Bringing The Shadow To Light

What I LOVE about my Coaching Diploma is the wonderful opportunity for my own Self-Discovery and Self-Awareness.  

I am back at College tomorrow, for another Intensive 3 days.  In the last 6 weeks I have been working on an Assignment about my shadow.  I have loved the opportunity to learn about the concept of Shadow - that we are dark, as well as light. 

I am very much about the light, love happy and positive, and everyday I am grateful for all the wonderful in my life.  Today I enjoyed a 34 minute run (beating my last run's time by 2 minutes) and in that experience I see my own light - I am healthy, I am committed, I am motivated, I am determined.  I also enjoyed a wonderful day with my My Mr Wonderful and my Mum, Dad and beautiful Nieces - and I see the light in myself of loving, caring, happy, giving - it is wonderful being with my loved ones and so easily, so naturally I Spread The Yellow.

As well as recognising my light, I have also become conscious of my shadow. In the last 6 weeks I have been looking at my shadow - getting to know all parts of myself.  There is some great information on the web that helps describe the Shadow -
http://www.shadowdance.com/shadow/theshadow.html 
"The Shadow, is a psychological term introduced by the late Swiss psychiatrist, Dr. Carl G. Jung. It is everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied. These are dark rejected aspects of our being as well as light, so there is positive undeveloped potential in the Shadow that we don’t know about because anything that is unconscious, we don’t know about... The Shadow is an archetype. And what an archetype simply means is that it is typical in consciousness for everyone. Everyone has a Shadow. This is not something that one or two people have. We all have a Shadow and a confrontation with the Shadow is essential for self awareness. We cannot learn about ourselves if we do not learn about our Shadow so therefore we are going to attract it through the mirrors of other people."

I also loved reading the quotes on this website about Shadow Work -

http://www.reconnections.net/shadow2.htm

"One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star." ~ Friedrich W. Nietzsche

"Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. We meet our dark side, accept it for what it is, and we learn to use its powerful energies in productive ways." from Romancing the Shadow, Connie Zwieg, PhD., and Steve Wolf, PhD.

After reading information, definitions, descriptions and quotes, I knew that the best way for me to get an insight into my shadow, was to be an observer, a witness to myself - step outside myself to notice the shadow parts of myself - with a Goal of Bringing The Shadow To Light.  It has been an interesting and rewarding journey. 

This experience became the material for my Fairytale Assignment.  This is the second time that I have written a Fairytale for College and I just love this Process - it has been such a wonderful opportunity to get in touch with myself and my journey.

Welcome to my Fairytale
JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME - Bringing the Shadow to Light

Once upon a Time in a land far, far away lived Ms Happy

Life was great for Ms Happy – she had found her Mr Happy

Just as Ms Happy was getting comfortable – the Universe decided to shake things up a bit – pushing Ms Happy out of her comfortable career and her comfortable salary which put her at risk of having to move from her comfortable home

The Universe was giving Ms Happy the opportunity to choose, the opportunity to make new decisions

Ms Happy was happy, she believes that things happen for a reason, a good reason – and so she decided to move in the direction of her life calling, her life work and also move in with her Mr Happy

Perhaps this is where the Fairytale should end – and she would live happily ever after – the perfect ending – the Princess has met her Prince…

Yet, this is where the real story, the real adventure begins

Quite unexpectedly, just out of the blue, the once Ms Happy finds herself in a dark place – she has forgotten who she is, she has forgotten her name

She is now the Woman Dressed in Black – she is lost, confused, crying – it is black, it is dark - she is in the Dark Night of the Soul

There is light around her, yet she cannot see the light – she is in the shadows

The Woman is in the dark forest, the bush is thick - there is no clear walkway

The Woman feels trapped, like there is no way out – feeling that she may never be happy again

The Woman knows that there is a Man at the end of the forest, where she lives with him in their cottage – yet she knows that she cannot rush home to him - she has to make this journey on her own

The Woman knows that this is a beautiful opportunity to discover herself – her real self, all parts of her self - to remember her name

The Woman Dressed in Black sits in the dark, surrenders to the dark - the Woman Dressed in Black hates herself, feels that everyone hates her, is very down on herself

