Listen To Your Heart

It has been a busy weekend planning our wedding - tomorrow it will be 7 weeks until our big day.  Planning our wedding has been an interesting exposure to many key learning opportunities for me - one of the main reminders for me is about the importance to Listen To Your Heart. 

In planning a wedding, there are so many decisions to be made - it is actually a great exercise in decision making.  It is interesting that over the course of my life I have always viewed myself as someone who is indecisive, believing that it is a trait of me being of Libra starsign.  I have even completed management courses on decision making and yet for a long time I have struggled with making decisions, even believing that I have made so many bad decisions, wrong decisions, and I have found it humorous that I still make bad decisions after studying the process through courses and reading books.

I have previously thought that one process of decision making was to get out a piece of paper and write down all of the pros and cons, the for and against - and through this process, what seems to be the obvious decision "should" appear (this is the theory).  And yet often this is a process that just involves thinking, not always how we are feeling.  A good example of this process is when in the 'Sex and the City: The Movie' Miranda and Steve separate and Miranda is deciding if she should reconcile the marriage and she spends time writing her list.  It is interesting that this does not reveal the truth to her - it is only when she listens to herself, her heart, her own Truth that she races to meet her Husband on Brooklyn Bridge and they kiss and express how much they love each other.

Through my Coaching Course and over the last two years I have learnt the fail proof way to make decisions, it is such a simple process, a simple Truth, a Truth that I am still practicing and perfecting and a Truth I want to share with My Man, Family, Friends - very much with my Clients.  THE TRUTH - Decision Making 101 - Listen To Your Heart.

I don't know when we stop listening to our own Heart, perhaps when we go to school and we start learning all of these facts and figures and there is so much emphasis on thinking and using our minds.  Or is it when we start high school and we experience peer pressure and "try hard" to fit into the crowd.  Or is it through reading all of the magazines and watching all of these advertisements and we strive for perfection according to what "they" say - always trying to please others.  No wonder we get confused and lose a sense of ourselves.

As you Listen To Your Heart, it is definitely not a process of thinking - it is a process of feeling, listening, sitting in the quietness - what is our gut feel, what is the feeling in our body - and it is in the quietness we can hear the call of our Soul - it is in the spaciousness that we can feel Spirit rising.

One of the main areas of my Coaching work is helping Clients get in touch with their own Truth and to live from this place.  I love my work as a Coach, it is so rewarding.  It is also very important to me that I am an Integral Practitioner, that I live my own Truth and apply what I am learning.

My wedding has been a great opportunity to practice being true to my Self.  When it comes to a wedding, everyone has an opinion of how it "should" be done, what is expected - and there are so many magazines (beautiful images) that draw us in - and it is easy to get caught up with the excitement and wanting the day to be perfect.  And of course there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be perfect in our own way.

Today I had a tough moment with my Mum.  I love my Mum so much, my Mum is my best friend.  I worry about my Mum and I am so Grateful that my Mum is feeling well and that she will be with us to celebrate our special day.  Today my Mum came over to look at my dresses - I have 2 dresses that have been hanging in my cupboard as potential wedding dresses.  There is the cream lace wedding dress that is beautiful and that my Mum loves - and I like.  And there is my very special Yellow gown that I LOVE.  I showed my Mum my Yellow gown with my beautiful brooch and my beautiful shoes that I bought yesterday (I love my shoes - I finally get how Carrie in 'Sex and the City' feels so much love of shoes - it is true they make my dress more beautiful).  As soon as I put on my Yellow dress I felt magical, I felt special, I felt alive, I felt confident, I felt beautiful, I felt ME.  My Mum liked the dress - more than she had the first time she had seen it - and I felt we had turned a corner.  Unfortunately I made the mistake of trying on the other lace dress, after my Mum asked me to try it on - and then I saw the look in my Mum's eyes - she liked the lace dress more - best of all.  For me the lace dress is beautiful and yet I do not feel it is the right dress for me.  I took off the dress, put it in the bag and felt disappointed and upset, very disappointed.  My Mum also looked sad and said that she was just telling me her opinion.  I told my Mum that I loved my Yellow dress, that this was right for me, that this felt right for me.  I told my Mum that she had raised me to be an individual, to be my own person and most of all I wanted my Mum to say that most of all she just wanted me to be happy and to wear the dress that made me happy.

