Keep It Real

It is cold.  It is so cold.  I am sitting here in my layers of jumpers and a scarf and a tracksuit, with a heater and my rug.  

It took me a long time to get to sleep last night, my thoughts were racing.  And then again this morning.  I tried a Meditation and yet my mind was way too busy.  And so I reluctantly got out of bed, and  enjoyed a hot shower (probably the last one for a while, as our hot water has now shifted to warm water - I am disappointed as I was looking forward to another hot bath). I then enjoyed some Art Therapy - just getting out my textas and crayons and blank paper.  I am certainly not an artist and yet I enjoy just playing, letting thoughts and feelings in my unconscious mind come to the surface.  I love the opportunity to express my inner experience.  Here are my drawings from this morning - the first one is a current reality regarding my current room for my Coaching Business and the second image is my desired reality.  

As I share these images and write these words, I get a sense of 'should I share so much' - and yet, it is interesting that my theme for today has been to Keep It Real.  I have realised, quite to my surprise, that although I am Committed to being honest and true and authentic, I have realised that I am not entirely happy with where I am setting up my Coaching Business.  This is a surprise, as I have been saying how much I love my Coaching space.  My strength of being naturally happy and positive and looking at the sunny side of everything may be getting in my way.  I do love that I am starting my Coaching Business.  I ldo love setting up my room.  And yet I feel that there is not enough natural light in my room, I love natural light.  I also feel that I am isolated - whereas my desired reality is to be working in a Community of healers.  I feel that I am needing to work hard at bringing the light and energy into the room.  Perhaps it is just the rainy weather - and yet when I draw an image of my desired reality, it is naturally a place of light and energy and it is dynamic with other healers working in a Community.  I am in a room with natural light.  There is less need for me to fill the space with "stuff" - there is space for the power and energy of the relationship.  

Hmm... this is all very surprising to me.  Time to sit with this insight, do some research on other opportunities within the Bookstore or within the local area. 

I really love Art Therapy - I take away the pressure of having to produce artwork and let myself enjoy the process.  I look up Art Therapy and I read on Wikipedia -
"Purpose of Art Therapy - The purpose of art therapy is much the same as in any other psychotherapeutic modality: to improve or maintain mental health and emotional well-being. But whereas some of the other expressive therapies utilize the performing arts for expressive purposes, art therapy generally utilizes drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, and other forms of visual art expression. For that reason art therapists are trained to recognize the nonverbal symbols and metaphors that are communicated within the creative process, symbols and metaphors which might be difficult to express in words or in other modalities. By helping their clients to discover what underlying thoughts and feelings are being communicated in the artwork and what it means to them, it is hoped that clients will not only gain insight and judgment, but perhaps develop a better understanding of themselves and the way they relate to the people around them. According to Malchiodi (2006) 'Art making is seen as an opportunity to express oneself imaginatively, authentically, and spontaneously, an experience that, over time, can lead to personal fulfilment, emotional reparation, and transformation. The creative process can be a health-enhancing and growth-producing experience.'"

After the Art Therapy I feel tired - I have a lie down - it is rainy outside - not much to do - I decide to just rest.  My Man is lovely and he buys us lunch and then I enjoy reading on the Couch - reading my wonderful 'Soulcraft' book - WONDERFUL!  There are some beautiful paragraphs that speak to me - especially since I feel that since being made redundant I was given the chance to hear the Call To Adventure
- "The angels have arrived to summon you to the adventure for which you have longed.  They are your guides to your Soul.  But the opportunity does not arrive in the form you had imagined.  It arrives in the middle of an enormous storm: now the immense loneliness begins."

- "Why an immense loneliness?  In surrendering the mainstays of your former worldview and separating yourself from everyday community life, your old anchors and familiar reference points disappear.  You will have to rely on yourself more deeply and fully than ever before.  You will have to surrender the cherished belief that someone is going to protect you, save you, do the work of growing for you, or show you the way.  The descent necessarily begins with an immense loneliness, and only someone who possesses the skills required to complete a first house of personality ('the worldview you began forming in the expansive growing season of adolescence and that carried you through your first adulthood') - only that person is going to be ready to handle that degree of loneliness.  Although the knock on the door does not require you to be alone per se, it does require you to go your own way."

