  As soon as I am aware that I am moving away from this present moment, I imagine a Stop sign and then I bring myself back to the current moment - being aware of the sounds and sights Now In This Moment.

I love being outdoors, I love the surprises that the outdoors brings - such as this family of ducks.  I see them every morning.  And just as I imagined the Stop sign this morning - I enjoy seeing the ducks today.

I love being at the beach this morning.  As usual I love seeing everyone so active.  I am especially, as always, impressed with the ocean swimmers - watching them swimming at this time of year, while I am layered up with a tracksuit.  I am very Inspired.  I would love to be able to embrace swimming as my sport - I've often thought about being a brave ocean swimmer - yet I just feel the cold (so much).  And yet I am Inspired - perhaps I will start this Goal in Spring.  For now I will just watch the swimmers with admiration.

I just love being out in the sunshine.  I could walk all day.  And yet today I go to work, where I also hold onto the Intention to be Now In This Moment.  This is one of my Goals - to be Present.  My Strategy is to be an Observer to myself, so that I am more consciously aware.  And also by using the image of the Stop sign - this helps to bring me back to the Now - this is a good tool if I get lost in thoughts of my past or start worrying about my future.

I am reminded of a great quote that I saw the other day 

- "Today everything is possible, yesterday has gone"

Tonight I listened to a Webinar by Kristen Hansen - Mind Mastery - it was fantastic.  Kristen talks about being a Director of your thinking - that you are the Director and you can think about your thinking (meta-thinking - being an Observer) where you know you are not your thoughts, and you have a Choice about the thoughts that are helpful and that you can choose to keep or drop your thoughts.  Kristen talks about the difference between Narrative Circuitry (the busy mind, the constant chatting) versus the Direct Experience, where we are in the moment (Now In This Moment), in tune with the senses of the moment, Mindfulness - where we hear the birds singing.  I loved hearing this in the Webinar - especially since I loved hearing the birds singing this morning.

I loved the Webinar.  I love knowledge.  I am Passionate about being the best Coach I can be for my Clients - and that involves a Commitment to my own growth and continued learning.  And in my personal and professional life, I am always committed to my Mission to Spread The Yellow.  By being in the Now and by being totally Present, I have a knowing that I will be presented with so many wonderful opportunities to love and to serve.