I felt sad that my Mum was upset.  It made me very sad.  And yet I know that wearing the dress I love on our wedding day is just a symbol of my decision to live my own Truth, to follow this sacred principle of Listen To Your Heart.  And I do believe that by listening to my Heart and following my Truth, that this is Inspired by God - forever and always encouraging me to be true to my Self, to be my Self, loving me for my Self.

After my Mum left I played one of my favourite songs - 'Who Are You Listening To' Ginny Owens
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqEbOaD3Qa8
I love these words -
"This is your life,
And yet somehow,
They decide,
What you're about,
You learn your lines,
And take your cues,
But who are you listening to?

You change your clothes,
And how you speak,
You place your hope,
In what they think,
Before you know
There's no more you,
Who are you listening to-
Have you noticed how much you fear,
All the voices you choose to hear

Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you,
So who are you listening to

This is your life,
You have no choice,
You will rely
On someone's voice,
And it's all right
To question who,
Who are you listening to?
Do the words that you believe
Set your soul and spirit free

There's a quiet voice,
Whispering in your heart,
It's been there all along,
It believes in you,
It will tell the truth,
Can't you hear it call?" 

I love this song.

About 10 minutes after my Mum left, I received a call from my Mum.  My Mum told me that she liked my Yellow dress - I was overcome with emotion hearing my Mum's voice and don't really remember the exact words.  I told my Mum that I loved her and my Mum said "I love you and that's why I want you (don't think it was that exact word) to wear the dress that makes you happy".  I could hear my Mum was emotional and was crying ((unlike my Mum (not very unlike me, I am often getting emotional, including now as I watch'Australia')).

Our wedding is 7 weeks away tomorrow and there are still decisions to be made and I am committed to listening to my Heart and loving My Man as we work together to create our special day - and that's another lesson for me - in relationship, the importance of staying true to my Self AND also listening to, and honouring, what makes My Man happy.  It is true that in the planning of our wedding, I am learning so much, and practicing skills that will serve us forever and always in our relationship.

It is now 12.01am Monday - now it is today - 7 weeks away will be our day.

Sad Realities

It is so devastating what is happening in Queensland with the Flood Crisis.  Yesterday I was writing about Happy Days, and today is very much about Sad Realities.  My whole blog from yesterday seems so unimportant.  Yesterday seems a world away, especially for the people of Queensland,  and for all of us, our fellow Australians, our Brothers and Sisters.  Tragedy happens every day, the news is full of Sad Realities and I often find myself moved to tears - and when it is so close to home, it becomes even more real (sadly) since there is widespread sorrow.  There is coverage on all the main channels as we watch with horror and hopeful anticipation that there will be a miracle as they look at the weather forecasts in the next few days.

Watching the footage brings tears to my eyes.  As I sit here comfortable in my lounge room, after having a nice meal with My Man and now making myself a cup of tea, it is hard to believe what is happening so close to home.  It is tragic.  Words cannot capture the enormity of what is happening.  The footage does not seem real - and as it is so real, I find myself choked with emotion. 

The statistics are rising - 10 people dead, with 5 children among the dead, 78 people missing, 75% of Queensland a disaster zone, 1,500 Queenslanders evacuated.  There are 32 new suburbs at risk with 6,500-9,000 properties in Brisbane expected to be flooded (15,000 people), a power shut down in Brisbane.  The Brisbane flood will be worse than the 1974 flood.  Statistics are terrifying and hearing the story of a 4 year old boy swept away is devastating - my Nieces age  - a beautiful child lost and taken from loved ones.  I also can't even imagine the fear being experienced with people waiting to be evacuated and others waiting to hear that their loved ones are safe.  It is unbelievable.

