In preparation for the Intensive College Course, I completed the Myers Briggs Personality Profile which identified my Strengths and Preferences as ENFP - slightly expressed extravert, distinctively expressed Intuitive, very expressed feeling personality, moderately expressed perceiving personality. I am strong in my Intuition (especially that I now allow space in my life to hear the whisper of my Soul, and voice of Spirit) and I am in touch with my Feelings and Emotions. Through my Coaching Studies, I learn that being ENFP means that my Yin, my Feminine part of me is strong.
While my Myers Briggs Personality is Intuitive, rather that the Thinker, I have developed a strong Thinker through 17 years in the Corporate/ Business world - I can be Logical and Analytical. - these are the qualities that belong to the Yang part of me, my Masculine. The problem is that the Shadows of Overthinker, Critic and Judge can surface - and then I often abandon the Thinker, in preference of being in touch with my Intuition and Feelings.
The College Project, which is actually proving to be so beneficial to my life, is about choosing an area that needs development. In realising that I had abandoned my Yang, the skills I had developed from the Corporate World, I realised that I needed to get to know my Yang again. I also realised that while I had a strong Thinker (Logical and Analytical), I needed to develop the Sensor part of me, the Organiser, Sequential, Planned part of myself.
I have been a Witness to my Yin and Yang for the last 7 weeks, their childhood friendship of them first getting to know each other, their adolescent first teenage crush (my Yin's first kiss with her Yang) and now bringing their true love into maturity. My learning style is Visual, which I love, as I love seeing images in my mind's eye - and as I walk into the Doctor's Clinic I draw on images to give me strength.
I love my Goddess - she is beautiful and caring and natural and spreads light and energy. For this appointment I need my Beloved Yang, my Masculine part of me. I had been imagining an image of Richard Gere in a business suit, and yet this seems not me - too corporate for me.
And so I bring in a new image for my Yang - one that I can draw on, that makes sense for me - my male energy.
As I began this journey I became more in tune with allowing the creative tension between my Yin and Yang - where my Yang would wait patiently, and just be there, just waiting for my Intuitive Yin to know the next move. I still love this powerful process - and rather than getting into Overthinker, I love that I am in touch with my Intuition and allow her to guide me. And yet I am also loving the Strength, Confidence, Thinker, Planner, Action of my Yang and I am more Conscious of bringing my Yang onto the stage. It reminds me of the clip that my Teacher and Mentor shared with us - I love it - "Stand By Me".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7P5jWu9JLo&feature=related
When I Consciously draw on my Yin and Yang, there is an internal dialogue happening - almost like a real conversation between these two parts of me - where I definitely feel my Yang male reminding my Yin female part that he is here and ready to go to work for me - he is saying "what now, where to next". I feel my Yang man is there for me. It is a great feeling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcITElLbSow&feature=related
I feel my Yin and Yang together, working together as a Team, in partnership.
While I sit in the Doctor's Clinic waiting for my Appointment, I feel happy and at peace. I am relaxed. There are 4 patients in front of me and yet I feel happy, content just to sit and wait. This is important to me. I sense the image of my Yin-Yang Union - my Goddess in Power. I love this image - it speaks to me - I am a Goddess on a Mission - THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
While still waiting for the Doctor, waiting about an hour, which feels like about 10 minutes, I visit the restroom and when looking at the mirror, I feel the Yang, Masculine Part of me speaking to the Yin, Feminine Part of me - I feel his energy speak to me - "You look beautiful, especially beautiful when you smile".
