Step By Step Towards My Goal

I lay in bed hearing the wind, suspecting it was raining - I was tired, feeling that it would be nice to sleep a little bit longer - so I hit the snooze button... twice.  Of course, I had pre-planned the extra time, just in case I needed snooze time.  Isn't that a good thing - knowing ourselves and being prepared for the obstacles.  I am happy to report that I was up and out of bed before the second snooze alarm sounded - that made me feel good.  Isn't it the little things that are the BIG things - and it is important to give ourselves a pat on the back.  Especially since it sounded so cold outside - it would have been easy to make up an excuse to sleep longer.

I am glad that I have the Goal to run - it definitely makes me feel excited!!  I make the bed as soon as I get up - less chance of being enticed back to slumber.  I have a Goal.  I have made a commitment.  Now I have to exercise my willpower and dedication to stick with the plan.

Out the door I run, it is windy, cold and cloudy, but I am happy to see the rainfall has stopped.  I am also happy to feel focused.  This morning I had visualised the run in my mind's eye - now I am just putting into action what I know is achieveable - the main goal is to run longer than Monday's run.  My main priority is to keep increasing the time Running - just Step By Step Towards My Goal. 

I am finding running easier, although anytime that it seems a bit tough I just repeat my affirmation to myself - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can - and I just keep running.  It is low tide and I am drawn to run along the beach - this was not the original plan, or the run I went on yesterday - but I decide to be flexible - as long as I beat Monday's 17 minutes.  I give myself permission to go in a new direction.  Running along the beach is challenging, very challenging - running in the sand is okay but the wind is strong, pushing me back, making it hard to move forward - at times I feel I am making no new ground, but I keep running - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can - I challenge myself - just focus on the seaweed, I say to myself - and once I am there, I nominate another milestone - Step By Step Towards My Goal.  At this time, it would be easy to give up, noone is watching, noone would know, what would it matter - but I don't entertain these thoughts - I can't imagine having these thoughts - this matters to me - this is about my Goal. 

I run as far as I can go, and have to turn around as the ocean is blocking access, so I turn back and am led to run up an alley of stairs, back to the street - this is tough - I keep repeating my affirmation and I find it gives me strength and focus to keep going - Coz I Can, Coz I Can, Coz I Can.  And then I am back in a familiar street and find myself facing another hill - another hill to climb, the hill from Monday - it is a tough hill.  I decide to approach the hill by just taking one step at a time, just watching the small space in front of my feet, not looking too far ahead, just Step By Step Towards My Goal. 

When I reach the top of the hill I am once again rapt - and I silently congratulate myself and keep on running - I am getting tired - yet I keep running - I decide my target time is 22 minutes, 5 minutes more than Monday's run - so I check the time on the phone and see I have a few minutes left - and I am tired - yet, rather than dragging my feet I decide to give this my best effort, I check my core, and make sure I am running tall (it's amazing that a change in posture can change the whole feeling within - I should mention my physio Aideen who has made me so conscious, in a positive way, of improving my posture -thank you).  I pick up the pace and race - I nominate a tree as the finish line, and I just go for it!!  And I feel great!!  Exhausted - but so great - as I have achieved today's Goal - and most importantly I have tried my best, I have given my all. 

I am feeling happy with my achievement.  I have always kept up my walking - yet running makes me feel like I am really exercising - I just love to run.  I have a framed running poster that I just love - it has a picture of a runner and then the following quote - I can relate to these words -

"The Essence of Running
Running is a road to self-awareness and reliance …

you can push yourself to extremes and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations
or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet.
But when you are through, exhilarated and exhausted,
at least for a moment everything seems right with the world…"

I then enjoy a leisurely walk home and I am fascinated by the seagulls.  They must be having a conference down at Cronulla - there are about 40 seagulls, gathered together on the beach, just near the water.  I have been quietly observing the behaviour of seagulls - just an observation a few times when I have been out walking - what I notice is that sometimes they stay with the group, sometimes they walk off on their own, sometimes they are off searching, other times they are just still and just silently stay, other times they run along, many times they fly, they fly and then they stop and rest... looks like they are just doing what feels natural to them at the time.  I realise that I can choose to be like a seagull, I can make it okay to be like a seagull - I don't have to fly all the time, or run around, or focus on busily searching - sometimes I can just relax and be still. 

How much we can learn from nature -

"Nature is an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in." George Washington Carver (1864-1943)

Of course I easily forget about the silence and stillness - as I get busy walking back home, busily in my mind, thinking, thinking, thinking.  It is only when I get a pull from my intuition, that makes me look back, that I realise I have walked past the Tree that was cut down - I then realise that there were actually 6 Trees cut down yesterday - again I feel saddened.  I also realise how easy it is to get caught up thinking, in the mind, thinking about the past, planning for the future, that I am not always present to the now - and I totally missed giving honour to the Trees that are important to me - just because I was busy in my mind.  Apart from my running Goal I am also in the journey of learning to be in the now and embrace the present and be able to set aside my mind to just 'be'.  I really like these words - Being in the moment involves giving maximum appreciation and love to your present experience."  Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart

This was just 1 hour of my day - running and walking - and it was such a precious part of my day.  In honouring myself and staying true to my commitments, plus all the energy that comes from exercise, I felt like I was ready for my day - able to go to work, talk to my family, enjoy quality time with my boyfriend.  I feel like I have energy to give, I am able to Spread The Yellow.

And I am always grateful to those in my life who Spread TheYellow to me - my boyfriend (gets a mention, as always) for sending me a lovely text message and for taking me out for dinner tonight to our favourite restaurant, my friend Aideen for her acknowledgement and for sharing her stories of how she naturally, so easily, can Spread The Yellow to her clients - and I also want to acknowledge my Operations Manager at my work for being thoughtful and giving us all Easter Eggs.  I am very grateful for the wonderful people in my life - thank you for being a witness as I am putting my dreams into action.