Being With My Emotions

After being at College all weekend with so much to learn, I have definitely been feeling a sense of overwhelm, so many Activities and Processes to learn so that they can aid us in working with our Coaching Clients.  

I was happy to complete all of the Activities that applied to my Physical Environment, and then in completing the Activities, this automatically led to new Awareness and then comes the work - more work.  And yet I also have a knowing that I do not need to put pressure on myself.  I can feel into my Intuition and I have a sense of the Areas in my life that need my attention.  I also have a sense that I want to exercise Exceptional Self-Care and focus on the basics - eating well, sleeping, relaxing.  

When looking at my Wheel Of Life, I rated my Health at a very low 2, and I am now taking Steps each day to help me in this Area in my life.  In particular, I am loving Yoga - very much loving Yoga - I am so Excited that I have finally started a regular class - it is wonderful - I am feeling less pain in my neck and back and definitely stronger in my body. 

I have also been enjoying Walking in Nature - I love getting out in the morning before I go to work.  I love walking in Gunnamatta Park - just being in the stillness.  I enjoy the time in Solitude.

Day 2 of our Course looked at our Emotional Level of Living and we talked about Needs.  For me time in Nature and Solitude are very important to me.  As explained by my Teacher, when our Needs are met, we are at our best.  For me, Walking in Nature is a positive way to start my day.  I love when I see Kookaburras - I love Birds and these are my favourite - bringing back childhood memories of holidays with my Family - and I just love the laughter of the Kookaburras.  I also love the Trees in the Park. 

I do miss my Running and yet it has definitely given rise to my new love of Walking in Nature and has renewed my love of Nature.  I remember at College a few months ago we talked about the new label of Nature Deficit Disorder - I use Google and look this up "a term coined by Richard Louv in his 2005 book 'Last Child in the Woods', refers to the alleged trend that children are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide range of behavioural problems" - interesting.  I remember at College we joked that a pill would probably be prescribed for this disorder.  Spending time in Nature in Solitude, and also Walking with my Man, is so important to me, and it will definitely be a Priority when we raise children.

On my morning walks I have been collecting rocks for my own Medicine Wheel.  On the weekend we created a Medicine Wheel and it was so beautiful and had so much meaning.  It has Inspired me to create my own Medicine Wheel.  I have collected 4 rocks for the main stones of North, South, East and West and I have 56 smaller rocks to collect - I am in no rush - I am just trusting the Gifts of Nature, as to what feels right for me to collect.  I am looking forward to displaying my Medicine Wheel in my Coaching Space from these rocks that I am collecting - especially with a knowing that they carry the energy of my favourite places in Nature.

As I refer back to my notes I see that one of the objectives of our learnings is to be able to connect in more fully with our emotional world.  Last night I experienced this first hand, Being With My Emotions.  I was contacted by someone from my past and it brought up a whole world of Emotions.  It took me back to a time seven years ago - a time that was filled with sadness and stress.  And as I sat in these Emotions, not being scared or overpowered by them, so many memories were triggered for me.  My Man was lovely and asked me what he could do to help me feel better, asking if I wanted to watch one of our favourite shows.  I just cried and said that Being With My Emotions was what I needed to do, rather than trying to move away from them.  And so I cried.  And I sat in Meditation, witnessing memory by memory, sad memories by sad memories, coming up for me.  It was like watching a movie of my life - seeing all of these scenes from times that I had been rejected.  And I just sat in the pain of the rejection.  The pressure on my neck was intense, as if the wounds of these unhealed Emotions were buried in my body.  And I just kept crying.  I went to bed early, crying, with my Man lying close by and giving me the Space to just be.  

I have been very conscious of wanting to heal any unresolved emotions, where I have a feeling that my back and neck pain stem from my past and from not processing my Emotions.  The other day I experienced the opportunity to deal with some unresolved anger through listening to a Louise Hay Meditation.  This Meditation was a good chance for me to look at unresolved feelings.  I initiated this Process and I actually thought that the Process helped.  Obviously the Universe and Spirit and God knew that I was strong enough to uncover another layer, where I needed to sit in the Pain of my past and just allow myself this chance of Being With My Emotions.  And now one day later, there is no longer the Emotional charge associated with these memories.  

I am learning that it is so important to be real and be with Emotions - that this is the path of healing.  It makes sense.  I look back on an old relationship break up, a long time ago now, 10 years ago, and I remembered being so upset.  I remember crying and crying and expressing my upset, crying while I cooked dinner, crying with Friends and Family.  And I remember being expressing my anger and heartbreak.  And then the crying stopped and day by day my heart began to heal.  And there was no longer an Emotional charge - I had allowed the time to Process my Emotions.

As I end my Blog tonight I would like to include a quote that was emailed to me this morning - this quote makes so much sense for me -
"Other people’s opinion of you will only affect you when you don’t have a concrete opinion of yourself.” – Amir Zoghi –

"Be more concerned about what you think of yourself Kathryn, rather than being so concerned about the opinion of others. An opinion of another individual is only determined by the opinion that they have of their self, so it cannot be a true opinion of you anyway. Just like your opinion of others is really an opinion about yourself.  The UNIVERSE"

Last night when I was crying, it brought up so many Emotions, and I did start to compare where I am at in my life versus Friends from the past - and then I remembered that none of this matters.  I am happy to be me - my life is a Gift.