Julia Gillard says "Stand shoulder to shoulder with the people of Queensland" and it is impressive seeing people helping each other, supporting one another.  How wonderful to see all of the charities and volunteers doing what they can - the beautiful spirit of people shines through in the darkness.  They are setting up accommodation in safe and dry environments and providing hot meals.  

It does make me think what can I do - as we sit here in NSW.  I am motivated to donate money and it is encouraging to see how much money is being raised to help support Queenslanders.  And although I am glad to be far away and safe, I feel helpless, I would be happy to be working in the evacuation centres making sandwiches or offering support to people in trauma - just to sit with people and be there in understanding.

And I can pray.

It is a reminder of how fragile life can be - despite our planning and our setting Goals for our future, life and death and tragedy can present itself to us when we least expect it.  Today I also found out that another member of our Family, a young member of our Family has cancer.  And I can pray.

Dear God,

Please be with the people in Queensland and give people strength to face this terrible tragedy.  Please keep your Sons and Daughters safe.  Please perform a miracle and ease the rain so that healing and restoration can begin.  Please inspire our local and global communities to support those affected and give what they can.  

Dear God, please offer healing to my Mum and my Cousin, that they may be 100% healthy and live a long and happy life.  Thank you God for your blessings.  Amen

It may be easy during these times of tragedy and uncertainty and sadness to question our faith and God - this would have been my energy years ago - and while I do not have the answers and I don't understand and I wish things were different - I will continue to pray and have faith. 

And as I hear that 3000 homes will be flooded in Ipswich, it is reassuring to see Kevin Rudd in Queensland - may his strength offer support to the local people.  Kevin Rudd also encourages Australians who are of "prayful mind" to offer prayers to the Queensland people.

And it is one year on from the Haiti Earthquake - devastating as they struggle to rebuild and recover.

How can we possibly imagine or totally understand as these Sad Realities tear at our heart.

Here is a song that really speaks to me - 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWUimGv_xrU&feature=related

Happy Days

I have been having some very Happy Days in the last week - new adventures, catching up with friends and finally a day at the beach -yay!!! 

After having a relaxing holiday, plenty of relaxation and sleep I headed up the Coast to visit my great friends who have recently moved to a new home.  For over a year now my friends have had a Vision to live on land and be self-sufficient, growing their own food, water tanks, solar power, remote location, no financial pressure - this has been their dream.  And how great to see them living their Vision.  My Man and I have been planning this trip up the Coast for months and after him hurting his back playing golf, I decided to venture on my own.  I met my friends in their nearest town Wingham - and how great to see them.  After getting our shopping and some local sightseeing, I was happy to drive to their home and wow, I was amazed, they live up a Mountain, right in the middle of over 500 acres of bushland - they call their home Paradise Mountain.  Once we were at the home, I couldn't believe the beautiful views in every direction - truly Paradise.

They have a Rooster called Bruce, chickens and 200 varieties of fruit trees (WOW!!!) and a permaculture garden - lucky for them, the previous owner is a horticulturist and so he has done so much.  There is such diversity in the vegetation - I enjoyed white strawberries and also heard about the unusual fruit and seeds such as an ice cream bean that tastes like ice cream, as well as so many other delights.

I loved spending time with my friends - they are great company and I felt Inspired by their lifestyle - quite incredible - their wood oven heats the water for the shower and washing up and they have beautiful fresh rainwater,  their lights are all solarpowered and they also have water from the freshwater creek for watering their gardens - no water or electricity bills and they are definitely committed to doing their bit for Mother Earth.  I loved that there was no television - silence - I loved the silence - I love silence!