The next day, the Woman Dressed in Black has a knowing that she must start to walk – she ‘must’ keep moving, even if, ever so slowly - she does not want to sit for too long – she does not want to fall down the black hole – she has been down the black hole before, and she promised never to return

The Woman starts to walk, and she feels that there is someone following her - she looks around, looking over her shoulder

The Woman Dressed in Black recognises her EGO – the feeling of Everything Good is Outside herself, a familiar companion - and during this time of Trials and Tribulations, she is tempted to forgo the journey and race back home or search for a big job and big money to make it easier for herself

The EGO world seems attractive, and the Woman Dressed in Black is tempted to return – and the Woman remains true to herself and honours her journey

The Woman Dressed in Black does feel alone – alone in the dark forest – and so, if you can imagine, it is quite a surprise when she meets another in the darkness

At first the Woman is relieved to see another – yet very quickly she senses that she does not like this other woman – the Woman Dressed in Black thinks ”you are ‘Self-Obsessed’”

Yet within a moment – the Woman Dressed in Black realises that this ‘Self-Obsessed’ woman is not separate to her, she is a part of her – ‘Self-Obsessed’ is in her shadow. So she sits with ‘Self-Obsessed’, wanting to get to know this part of herself, and realises that she likes that this ‘Self-Obsessed’ part cares about her own appearance

In bringing this shadow to the light, the Woman realises that what is most important, is not her hair, but her heart and her smile and making eye contact with others, the love and caring she offers others – the Woman realises that the ‘Self-Obsessed’ part is actually worried about the opinions of others, wanting to be perfect for others, desired by others – and the Woman becomes aware that it is not what others think of her that is most important, but what she thinks of herself – her own self-love

The Woman Dressed in Black has lost her black jacket and black hood – she is feeling lighter

The Woman Dressed in Black keeps walking and sees another two women in her shadow – she quickly discovers that the one, just behind her, is the ‘Used To’ – she tells how she ‘Used To’ be a great runner, ‘Used To’ have a great job, ‘Used To’ have long hair, ‘Used To’ feel sexy. Once again, within minutes, the Woman realises that this ‘Used To’ woman is not separate to her – she is a part of her – the Woman embraces this part of herself – she likes that the ‘Used To’ part of herself treasures memories – by bringing this shadow to the light – the Woman realises that she can choose to remember what she loved about her life and herself and choose to bring those elements into her present life or her future

The other shadow is closely linked with the ‘Used To’ part of herself – it is the ‘Ghosts of the Past’ shadow – the Woman recognises this part in herself – sadly the ‘Ghosts of the Past’ shadow is telling stories and bringing up memories that do not serve her – to bring this shadow into the light, into awareness, the Woman decides that she will be thankful for the past and the lessons that have graced her life, and yet it is time to let go of the past – whenever this shadow resurfaces she will gently and quietly say to her shadow “Thank you for serving me on my journey, now I will be in the Present”

The Woman is feeling more motivated, like she is getting to know herself

The Woman sees the ’Gunna Girl’ shadow, she recognises her straight away, full of life and movement – she is in direct opposition to the ‘Ghosts of the Past’ shadow – the ‘Gunna Girl’ is so excited about the future, everything that she is ‘Gunna’ do. The Woman likes that ‘Gunna Girl’ is so enthusiastic and wants to jump into life and by bringing this shadow into the light, the Woman is able to have an awareness of all the wonderful adventures and experiences that she would like to bring into her life – and she can quietly observe them, rather than ‘always’ talk about them, and then make definite plans, doing what she feels inspired to do

The Woman keeps on the move – she then sees another shadow – this shadow is hiding. At first, she does not see this shadow, and then realises that this is the ‘Justifier’ – always justifying decisions or actions. The Woman is realising that these shadows are part of herself, and so once again she embraces the ‘Justifier’ – she brings the shadow into the light. The Woman is happy that the ‘Justifier’ part of herself is not afraid to articulate her point of view – and the Woman becomes aware that she is free to be herself, free without the need to explain or be a ‘Justifier’

The Woman is more aware that there are many parts of herself – parts that she has previously disowned – she is now seeing all these shadows. It is becoming so obvious that she is all things – light and dark. The Woman is now aware that she has a choice of how she can respond once these parts come up – and by bringing the shadow to the light, bringing into consciousness, these parts become softer and more gentle. Very importantly, the Woman realises that she can be gentle with herself – and she can also be open with her own truth