When I meet with the Doctor, he is welcoming and relaxed and I feel happy to be there, talking about Coaching and how I may be able to help his patients. Thanks to the help of my Yang and Yang's Strengths of being Logical and Planned and Ordered, I had prepared a folder with two pages of notes about Transformational Life Coaching, Confidentiality, The Types of Clients Who May Benefit From Working With a Coach, Client Benefits Transformational Coaching Process and about SHINE Coaching - and so I felt Confident. The Doctor is very relaxed and I am relaxed and rather than speaking from my notes, and being in Yang, Business, Salesman mode, I just speak from the heart. I tell him I am Passionate about helping people in the local Community. I tell him that Coaching offers the opportunity to support people who who may be looking to move forward in a new and positive direction, who may be experiencing stress and may be at risk of falling into depression - offering support and being preventative. The Doctor asks me questions about my background and education and in hindsight I am happy that I do not go into my Defensive or Justifier Shadows - instead I am relaxed in my communication and I feel very comfortable. I am happy that the Doctor is happy to sit and talk with me. I share with him why I am choosing to work in this line of work. I feel we have good rapport and that we have enjoyed a Connection. As I write this Blog, I am happy that I do not go into a Shadow of Overthinker, analysing everything or go into my Self-Doubt Shadow. I feel my Yin and Yang, all parts of myself, worked well in building another bridge in the local Community. My Yang, Businessman, has offered up the suggestion to Yin to write a follow up letter - good idea!
In Evaluation of my Yin-Yang Union I feel happy that I can be Consciously drawing on all the Strengths within me - my Feminine and Masculine parts of me. I love that I now have strong images in my mind's eye and that I can choose to bring these parts of myself on to the stage of my life. I do love that we all have Choices, that we may have Strengths and Preferences, and love that we have all parts within us, and can develop these parts so that we are Self-Reliant and become more Self-Confident. I love that there is a whole love story happening within us - so often I have searched for a man to make me feel good or give me Positive Reinforcement and yet I have the capacity to love myself and offer support to myself. The experience at the Doctor's Appointment will be a good example of my Yin and Yang in Union, working together to bring about love and light and energy for the greater good. There were none of my Shadows in sight - my Overwhelm, Lonely, Self-Obsessed, Seeker of Positive Reinforcement, Judge, Comparer, Critic, 'Used To Be', 'Ghosts of the Past' or Stressed Out - all these parts were nowhere to be seen. I felt my Yin and Yang holding hands, supporting each other, relaxed together, head and heart. Well Done My Yin-Yang.
After the appointment, when I am sitting having a chai latte, I draw a picture of a heart with rays coming from the heart - this is how I feel after the appointment, my heart is open and I felt in Connection with the doctor who also has an open heart. I find this image on Google images and it speaks to me.
After my Doctor's Appointment I go to the Bookstore (where I have a room booked on Fridays for my Coaching) and I am happy to see the Owner and Manager and I thank the Manager for the idea of making Appointments with Doctors in the local area. I tell the Manager that the Appointment went really well. I feel happy being at the Bookstore, I feel a sense of Belonging. I am also happy when the Manager says that she has a feeling that I am going to do really well - it is genuine and heartfelt.
I look back over my notes that I printed out regarding an ENFP personality type. I am happy when I read the Jung Career Indicator and it lists the following careers: Psychology, Counsellor, Journalist/ Reporter, Literature/ Writer, Film Producer, Marketing, Public Relationships Specialist. I also love reading about my Strengths and Preferences, of my ENFP Profile, from different websites (http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=champion + http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html):
- Can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences (this is true and is true today when I tell the Manager about my positive meeting with the Doctor)
- Take things in primarily via my Intuition and can tell what is going on inside of others
- Warm, full of energy, enthusiastic, live in the world of possibilities, become very passionate and excited about things
- My enthusiasm gives me the ability to inspire and motivate others
- Love life and see it as a special gift to strive and make the most of it
- Everything I do must be in line with my Values
- Need time alone to centre myself
- Interested in people and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships
- Speak or write in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience or of motivating others with powerful conviction
- Strong drive to speak out on issues.
When I read these Strengths and they resonate with me, it makes me feel happy - a sense of Self-Love.