- "Once you have been called, you will have to separate - psychologically if not physically - from the ordinary life of your community.  During your young adulthood, you had some confidence in your personality and you felt you could trust the powers of nature.  Now... your life becomes 'a riddle again, and you again a stranger' - to yourself and others.  You will have to relinquish your temptation to conform or to seek acceptance from others.  You will have to go out on your own."

I could lie on the couch and read all afternoon - and yet I love being outdoors.  My Man and I decide to enjoy a walk outside  together - despite the rain.  We equip ourselves with a large umbrella and enjoy a lovely walk together - we have a lovely time.  We walk to Cronulla and enjoy a chai - I love being in Cronulla.  I feel this is where my Coaching Business belongs - this is where I belong.  My Man and I walk through Gunnamatta Park - I just love Gunnamatta.  I just love being out in Nature.

Gunnamatta Park has an amphitheatre and when I walk past this outdoor amphitheatre, I often think of a key message that I would present if I was the one on stage.  The other day I had a sense that the message I should present would be 'Make Your Life Great'.  Today I stand on the stage and it feels very real standing on the stage - what would be my key message if there were people in the crowd?  I look around - the message is obvious - Keep It Real.

I love being outdoors and in Nature.  This is so important to me - HUGE for me.   I love witnessing the beauty of Tress.  I love seeing Birds flying and listening to their songs.  I am blessed to be surrounded by such beauty.  I am Inspired when I am in Nature.  I love starting my day Walking around the Bay and through the Park and to the beach.  I am blessed.  I am Grateful.

When I get home I have a sense that there is a book with a message - words that will speak to me.  I scan my bookcases - shelf by shelf - wanting something to jump out - and I then pick up a few books that I thought (rather than felt) would contain some words of wisdom.  I flicked through a few pages and yet no words spoke to me.  So I get comfortable again on the couch and start reading 'Soulcraft'.  Within minutes I read the words I need to hear - powerful words -
"... anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you."

WOW!!!  These words raise questions for me - does my room bring me alive?  Or am I bringing it to life?   I close my eyes and almost have an image of me shrinking - is it taking away my energy?   

 

Perhaps I am also attaching too much importance to having a room, booking a room every week, making sure I have space and belong.  Perhaps the real adventure belongs in letting go of certainty, being free and just having a few options available and trusting that the Clients will come and see me - that the power is not in the room.  I do believe that the power of Coaching, the magic, is in the power of the relationship.

I am concerned that I am paying money every week and just sitting waiting for Clients.  Instead, if I am honest, and to Keep It Real, my preference would be to have a room or two available where I pay for the space when I see a Client.  This would mean that I would be free to be in Community, meeting people who may be Clients or be able to refer Clients, as well as designing Programs from my notes - working on my business - rather than just sitting in my business.  I just need to Keep It Real and spend some time, tuning into my Yin, and using the strength and confidence of my Yang. 

In true Yang style I decide that I will write a list of what is important to me (some of my findings from my Art Therapy and insights after writing this Blog) and then I will see whether the current space is the best place, as well as exploring other options.  Most importantly, I just love working with people.  I am very passionate about wanting to help people move towards a life they love - and so I want to work in an environment where I am not isolated - a place that is dynamic and energetic and there is the potential for people to be referred to me (as other healers know that I am Committed to working with my Clients so that they may feel Successful, Happy, Inspired, New, Energetic, Empowered).

Tonight I Keep It Real - I ask my Man if he will take me to Woolworths so that I can buy some Clinkers, the last chocolate for a while, and now I am having a glass of wine.  Tomorrow, 24 May 2010, I start my Detox - with Health being a HUGE Priority for me.  This will be easy for me - my greatest desire is to have my own Baby and so I am choosing Self-Care.  No matter where this Journey may lead, Self-Care will always be important - as well as my Commitment to Keep It Real.