The Woman also understands that when she has a strong reaction to the parts of others, that these are usually parts of herself that she has not yet owned

The Woman meets the ‘Judge’ in her shadows – she is surprised – she had not realised, that she too has the capacity to ‘Judge’ – yet, even in her observation of others judging, she finds the ‘Judge’ part of her, judging others, for judging others. By bringing this ‘Judge’ shadow to the light, the Woman realises that while it is good to take an interest in others, she becomes aware that she cannot ‘Judge’ them for what she cannot possibly understand – the Woman loves to seek the beauty in others - and if the ‘Judge’ part of herself comes into her awareness, she will show empathy and compassion for others, and for herself

The Woman keeps walking, she is now feeling the sunlight behind her, and the Woman is not surprised when she sees other shadows on her journey – time to meet more parts of herself – some parts that she has previously not known belonged to her – plus others that she has kept hidden in her shadow

The Woman has ‘always’ been very active, loving to exercise every day, wanting to ‘always’ eat healthy food – plus ‘always’ wanting to be on the go and get a lot done - it is a surprise to her when she meets ‘Couch Girl’, who is so happy to sit on the couch and watch TV – followed closely by the ‘Chocoholic’ shadow that she has definitely kept hidden. The Woman is able to bring these 2 shadow parts of herself into the light – she realises that it is nice to relax and have a break and even be in balance and enjoy some chocolate – and make it more than okay, acceptable, enjoyable to embrace sitting on the couch, embrace a nice piece or two or three of chocolate. And the Woman realises that she has a choice – she can choose what part of herself to bring on to the stage of her life – if ‘Chocoholic’ is spending too much time on the stage, especially during Easter, she can choose to bring back the ‘Healthy’ part and have a green tea. For the Woman it is about balance, and not about making herself feel guilty or bad – she can embrace other, less familiar, parts of herself

As the Woman is getting comfortable embracing ‘Couch Girl’ and ‘Chocoholic’ out from the shadows steps the ‘Rush, Rush, Rush, Busy, Busy, Busy’ part of herself – she knows this part – and sometimes she thinks she has pushed it away – yet it is still part of her – so she remembers to thank this part of her – remembering how important this part has been for her, helping her get so much done. The Woman now knows that she can still call on this part of herself, and also allow ‘Couch Girl’ to come onto the stage, if she is getting too stressed or needs a break from doing, and can choose to just be

The Woman is not surprised to see the ‘Overthinker’ in her shadow – the Woman knows that this is a part of her – always thinking, analysing - her mind racing – yet by being aware of the ‘Overthinker’, by bringing into consciousness, into the light, the Woman is able to give the mind a rest, give herself a rest - thank her brilliant mind, and gently remind herself to let go of her mind, free her mind, focus on the breathe and just be in the moment, be in touch with her felt sense.

In the shadows, standing next to the ‘Overthinker’ is the ‘Comparer’ – this part of herself is very interested in books, and websites and skills and backgrounds of others – searching, seeking, asking to find out if she needs to do more, be more, read more, learn more – by bringing this shadow to the light – the Woman is able to just accept her own journey, trust her own journey, without the need to compare – she can continue to be genuinely interested in others, and trust that ‘I Am I’ and ‘You Are You’. If there is an area of study that will help her on her journey, she trusts that an opportunity will be presented from the Universe, and that this will resonate with her – no need to go on a search – just be on her own journey

The Woman feels comfortable now – it is like meeting friends – she is no longer in reaction – rather welcomes the shadow parts of herself with open arms. The ‘Parent’ shadow jumps out and introduces herself – once the Woman discovers the ‘Parent’ in the shadow – it is easy to recognise and name when the ‘Parent’ steps up onto the stage in her life. The Woman likes that the ‘Parent’ has concern for others, and gently reminds herself to just take a step back and trust the journey of another, that the other adults in her life are adults, who are capable of making their own decisions, based on their own truths – the Woman has to once again just focus on her own journey, her own truth

The Woman sees another shadow, another shadow part standing on her own - the shadow is holding a heart on a string