This afternoon I watch love stories "Serendipity" and "Sleepless In Seattle" - I hired 5 weekly movies for $7 and I love when two people fall in love. I also watch youtube and enjoy beautiful love songs. I could listen to love songs all day. I love this link - Greatest Long Songs - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUittJXChGY&NR=1 I love these words of these love songs, I imagine my Yin and Yang singing these words to me - saying the words to myself - embracing myself in Self-Love and reassurance, beautiful words with so much love:
- "And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on"
- "Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars"
- "Hold my hand"
- "You will always be my endless love"
- "Baby, I'm amazed at the way I really need you"
- "Nothing compares to you"
- "I can't stop loving you"
- "I took the good times, I'll take the bad times, I'll take you just the way you are"
- "How beautiful life is while you're in the world"
- "I want to spend my life with you"
- "In your eyes, the light, the heat, your eyes, I am complete"
- "Have I told you lately that I love you, have I told you there is noone else above you" (WOW)
- "I will always love you" (WOW!!!)
- "I can't help falling in love you"
- "I need your love"
WOW. I say these words to myself, twice over. I realise that I do love so many wonderful aspects of myself and that I am amazing, I can recognise and Honour myself, be Grateful for myself - I am in Celebration of myself. Once upon a time, a long time ago, about 6 years ago, I was deeply depressed, I didn't value myself, I couldn't see a bright, happy future, I thought my life was not worth living. It was so long ago and the experience taught me so much. This experience was also the catalyst to want me to help people - this experience led me to my lifework of a Coach. And now, in this Journey, I am learning to know myself The greatest gift is that I am moving from Self Acceptance to Self-Love. I remember when I was married and my ex-husband would say that he "accepted me" - I hated this, this made me sad - I wanted him to tell me he loved me, that I was the love of his life, that I was wonderful and amazing and FANTASTIC! And over the years I have dwelled in other unhealthy relationships.
And as I write this Blog I realise, up comes this Awareness, an "AHA" moment, that over the years, mainly before my Course, and sometimes now, I have allowed myself to dwell in an unhealthy relationship with myself - self-doubt, at times low self-confidence and self-esteem, at times negative and critical self-talk, certainly times wanting to change to be better or be more perfect.
And today I can Honour myself and say Well Done My Yin-Yang, Well Done Kath in Consciously choosing to bring these parts of myself together, to get to know myself and develop my Strengths - Well Done Kath, Well Done Me.
I can also be in Celebration for all my Achievements and Wins in the last 7 weeks. I am in Celebration for all that I have accomplished in my Business through working with my Yin and Yang, relying on myself, bringing myself into my own power. When I look at the Art Therapy painting from College from Sunday 11 April 2010, I am reminded that this was the Inspiration for my Business Logo.
By using the Strengths of my Yin part of me and my Yang part of me I was able to bring a Business Card and Flyer to life. My Yin and Yang have also been essential in helping me organise two spaces for my Coaching - at a Bookstore and a Physiotherapist Clinic. My Yin has loved more time in Nature, more time doing Art and listening to music that speaks to my Soul. And my Yang has been so powerful and wonderful in getting organised with Client Forms and emails and preparation for the material for my meeting with the Doctor today. While my Yang had all the material today, and was so in full support of his beloved Yin, it was wonderful that my Yin part of me was so present today, where I was able to show my Passion and my love of helping people. And in the Process of Evaluation of my Yin-Yang Project I realise that I have become Self-Reliant and I have gained more Strength and Self-Confidence.
The GREATEST GIFT is that I am in a place of Self-Love. I can now say to myself, the words I have longed to hear - YOU ARE wonderful and amazing and FANTASTIC! I see you. I see the Greatness in you.
I love these Love Duets - they make my heart sing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG4TL3ZktyQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Dg1Ymji-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv1zsxa-qb0&feature=fvsr
i like your yellow.
ReplyDeleteyour drawings are shit...but for some reason,they got me where i need to be.
ReplyDeleteyour drawings aint really that bad.