I also loved our trip to Ellenborough Falls - this is one of the largest single-drop waterfalls in the southern hemisphere.  We enjoyed a nice walk down to the bottom of the waterfall - beautiful, breathtaking!!!  

A few members of our group headed down to the rocks and enjoyed the spray from the waterfall.  I would have liked to be spontaneous and adventurous but my common sense and fear of slipping on the rocks won and I stood on the sideline.  However, I was so hot walking back up the stairs, on the return  up the  valley, that I wished I had have taken the chance to go for a swim in one of the rock pools.  It was a big effort walking back up all the stairs - thank goodness for the seats along the way - we took every opportunity to sit down and rest and then gather our strength for the next round of steps.  Once upon a time, what seems like a lifetime ago now, I would have been racing up those stairs.  It was a great day with friends.

I look forward to other adventures in the countryside of my friends' new home, many more Happy Days to be enjoyed - next time we will enjoy the walk to their creek, there is a local vineyard, also a nearby cheese factory, and I am really excited to visit their nearest beach which I have been told has the most beautiful stones (and I have seen some of their collection).

Talking about the beach - another of my very Happy Days this week was when My Man and I went for a nice long walk along our local beach and enjoyed such a great swim at Darook Beach.  I love the ocean.  I love warm sunny days.  I just love being in Nature.  I especially love floating on my back in the water - love it!!!  I didn't take my camera and it was nice being so Present to the day - I love my camera and love taking photos and sometimes it seems that you miss being in the moment, sometimes.  And how great that I found this great picture on the internet - this is Darook - it is a beautiful paradise.

I definitely look forward to many more Happy Days just enjoying our local beach.  It is one of my greatest joys.

And so after a few weeks holiday it was back to work today.  I have really enjoyed having a rest - sleeping in, sometimes even having an afternoon nap - just time to relax - I couldn't believe how tired I have been over the last few weeks.  And yet today, I was happy to get up early so that I could enjoy some "me time", some quiet time, before heading to work.  I was organised in allowing time to snooze my alarm clock twice, enjoyed some quiet time reading inspiration for about 5 minutes and then went Walking to the Bay, one of my favourite places.  I love being outdoors - even when it started pouring rain and I had no umbrella, I felt happy to just be alive and out enjoying the start to the day.  I realise that it would be easy to sleep in, usually this is a much easier option and yet by making a Commitment to get up and get out before work, I can have the best chance of having Happy Days.

On my walk today I was thinking about thoughts and our ability to change our thoughts.  I am usually conscious of not getting caught up in my thoughts when I am out in Nature (as I do not want to miss the beauty that surrounds me), usually only allowing myself a certain part of the walk or a set time to allow thinking, although always open for inspiration.  I was thinking that it would be easy for me to not have a happy day at work, especially since my Team Leading role is separate to my lifework of being a Life Coach - and yet I can choose positive, happy thoughts.

I was reflecting that my thoughts are not me, they are just a perception.  And from my own experience and witnessing this in others, I see how negative thoughts just attracts more negativity - more negative thoughts or negative people - contributing to us feeling lousy, unhappy, powerless.  And I am on a mission to have Happy Days and so I came up with an easy acronym for a process to help put negative thoughts at an arm's length away:

A - Awareness - Being an observer to my thoughts can help me identify if I am being negative or holding thoughts that do not serve me - I may not speak these thoughts but even internally thinking them is keeping my mind busy and not bringing me peace.  Sometimes just an Awareness of my thoughts, "hmm, that's interesting..." can be enough to allow me to move on in a different direction, without any negative thoughts attaching to other thoughts.  The key for me is to not be caught up thinking or overthinking, the Goal for me is to be present in the moment.

