It's Up To Me

It is 1 June - the first day of Winter.  At the beginning of the year I had made a Commitment to be up for the Sunrise on the first day of every month - I love being a Witness to the Sunrise.  This morning I was tired, I would have loved to just keep sleeping.

It is interesting to be an Observer to these two Parts of myself - the Part that wants to get up and out and see the Sunrise and the Part that wants to stay under my warm doona.  It is interesting now that I have discovered the two distinct Parts of myself of Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine - as it helps with my Internal Dialogue.  I feel my Yin wants to rest while my Yang wants to get up and out into ACTION.  I feel my Yang Part encouraging my Yin, reminding me of how much I love the Sunrise and asking Yin to "please get up, we made plans".  My Internal World is the same as a loving relationship between a Male and Female in the outside world - there is love, encouragement, negotiation, discussion.  When Male and Female come together and work together, there is MAGIC, there is ENERGY and warmth and light. 

It is funny thinking of these two Parts of me, and I am realising that Yin and Yang are almost like the Mother and Father of all my Sub-Personalities.  In my work with Sub-Personalities, I have learnt that when working with Inner conflict, there are usually two distinct Parts that want different things, that have different needs.  And I am now seeing that I can label each Part as either a Yin Sub-Personality or a Yang Sub-Personality - such as my Sub-Personality of my Couch Girl would be Yin and my Sub-Personality of my Sporty Kath would be Yang.  I also know that as well as a Yin versus Yang conflict, it is probable and possible that there could be a conflict between two different Yin Sub-Personalities or two different Yang Sub-Personalities.  In Coaching I love working with the empty chair and working with two Parts of myself or a Client - and now I have realised that my Yin and Yang can work together to help resolve the conflict and be in a place of love and understanding and support so that there is a Win-Win.  This is wonderful work.

I am still learning and getting to know these two Parts of me and I am always interested when different Sub-Personalities come onto the stage of my life.  And yet I can see that a greater understanding of Yin and Yang can help bring me into Balance.  When working with Inner conflict or facing a decision, I feel that there may be different Sub-Personalities, and yet I feel I can be in charge of my life, I AM in charge of my own life.  If I feel a Sub-Personality come onto the stage of my life, such as the Overthinker, my Yin Feminine whispers to her Beloved Yang that he should just rest and relax.  If I have a feeling of Self-Doubt, a Shadow on the side of my Yin, I feel my Yang man loving my Yin with reassuring and loving words. 

Best of all I feel that my Yin and Yang can help me achieve all my dreams - through the Strengths and Resources of both parts of me, and through their encouragement and support of the other Part of me - I feel like I can overcome all obstacles.  I  feel I have Choices and I can rely on myself.  I cannot say that I am not good at that, or I don't know how to do that, or live in fear or Shadow - as I now see  that I am all things, I have all these Parts to me that can be developed and brought into my life.  I have always loved these words - "If It's To Be, It's Up To Me".  I feel that from a place of Self-Love and Self-Confidence I have now springboarded to a place of Empowerment - where I can work with what is within my own control and using my power to make positive Choices.

My Yang was able to encourage Yin to get up this morning.  And what a wonderful morning.  I love being outdoors.  On my way to Cronulla Beach I decide to put some of my Flyers into letterboxes.  There has been no logical order to my letterbox drops - originally from a place of Yang I was planning on photocopying pages from a street directory to keep a record of the streets where I have given out my Flyers and also to keep a record of the numbers that I am distributing - and yet I just let my Yin be in the moment and let this be my guide - while my Yang is my feet on the ground.  When I am out the front of a unit complex, I just look at all of the different numbers and rather than putting a Flyer into every letterbox, I just let my Intuitive Yin part of me guide my Yang.  When I am putting my Flyers into different letterboxes, I find it interesting that there are so many different letterboxes, and then my Yang Thinker, thinks about all the different types of houses, and then I think about all the different people and families, living in the houses, and then my Yin has a sense of so many different stories and has a sense of Spread The Yellow, and I send love and light and Yellow with my Flyer.

It was so cloudy and so I didn't see the sunrise above the horizon, and yet I just loved watching the sky and walking along the beach.  I am glad that I took my camera this morning to take some shots of my beautiful morning.

 

I love the sky, I love the sky.  I could have stayed there all day.  I am also amazed when I watch the ocean swimmers, so fearless of the cold.  I have always thought I wanted to be an ocean swimmer and yet I get so so cold.  I am so Inspired when I am dressed up warm in a tracksuit and I see the swimmers in the ocean in Autumn and Winter.

I just love seeing people in the world, living their life, doing what brings them Joy.

When I get home I enjoy a Meditation.  I have a sense of me in Sunshine and I see a Visual of me and my Man and our Baby and my Nieces.  And then I see another beautiful image of me sitting on a picnic rug on the front lawn of my Parents' home and I am with my Mum and my Baby.  I love this image.  I also have an image of Yellow bubbles floating and yet they are more like Yellow feathers floating down on someone, with warmth rather than a cold burst of water, and then I get a sense of Yellow rose petals.

I have a strong belief that if a Goal is really important to me that It's Up To Me and my Yin and Yang will come together, work together. 

I could stay at home today and then I feel two Parts of Yang in conflict - one wants to keep writing - one knows it has to go to work.  My Yin reminds my Yang that I enjoy the Community at my work and that I do get a Sense of Achievement.  My Yin reminds my Yang that there will be time tonight to do what I love to do.

I get home and I do what I love to do - a relax and read in a hot bath, I make a Vegetarian risotto, time with my Man, enjoy a chai latte (made by my Man), Blog and Art Therapy.  I am loving my Yin and Yang and as I am a Visual person I enjoy some Art Therapy to create a picture of Yin, Yang and my Sub-Personalities and Shadow and Soul and Spirit.

This Art makes sense for me - perhaps this is the Yang part of me trying to put everything in a Logical order.  I see my Soul at my core, the Yellow in me, the part of me that is my Uniqueness, my Greatness.  And within my Yin and Yang parts of me, there are some Sub-Personalities (Xs) in the light, and some in the Shadow.  And I see Spirit, my God above me, and Spirit whispers to my Yin, and my Yin hears the voice through her Intuition.  And then there is a Wise One which is the part of me that can be the Observer to myself, can be the Counsellor to my Yin and Yang, believes in the greater good - my Wise One is a Resource to my Yin and Yang, a Resource to me.

I am in a loving, wonderful relationship with my Man.  And yet for the first time in a long time, perhaps forever, I am in loving relationship with My Self.  

Sometimes, when I write so many words in my Blog, or my Blogs are so long, I have this sense of Self-Doubt come up, that I "should" make them shorter, or I write or say "too much" - this is just my Overthinker, or People Pleaser Shadows - and yet my Yin and Yang Parts give me reassurance and remind me that this Blog is for me, this Blog is my Journey.  

I love that I can be Real...  I am Proud of myself for my Courage...  I am Proud to be Me... 

I am Very Happy that I have a knowing that It's Up To Me - It's Up To Me to make Choices, to put my Dreams into ACTION, to Live a Life I Love...