The Woman recognises that this is the ‘Wanter of Positive Reinforcement’ shadow – the part of herself that is wanting, looking for acknowledgement from others – she has seen this shadow surface at work, and come up with family and friends – it is that part of herself that longs for acceptance and relies on others to make her feel good. In bringing this shadow part to the light, the Woman is able to see, to truly see, that what is most important is the positive reinforcement, acknowledgement and affirmations that she gives herself – her opinion of herself is the most important – yahoo, the Woman is finally getting it – the ‘Wanter of Positive Reinforcement’ part and ‘Self-Obsessed’ part of herself hug and have a celebration dance – they are helping the Woman get to know herself and learn what is most important – they are helping her embrace her love of self

All the shadow parts of herself come together in celebration, with all their true colours, and the Woman embraces them all – ‘Self-Obsessed’, ‘Used To’, ‘Ghosts of the Past’, ‘Gunna Girl’, ‘Justifier’, ‘Judge’, ‘Couch Girl’, ‘Chocoholic’, ‘Rush, Rush, Rush, Busy, Busy, Busy’, ‘Overthinker’, ‘Comparer’, ‘Parent’ and ‘Wanter of Positive Reinforcement’. The Woman can see that these are all part of her – not separate to her – and the Woman is no longer afraid of meeting other shadows, other parts of herself – this is a wonderful journey of self-discovery

The Woman steps into the light - the Woman feels alive, real, authentic, true

                        

In knowing herself, the Woman is now aware that there are so many parts to herself – that she is dark and she is light – yet for now, in this moment, the Woman no longer feels in a Black state – the Woman is light, she is love, she is beautiful, she is peace

The Woman is starting to remember who she is, the Woman is seeing the light in herself, the beauty in herself, her radiance, her brilliance, her uniqueness, her greatness

The Woman gives herself permission to let her own light Shine

Deep within her, at her very core, the Woman feels love, and is inspired to Spread The Yellow – this is her Purpose, her Mission, her Vision

Yellow = Love, Warmth, Connection, Presence, Genuine Interest and Curiosity, I'm Interested In What You Have To Say, I'm Interested In Your Journey, I Care, I SEE YOU, YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO ME, JOY, Happiness, Positivity, Energy, Excitement, Enthusiasm, Eye Contact, Just Being With Another, A Smile, A Moment, A Kind Word, Words From Your Heart, A Hug, An Encouragement, An Acknowledgement, Gratitude, Appreciation, Gift Of Words, Gift Of Thoughtfulness, AWARENESS, Opportunity, Possibility, Right To Choice, Right To Choose, An Offering, An Invitation, Make A Difference, Make This Moment Count!!!

Spread The Yellow is about Sharing, Moment To Moment, Positive Energy - and in that Moment, in that Creation, there is a Far-Reaching, Flow into the Universe, a Domino Exponential Effect. 'The' is about Purpose and Intent - in those Moments, Taking A Moment to Spread The Yellow, these Moments come from a Natural, Heart-Felt, Genuine, Place of Love. It is the small things that are the BIG things

The Woman is ready to go home, home to her True Love

The Man greets her – he is always happy to see her, loves her, loves all parts of her, welcomes all parts of her, does not get scared by the shadow parts, just allows her to be – the Man is connected to her in his heart and sees the wonderfulness in the Woman

The Woman had once been Ms Happy, and has found her way through the black forest, survived trials and tribulations and in returning back to her True Love – in being in relationship with another – the Woman feels different – the Woman is more in touch with her Self

Mr Happy also recognises that the Woman is now different as a result of her journey – “Welcome Home Miss Sunshine, I Love You, You Light Up My Life”

Within their love, they allow space for the shadows in each other, the shadows in their relationship - they make it okay to be themselves, they name the shadow parts of themselves, embrace them, laugh and love

The Woman sees the Light in the Man – Miss Sunshine loves Mr Happy – this is unconditional love

Miss Sunshine knows that she cannot stay in the cottage forever with her True Love – she will always come Home to him, she Loves coming Home to him – and Miss Sunshine must go out into the world to Spread The Yellow

Mr Happy supports Miss Sunshine’s Vision to Spread The Yellow

Miss Sunshine sets off on her Mission – Miss Sunshine walks out into a Field of Yellow Sunflowers

… And they live happily, Yellow after...