R - Reframe - With recurring thoughts that do not serve me, I can Reframe them, look at it from another angle - what is another way I can think about this person, person's behaviour, situation?  I can think of at least 5 other explanations or possibilities?  I can reframe the negative thoughts to have a positive spin - at least for 2-3 new thoughts - by moving to a positive thought - positivity attracts positivity

M - ME - "If it's to be, it's up to ME" - What is in my Power?  What can I change?  I love the Serenity Prayer, "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference".  I can reflect what is the message for me and what choices do I have to make changes within my sphere of control - this allows me to feel empowered.

- Acceptance - perhaps I can just accept this situation and let this go from my worrying and overthinking
- Alteration - I can choose a pattern breaker to alter my thoughts that are not serving me - for example, every time I have a thought that is not serving me, such as thinking about a past issue that I cannot change, I can image a bright red STOP sign to help me stop thinking these thoughts

- Affirmation - I can say a positive affirmation to strengthen new beliefs 

- Action - perhaps I can speak to someone or change something to make this situation or relationship better
- Attitude - I can choose to look at the positives and as I look at the situation in a new positive light, I will begin to gather evidence that will support these new thoughts, with the Reticular Activating System in my brain activated to support me (a good example of when the RAS is activated is when you may buy a new car - let's say a Ford Focus - your friend suggests this car to you, you buy one, and then you see them so often, much more than you ever noticed them before, it seems that a lot of new people have also just bought this new car - actually your RAS is just activated so that your attention is alerted) - so I can choose to say I enjoy my work and I will begin to see evidence that supports this belief.

I love that in Positive Psychology in defining Happiness, for a rich and meaningful life, this will involve a range of different emotions and I love that I have learnt to sit with the depth and darkness of pain and sorrow and be so present to joy in my life.  And I also believe I can be active in having Happy Days, whether that involves a walk in Nature, or simply me choosing how I choose to look at every day.  I don't want to waste my days or life, just feeling that I am in Groundhog Day or "I hate Mondays" or "I hate work" - I intend to Love My Life and be Grateful for all of the Gifts in my life.  A ritual that I love, that I intend to make time for every night, is to name 3-5 things that I am Grateful for from my day and it is important for me to thank God and Spirit - to be Grateful to God and Spirit - to pray, to reflect, to rejoice.

So here's to many and most Happy Days in 2011!!!

2011!!!

2011!!!  I love the beginning of a New Year - it is such a great chance to set a Vision for the New Year - it is always a great chance for reflection and a great opportunity for excitement. 

It has been great being on holidays this week - just a chance to relax and recharge and get ready for NOW, the New Year, 2011!!!  One of my favourite things this week has been going to the Moonlight Cinema - I love being outdoors and I love movies and so it is a perfect enjoying this setting with My Man.  We watched 'Life As We Know It' - a love story with a baby, loved it, love love stories, love babies.

This week I have also loved the chance to read a novel - wow - a story - fiction.  I have always loved  reading non-fiction, self-development books - and since becoming a Coach I now read personal development books with a broader agenda, which means I am always thinking how I can apply this knowledge for myself and to help my Clients.  And so WOW - how great it feels to not think and just read a story.  I read 'The Forgotten Garden' by Kate Morton - loved it - loved it so much that I just wanted to keep reading every chance I got - and what a great way to relax.

Another highlight this week has been planning our wedding - still a lot to do - and yet we got started.  It is exciting and there is so much to do - and I feel relaxed trusting it will all come together. 

New Year's Eve was great!!!  We went to our favourite restaurant - an intimate Japanese restaurant - great food - just the two of us.  We had been invited to a party with friends and yet we also like to enjoy a quiet night together as a great way to begin the New Year.

I loved the chance to reflect on our highlights of 2010 over dinner - so many highlights - getting engaged, starting to try for our own baby, my Mum feeling healthy, my Dad bouncing back after heart surgery, starting my own Coaching Business, My Man getting a new job (his dream job), My Man's Mum enjoying a nice holiday, time with my Nieces, time with our Families, day trips, dinners out, birthday celebrations, holiday away to Nelson Bay.  For us there have been big things - and there has been much simplicity and small things being the big things.

