Building Bridges

Decision making - I thought I had it sorted now - I thought I was getting in tune with my Intuitive Yin and then getting my Action Yang part of me to make it happen.  I had been so sure that the right decision for me was to move away from a permanent room booking for my Coaching Business and just rent rooms at times suitable to my Clients.  I was sure.  Or so I thought.

This morning I went to the Bookstore to pick up my Yellow coffee table that I keep at the Bookstore and it was wonderful at this time of the morning.  I love books and there were books everywhere as the Manager was setting up the store.  I went upstairs to collect my table and I felt a sense of magic and mystery and energy.  When I looked into the room, where I had been setting up every Friday, I sensed stillness and peace and there was natural light coming through the corner window.  I felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend when I shut the door.  I said Goodbye to the Manager, and I had a sense that I didn't want to shut the door. 

As soon as I got to my car I had a sense, a strong feeling, that I had made the wrong decision.  It was wonderful that I now had access to space at a local Physiotherapy Clinic, which increases my flexibility in terms of times I can offer to my Clients, and yet was I closing a door (and still trying to keep open a window at the Bookstore by saying that I would like to talk about other ideas and opportunities)?  I was confused.

As I am writing this I am getting a sense that my Yang may be coming on too strong.  I had abandoned the Yang Business Corporate part of me when I was made redundant - and for the past 7 weeks I have been trying to get reacquainted with my Yang, falling back in love with my Yang.  When I left my room last Friday I was very happy with the Bookstore and my room and yet over the weekend I went into the Shadow of Overthinking (on the Yang side) and then Overemotional and Global (on my Yin side).  It is my Shadows that are creating confusion.

Today when I got home from Cronulla I wanted to call back the Bookstore straight away, and I decided to just sit for 15 minutes in Meditation.  A similar image from Wednesday's Meditation came into my mind's eye - where there are two cliffs, going right down, and I am being held in the middle - held, no panic, I am being held in the hands of the Universe.  It is a comforting image - I do not have a fear of falling down into the depths - I feel safe.  In the Meditation today I have a sense of me Building Bridges - one for the Bookstore, one for the Physiotherapy, and just the need for me to keep Building Bridges around me and a sense of more people coming as I build more bridges.  WOW!!  This works for me.

I also remember my Connection with one of the Trees that I love at Gunnamatta Bay, and I remember when I had my hand on the heart of this beautiful Tree that the wind was so strong, and I was being encouraged to stay grounded and stay strong and not to let the wind blow me off course.

My Yin hears my Soul, my Yang ACTION part of me picks up the phone and I tell the Manager that I would still like to pay for space on a Friday.  The Manager is lovely on the phone and she says that I can have the weekend to think about it.  I am happy to make the decision now and I realise that I have to show Commitment and stay grounded in this space.  I was led to the Bookstore by my Intuition and then my Shadows surfaced and led me away, only for a brief moment.

When I am on the phone to my Mum, my Justifier Shadow is in full force, explaining, reinforcing, justifying my decision - my Mum picks this up straight away, and then I justify my justifying and we have a laugh!!!  I then realise the strengths of the Overthinker and Justifier where I am able to listen to their voices of concern and make some changes that would make me feel comfortable.

I have another chat with the Manager from the Bookstore and she is helpful with ideas to help grow my Business.  I offer that I may be able to leave some of my gear down at the Bookstore which would be easier than carting everything back and forth and she is happy with that idea.  I also mention that I will come to the Bookstore when I have a Client and use the other time working on my Business.  It was a great conversation and she offers to include me in the Newsletter this month and once again offers ideas.

I enjoy some Art Therapy and I enjoy feeling into the sense of being held between the cliffs and enjoy the imagery of me Building Bridges.  I feel that the Bridges are just new and yet they are weak and with time they will become stronger.  I also have a sense that from these Bridges will come life and growth -  I love this feeling of a tree growing and new leaves and branches - and this all happening from me Building Bridges. 

I enjoy my second drawing.  I wish I could draw or paint and yet I always have fun with my Art Therapy.  As I am beginning my second drawing, the following words come to me -"Wherever I AM I CAN BRING LIGHT" - I love these words. 

In my second drawing, there is less emphasis on the space where I work, less attachment to rooms.  I have a sense that I can work at rooms in the Bookstore, at the Physiotherapy Clinic, outdoors in Nature in the park, by the ocean, in any room - and "Wherever I AM I CAN BRING LIGHT".  I have the sense that the most powerful dynamic is the Coaching Relationship and I just need the space to bring this alive.  In this picture the rooms and space opportunities and possibilities are in the centre and yet there is more emphasis now on the magic and mystery on the outside and for me to be out in Community to Spread The Yellow and keep Building Bridges.

When I was just in moments of silence, not thinking, I had an insight that this was never a choice between the Bookstore permanent room or the flexible room at the Physio Clinic - instead I can be in Celebration that I now have more space available to build my Business.

I practice Coaching on myself and I practice Visualisations.  I Visualise my Business in September where my Goal is to be working with 5-7 Coaching Clients per week - in my Visualisation I see myself in the room in the Bookstore and I feel Excited that I am working with Clients.  Another time, I close my eyes and I am guided to Helicopter up and look at this from a new view, I feel happy in this space.

While I am a Coach and I am trained to facilitate Coaching with others - this experience shows me that I am only human, and that I am on my own Journey.  I feel that I am still getting to know all parts of myself, getting to know the main parts of myself being Yin and Yang, and that I need to continue to be a Witness to myself and look out for those parts in my Shadows and welcome them back into the light.  I also have to face my fears - rather than running away, I need to stand strong and stay grounded.  I feel that there is a lesson and perhaps something deeper going on for me here - and I enjoy talking with my Mum today about what I was like as a teenager, about myself now, and in terms of similarities to my Mum.  I love 'Soulcraft' and there are so many wonderful words - I love this paragraph -
"...opening to your sacred wound allows you to genuinely fall in love with yourself.  You come to see yourself so deeply you form an intimate relationship with the person you most truly are.  What's more, you recover a treasure to carry into life, and thereby contribute to the redemption of the world - your family, community, and species." 

Today I am Inspired to connect with an image of my Goddess - an image that feels right and that I can recapture in my mind's eye.  I search Google images and then I find a beautiful art gallery of beautiful Goddess artwork http://www.josephinewall.co.uk/goddesses.html

There are so many beautiful images and then I find the one that resonates with me - this is my Goddess.

I love this image - this beautiful Goddess - being in the moment - in Communion with Nature, Light and Glowing.  This Goddess is within me, and I can choose to bring her to life.

I feel Inspired today and I am happy - it helps that my Mum is in good spirits and we enjoyed a really great phone conversation chatting together.  My Mum tells me I just need to be true to myself, that we are all different and that I just have to be myself.  My Mum also tells me to enjoy every day, enjoy every moment.  I wish my Mum had the Internet at home - my Mum has always said that I am a great writer (my Mum loves me), and I know my Mum would love reading my Blog. 

I am also happy that we now have hot water and I enjoyed a hot bath tonight (ENJOYED!!) - and now I am happy to be at home with my Man and watching a love story that I love.  I am Grateful for the Gifts of today.