Listen To Your Heart

It has been a busy weekend planning our wedding - tomorrow it will be 7 weeks until our big day.  Planning our wedding has been an interesting exposure to many key learning opportunities for me - one of the main reminders for me is about the importance to Listen To Your Heart. 

In planning a wedding, there are so many decisions to be made - it is actually a great exercise in decision making.  It is interesting that over the course of my life I have always viewed myself as someone who is indecisive, believing that it is a trait of me being of Libra starsign.  I have even completed management courses on decision making and yet for a long time I have struggled with making decisions, even believing that I have made so many bad decisions, wrong decisions, and I have found it humorous that I still make bad decisions after studying the process through courses and reading books.

I have previously thought that one process of decision making was to get out a piece of paper and write down all of the pros and cons, the for and against - and through this process, what seems to be the obvious decision "should" appear (this is the theory).  And yet often this is a process that just involves thinking, not always how we are feeling.  A good example of this process is when in the 'Sex and the City: The Movie' Miranda and Steve separate and Miranda is deciding if she should reconcile the marriage and she spends time writing her list.  It is interesting that this does not reveal the truth to her - it is only when she listens to herself, her heart, her own Truth that she races to meet her Husband on Brooklyn Bridge and they kiss and express how much they love each other.

Through my Coaching Course and over the last two years I have learnt the fail proof way to make decisions, it is such a simple process, a simple Truth, a Truth that I am still practicing and perfecting and a Truth I want to share with My Man, Family, Friends - very much with my Clients.  THE TRUTH - Decision Making 101 - Listen To Your Heart.

I don't know when we stop listening to our own Heart, perhaps when we go to school and we start learning all of these facts and figures and there is so much emphasis on thinking and using our minds.  Or is it when we start high school and we experience peer pressure and "try hard" to fit into the crowd.  Or is it through reading all of the magazines and watching all of these advertisements and we strive for perfection according to what "they" say - always trying to please others.  No wonder we get confused and lose a sense of ourselves.

As you Listen To Your Heart, it is definitely not a process of thinking - it is a process of feeling, listening, sitting in the quietness - what is our gut feel, what is the feeling in our body - and it is in the quietness we can hear the call of our Soul - it is in the spaciousness that we can feel Spirit rising.

One of the main areas of my Coaching work is helping Clients get in touch with their own Truth and to live from this place.  I love my work as a Coach, it is so rewarding.  It is also very important to me that I am an Integral Practitioner, that I live my own Truth and apply what I am learning.

My wedding has been a great opportunity to practice being true to my Self.  When it comes to a wedding, everyone has an opinion of how it "should" be done, what is expected - and there are so many magazines (beautiful images) that draw us in - and it is easy to get caught up with the excitement and wanting the day to be perfect.  And of course there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be perfect in our own way.

Today I had a tough moment with my Mum.  I love my Mum so much, my Mum is my best friend.  I worry about my Mum and I am so Grateful that my Mum is feeling well and that she will be with us to celebrate our special day.  Today my Mum came over to look at my dresses - I have 2 dresses that have been hanging in my cupboard as potential wedding dresses.  There is the cream lace wedding dress that is beautiful and that my Mum loves - and I like.  And there is my very special Yellow gown that I LOVE.  I showed my Mum my Yellow gown with my beautiful brooch and my beautiful shoes that I bought yesterday (I love my shoes - I finally get how Carrie in 'Sex and the City' feels so much love of shoes - it is true they make my dress more beautiful).  As soon as I put on my Yellow dress I felt magical, I felt special, I felt alive, I felt confident, I felt beautiful, I felt ME.  My Mum liked the dress - more than she had the first time she had seen it - and I felt we had turned a corner.  Unfortunately I made the mistake of trying on the other lace dress, after my Mum asked me to try it on - and then I saw the look in my Mum's eyes - she liked the lace dress more - best of all.  For me the lace dress is beautiful and yet I do not feel it is the right dress for me.  I took off the dress, put it in the bag and felt disappointed and upset, very disappointed.  My Mum also looked sad and said that she was just telling me her opinion.  I told my Mum that I loved my Yellow dress, that this was right for me, that this felt right for me.  I told my Mum that she had raised me to be an individual, to be my own person and most of all I wanted my Mum to say that most of all she just wanted me to be happy and to wear the dress that made me happy.

I felt sad that my Mum was upset.  It made me very sad.  And yet I know that wearing the dress I love on our wedding day is just a symbol of my decision to live my own Truth, to follow this sacred principle of Listen To Your Heart.  And I do believe that by listening to my Heart and following my Truth, that this is Inspired by God - forever and always encouraging me to be true to my Self, to be my Self, loving me for my Self.

After my Mum left I played one of my favourite songs - 'Who Are You Listening To' Ginny Owens
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqEbOaD3Qa8
I love these words -
"This is your life,
And yet somehow,
They decide,
What you're about,
You learn your lines,
And take your cues,
But who are you listening to?

You change your clothes,
And how you speak,
You place your hope,
In what they think,
Before you know
There's no more you,
Who are you listening to-
Have you noticed how much you fear,
All the voices you choose to hear

Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you,
So who are you listening to

This is your life,
You have no choice,
You will rely
On someone's voice,
And it's all right
To question who,
Who are you listening to?
Do the words that you believe
Set your soul and spirit free

There's a quiet voice,
Whispering in your heart,
It's been there all along,
It believes in you,
It will tell the truth,
Can't you hear it call?" 

I love this song.

About 10 minutes after my Mum left, I received a call from my Mum.  My Mum told me that she liked my Yellow dress - I was overcome with emotion hearing my Mum's voice and don't really remember the exact words.  I told my Mum that I loved her and my Mum said "I love you and that's why I want you (don't think it was that exact word) to wear the dress that makes you happy".  I could hear my Mum was emotional and was crying ((unlike my Mum (not very unlike me, I am often getting emotional, including now as I watch'Australia')).

Our wedding is 7 weeks away tomorrow and there are still decisions to be made and I am committed to listening to my Heart and loving My Man as we work together to create our special day - and that's another lesson for me - in relationship, the importance of staying true to my Self AND also listening to, and honouring, what makes My Man happy.  It is true that in the planning of our wedding, I am learning so much, and practicing skills that will serve us forever and always in our relationship.

It is now 12.01am Monday - now it is today - 7 weeks away will be our day.