After a lovely dinner, we enjoyed taking a walk along the beach  I really love where we live.  And then at home I loved watching a love story and watching the fireworks.  It was nice to be at home when we enjoyed the 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 Happy New Year 2011!!!  It is great to feel so at home in our home, feeling so at home in my Self, feeling so at home with another.  How many New Year's Eve nights, how many nights was I wishing I would kiss My True Love - I have always been looking for Love - and now I can stop searching - YAHOO!!!

So here we are - 2011!!!  We enjoyed a nice lunch with Family and then a nice relaxing afternoon - a perfect start to the New Year.  And how do I want this year to be for me - where do I want to be when I am sitting here on the first day of 2012 - how will I know it has been a great year?  This time next year I will be a happy wife, a Mum, we will be living in a new home, my main work will be my lifework working one on one with my Coaching Clients and also running Workshops and Group Coaching and I will be writing books.  What will not change - the most important thing to me is time with everyone I Love - Love will always be most important to me.

I love that I have my Vision Board for my Life Design in our bedroom - it is great seeing this when I wake up everyday - it is simple and it is clear - everything that is important to me.

And I love that I am in touch with my Passions and my Values.  I have these on a board that I will also post up next to my bed - so that everyday I will remember what makes me feel alive - here I am 2011!!!

This is what it reads -

What are my PASSIONS?  What Brings Me Alive?
How would I wish to spend my last day on earth? 
Actually this is how  I want to LIVE EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE...
”And these are a few of my favourite things...”

Love - Partner, Family, Friends, Clients, Love to All - I also can’t wait to be a Mum and have our own beautiful baby

God  -  Living InSpirit - Open to Inspiration, Space for the Rising of Spirit, Belief that we are all here for a Divine Purpose - I Am Here to Love and Serve

Connection - One-on-one sharing of Sacred Space, PRESENCE with another - Seeing, Honouring, Acknowledging the Light and Gifts in another - Loving and Encouraging Uniqueness and Greatness  (Unity in Diversity, Joy of Differences and Similarities, Moment-to-Moment we can Rejoice in ‘X-Factor’ in each other - one of my favourite parts of College has been enjoying and being a Witness to the AMAZING Gifts and Uniqueness in each of us - WOW,  AND Connection even when it is hard - Conscious Acceptance and  Love of What Is...)

Coaching - I am very Passionate about Coaching  and the opportunity to help Clients feel Self-Love, learn to be true to Self and feel Empowered to Create a life that Inspires and Excites them

Nature - Birds, trees, flowers, walking through the bush, floating in the ocean

Personal Development - Learning, Reading, Studying, Self-Reflection, Growth

Balance - Being/ Doing, Life/ Work, Personal/Professional, Solitude/ Intimacy - Allowing Space in my life for new interests to emerge - looking forward to enjoy time for sewing, writing, cooking, creating

Health - Self-Care Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually

Gratitude - Daily Reflection of all the beauty, wonders, miracles and Gifts in my life

Community - Feeling of Home and Belonging - Desire to Contribute - Feeling a sense of Love and Connection with others - Passionate about Encouraging Community to be Inclusive rather than Exclusive - Passionate about Contributing and being of Service Locally and Globally

Being Present - Mindfulness, Living in the Moment, Being Spontaneous and EMBRACING NOW,  Enjoying Now, Trusting the Flow.

And I find that by Being Present in 2011 I am able to enjoy the Gifts of every day.  Today when I am glancing out the window I am so Grateful for the Frangipani Tree that I can see - the flowers are beautiful - a Gift from God, and I have such great thanks.

And now I am so Grateful that I can make a nice cup of peppermint tea and relax with my Man.

To 2011 - to making every day a great day living a Passionate life.  To making dreams come true.  To being Me.  And so important is to Love and Serve - to live my life on Purpose - to Spread The Yellow.

2011!!!  I am ready.