Feeling Blue

I have been Feeling Blue - Yellow is always close to me and within easy reach - yet today I have been okay to sit with Feeling Blue - to just Surrender to it.  It would have been easy for me to get busy and run towards the Light - yet I have been okay with being Blue - at least for today.   Yesterday I woke up and had to find some Inspiration - I am noticing a pattern - so today I just allow myself, to make it okay, to honour my Feeling Blue.

I woke up in pain with my back and I had a headache - I definitely didn't feel well enough to go to work - and this is not good - work is important to me - I don't like letting my Boss down when I know he has scheduled me on a Project - and my need for the security of my pay is also high.  Yet today I choose Self-Care and decided to just rest and indulge myself in Blue.  I even gave a friendly directive to my Man that he doesn't have to cheer me up - that it is okay if I'm feeling Blue today.  My Man still took one of the pink roses from my vase of VERY beautiful roses (that he bought for me yesterday) and handed it to me and gave me a kiss. 

I look through 'The Blue Day Book' by Bradley Trevor Greive (that sits on my bookshelf) - great images they make me smile.

In my Feeling Blue today - there is a blankness, a feeling of no emotion, no energy, no excitement, no Yellow.  And so I honour this feeling of Blue - after breakfast I go back to bed for Meditation - I fall asleep, no alarm set, I just trust what my body needs right now.  There is so much that I could have done today - I read a few pages of a book and watched a bit of TV.  My Yang likes to be productive and get things done - yet my Yin is happy for quiet and rest as I am not feeling motivated or inspired or energised. 

I am so Feeling Blue that I even Google 'blue images' -

My Yin is enjoying this time - and then I am Inspired to look up bluebird - my Yin emotional part of me remembers having a bracelet with bluebirds -

My Yin is Inspired to get out the pencil case and paper and I do some Art Therapy for myself - I use every Blue crayon, pencil and texta that I have - as well as a black and then a yellow crayon.  I cannot draw - I am not an Artist - yet Art Therapy is fun - I actually love it - I can just colour and do what I want - there is no Judge here - I just draw from an emotional, spiritual level.

Whenever I am Feeling Blue, it is sometimes so reassuring - it reminds me that I am human and grounds me.  Feeling Blue also helps me in always having empathy for others - I do not believe that we can explain or Judge the emotions of another - or even Judge or disown our own Feelings.  Whenever I am Feeling Blue, I am very conscious of not falling down the black hole - I have been deep in the black hole before - a long time ago - another lifetime away - yet I remember - and this is what has brought me to Coaching - wanting to catch people before they fall down the black hole.  As I sit in Feeling Blue, I am very conscious of so much Yellow so close to me.


I find a drawing from my Man that he had previously drawn for me - this does make my heart sing.

I decide to go and rest - Meditation calls me...

WOW!!!  Something shifts in me after the Meditation - I feel much lighter - I feel surrounded by Light. 

In the Meditation I was able to witness, sense some beautiful images.  I had a sense that at first I was like a blue foetus, alone, all alone, a sense that I am separate to the world. 

And then I had this sense and visual of me standing up and rays of Light were coming through me and around me and the Yellow rays came within and I was Yellow and blue and then the Yellow and blue became green and then pink whirled around and through me, around me - it was incredible - I was connected to everything - the Universe, Light and Energy surrounded me, flowed to me, flowed through me, THE UNIVERSE IS THERE FOR ME.  After my Meditation, I look up images, these come close (yet so far) to the images of my experience (and I hold the image in my mind's eye). 

                       

                       

         

I then had a sense of looking over at the blue foetus and loving the blue foetus, this part of me, the part that is alone - and the blue foetus part of me, opens up and holds out its hands, my hands, my hands holding a heart. 

I then had an image of my Coaching logo, realising that I am not alone, that it is not only about me giving out my energy - yet that I am surrounded and loved by the Universe and that I will be guided and held in a space of Light to bring my dream to life.

This experience was AMAZING. I have heard others talk about such sensations and visuals - and how wonderful to experience this sense of Joy and Connection and Energy.

After my Meditation I feel ALIVE.  I look at the Artwork for my Flyer with fresh eyes.  I have been so in Yang mode, trying to get this 'done', getting quotes from different flyers, ACTION, ACTION - that I had abandoned some of my Yin.  I print out my Business Card and my Flyer and my Yin feels emotionally connected - my Yin intuitively knows that I can approve the Flyer Artwork.  I am excited as despite all the different quotes and that (unfortunately) printing on recycled paper is more expensive, this is not a difficult decision for me - I am committed to making business decisions that minimise the harm on Mother Earth - I email the Artwork to the printer and I can't wait to get my Flyers.  I can't wait to Spread The Yellow through my Coaching.

I feel that the Universe has given me the opportunity today to rest and relax.  I am Grateful that I didn't ignore or race away from my Feeling Blue - I actually enjoyed the quiet time, hanging on the couch time.  After my Meditation, I am also feeling less pain in my back.  The Meditation was so powerful.  I love to witness my emotions shifting naturally - without the need to force myself back to Yellow.

I have my energy back.  I am excited when I get a knock on the door - knowing it is my Box of Fruit and Vegetables that I ordered from a local Organic company.  It is a mystery box - a surprise!! And I am delighted - love that there is plenty of fresh fruit and love that there is broccoli, my favourite.

I make a Vegetarian pasta dish - happy!!!  And now I watch "Australia's Got Talent" - GREAT SHOW!  I just love to see people Passionate about what they are doing, committed to their Passion, giving it a go - and I loved the words of one of the contestants, a beautiful opera singer - love these words - "IT'S MY TIME NOW"...